This is HARD!!!
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
For the last several days, I've been struggling with a shoulder injury that rendered me temporarily unable to workout.
For some reason, that translated into, "I'm injured, so I MUST eat everything I can get my hands on NOW!" and that is what I did for about 3 days. Which, of course, sent me into a fit of depression over not taking better care of myself and a bunch of self-recrimination over throwing all my hard work these past 5+ months down the drain.
I was still drinking my water and I did get out for a couple of nice long bike rides (I don't ride with my shoulder, thank God!).
And most of the food I ate was healthy, even if it was in ridiculous quantities.
But none of that mattered to me. My self-talk and ability to think logically seemed to be injured along with my shoulder. I never knew those things were connected!
Anyway, today was the day that I said "enough is enough". I grabbed my bootstraps and pulled up with as much strength as I could muster. I made myself eat "right" all day and take the stairs at work. I drank extra water. Then, I went to the gym after work and worked my butt off. Man, it was HARD to do that!!! But I stayed motivated by reminding myself of my birthday goal and how close I am to achieving my desired birthday weight of 149 lbs. I can still make it if I work hard and I refuse to let myself down just when I'm so close, so I kept moving.
Then, I thought about all the smaller size clothes that I've been able to wear and how much better I feel about myself when I'm in them.
I also reminded myself that I've been getting rid of all my "fat" clothes as I've been shrinking and I would be darned if I was going to start laying out money to replace them now! Not when I'm just starting to enjoy clothes again.
And I kept going.
And I'm glad I did because, while this is hard, losing weight, being healthy, and looking good again IS what I want. I'm committed to my own well-being and I will NOT sacrifice my body again.
As I left the gym today, I felt tired and sweaty and a bit sore, but I was also proud of myself. And that's a VERY good thing.
It means I'm BACK!