Tuesday, December 04, 2012
It's so funny how time can make you forget. I forget how far I've come, I forget how much work I've done and I forget what life used to be like.
It is nice that I'm able to put the past in the past. It feels good to not think of myself as the fat girl, or the former fat girl. It feels good to just live in the now. But then there are the times that I eat like crap, gain a little weight and feel like the world is falling apart. I forget that I am no longer 300 pounds.
It is funny how fast the fat girl feelings come back. I often feel like if I have a slip up, eat like crap here and there, that I'm going to wake up one morning and be 300 pounds again.
I know that it's crazy, but sometimes I feel like that. Or when I weigh myself and see 150 pounds and feel like the whole world is collapsing. Yeah that's right I freak out about weighing 150 pounds, that is 1/2 what I used to weigh. That is what I weighed when I was 13 years old and here I am freaking out about it.
Sometimes I just have to go back and see where I was, remember what I've done to get to this point. And I need to remember that pride I felt every time I reached a goal, every mile I've ran, every pound that I've shed and I need to remember to remain proud.
I am not this girl anymore.