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Tuesday, December 04, 2012

It's so funny how time can make you forget. I forget how far I've come, I forget how much work I've done and I forget what life used to be like.
It is nice that I'm able to put the past in the past. It feels good to not think of myself as the fat girl, or the former fat girl. It feels good to just live in the now. But then there are the times that I eat like crap, gain a little weight and feel like the world is falling apart. I forget that I am no longer 300 pounds.
It is funny how fast the fat girl feelings come back. I often feel like if I have a slip up, eat like crap here and there, that I'm going to wake up one morning and be 300 pounds again.
I know that it's crazy, but sometimes I feel like that. Or when I weigh myself and see 150 pounds and feel like the whole world is collapsing. Yeah that's right I freak out about weighing 150 pounds, that is 1/2 what I used to weigh. That is what I weighed when I was 13 years old and here I am freaking out about it.

Sometimes I just have to go back and see where I was, remember what I've done to get to this point. And I need to remember that pride I felt every time I reached a goal, every mile I've ran, every pound that I've shed and I need to remember to remain proud.

I am not this girl anymore.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It is all about learning.... emoticon Like the idea emoticon of an occasional splurge! I have to emoticon memorize the definition of OCCASIONAL!! emoticon
    2195 days ago
    I experience the same thing from time to time. I'm often still shocked to see photos of me from because part of me expects to see the old obese me. My brain is starting to catch up with my body but I still worry about how easy it could be for me to go back to my old ways and size. We'll get there eventually!
    2195 days ago
    It is so easy to get stuck in the "fat girl" mentality. I fight against her often. I also have to remind myself where I was before.

    Keep rockin it! :)
    2195 days ago
    You're truly an inspiration. Yes, be proud of yourself and the huge accomplishment that is yours. Congrats on really finding yourself. You look wonderful. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2196 days ago
    I ALWAYS have those horrible thoughts and nightmares of ballooning up to over 300 pounds again. And I think if we keep that in the back of our minds, it will NEVER happen again. It's when we become complacent that things get out of control.
    2196 days ago
    That is the scary part. My inner fat girl is a constant reminder that I could go back to my old self any time if I'm not diligent, but I'm learning that a splurge OCCASIONALLY is ok, now I just have to try and keep it occasional. LOL. emoticon
    2196 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/4/2012 7:05:21 PM
    It's easier to get back to the 300 pounds than you think....however you should be able to enjoy yourself occasionally ...just keep active and aware and you will be ok!
    2196 days ago
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