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In a funk....

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Really none of my blogs have been very uplifting, lol. Haven't worked on myself like I wanted to and I take all the blame for that. I think secretly I just didn't want to, so I didn't.
I believe all of this stems from stress and my coping mechanism is binging. Yeah, great coping mechanism! Just make myself fatter and it will all get better, NOT!
My home life is not what I want it to be, I don't get along with my step-children, especially the middle one. This is not from lack of trying on my part, but because I expect them to clean up after themselves (the oldest are 15 and 13) it is a constant struggle. I am away from home about 12 1/2 hours a day and I come home to a mess every single day. Not one person tries to help me, I don't get it, I would never have done this to my parents! The 13 year old cussed me out yesterday just because I asked her to wash the dishes for me, needless to say she is minus all electronics for the next few days. I am not proud of the fact that I hit her on the arm, not very hard mind you, but I let my anger get the best of me and that is never ok. She is the biggest problem in our house, really she needs to go get some professional help. I do have my husband working on that for her, I just don't know what else to do with her.
Aside from all of this I also have a 10 month old and again I work 6 days a week.
I already talked to my husband about starting to go to the gym later in the evening, it is literally like 5 minutes from my house. He told me he would watch the baby while I do that, now I just need to start going and also start trying to get myself to stop binging and start directing my emotions towards working out. I believe that once I start working out, then my mind-set will be much clearer and I will be able to deal with things at home on a more positive note.
Last time I lost 50 pounds, that was about 2 years ago and I was really focused, but I didn't have a family to contend with, so I just need to think of this as a much bigger challenge. I know I can do this, I need to for myself and my family!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you everyone for your kind words. Unfortunately things have gotten worse and my husband and I are talking about separating. We love each other very much, but the kids just cause too many problems between us right now. The kids don't listen to him or their Mother, but I get the most disrespect. Pretty hard to take when their Mother barely pays child support and all of my money goes to helping them have a better quality of life. I go without things just so they can have.

    Annie, I know you can do this!! We both can, I am here for you if you need me! Not only does exercise make your mind more clear it has the added benefit of getting your body in great shape!! :)
    1958 days ago
    Sorry the kids aren't co-operating. It's difficult when you're a step parent. The kids don't feel they have to mind. I hope it'll get easier for you. At least your husband is being supportive. emoticon
    1959 days ago
    So sorry to hear you're having a rough time. It's so hard to juggle everything and it's easy to let stress get the best of us. Family counceling may be a good idea if you can get everyone focused on it. Additionally, taking time for yourself (gym, a movie, quiet time) as much as you can is key. We all need a moment to just breathe without focusing on everyone else's needs. Hang in there and I hope things get better. Feel free to drop me a line if you need support!
    1959 days ago
    Yes working out it going to help you in a BIG way! bless your heart emoticon I know times like this seem to overwhelm us - but this trial your going through is making you a stronger person- Believe you can do and you will
    1959 days ago
    "I believe that once I start working out, then my mind-set will be much clearer and I will be able to deal with things at home on a more positive note.
    Last time I lost 50 pounds, that was about 2 years ago and I was really focused"

    I like this! I need to get focused too - I was just about to blog about it - maybe more exercise will help me to do that too.

    Hey girl, we can so do this!

    1959 days ago
    Thanks guys. Yes, I have sat down with them many times and explained how hard it is and how much help it would be if everyone would pitch in and pick up things on the floor, washing the dishes, etc. but nothing has worked. It has really put a strain on my marriage because of this!
    I just keep praying they will go live with their Mother, as bad as that sounds!! The only way I get through it is with God's help, that is it, oh and food!! lol
    I am actually hoping we can all go to family counseling...
    1960 days ago
    Oh wow girl.. that is so much to deal with.. i dont know if i could do better than you..! Have you had a family meeting..?? with kids and husband there so you can say how you feel.. in a nice way.. not pointing a finger but telling them how hard this is..
    I think you need to go and exercise for you.. so you can deal with the stress better and exercise will help a lot!~ so dont give up.. keep journaling. even if its a good report.. i am praying for you.. hugs Geri
    1960 days ago
    emoticon When you realize what exercise can help you with, you will be glad you are going to go to the gym.
    1960 days ago
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