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Didn't expect this

Sunday, December 02, 2012

I seemed to have been drawn to this site i don't know why, i guess it could be Aithley telling me look. And boy i didn't expect so many spark mails, replies to the last note and those so called goodies items. It is overwhelming and nice feeling that she touched the lives of many people. I do miss her. And nothing i can do can bring her back, i looked through some of the blogs she posted. And some team groups she belonged to to see what the fuss is about of sparkpeople, i am really glad she found such sight to help her through her weight struggles, She always seemed to have struggled with weight, most people says she looks like grandma, reasonably tall and round. And always smiled. That too was Aithley, and i loved her. I remember the nicest memories of her smile and end up crying. I never thought i would outlive my sister, She was just 25 and had done so much with her life alot more than i have.

I lit a few candles for her on this page. If you want to do so too here is a link

I also donated to the organisation she worked with for abroad. Here is the link to that I know she often worried about there not being enough funds for her continue with her work.

On top of things i keep thinking, if she stayed in cape town 2 weeks more, she be safe at home, she was due to come back 16 December. But i know she wouldn't have had any regrets doing what she did. And i am proud of her

I spoke with people at the Aids center where she last worked in Cape Town. Anja is still in a coma, but is stable, and she is showing more signs that she will come out of it which is good, i would like to talk to her, since she was the last person to have seen Aithley alive. Plus i need to go to Cape town and collect Aithley's belongings, i don't want my parents to go they are elderly and i don't want the same fate happen to them, as it is known young females and elderly are main targets there. I heard the men who are accused for assaults on my sister and her room mates have been found, but it is not known what the consequences are for them, it was a series of 3 men. But sad thing is this happens often in Johannesburg, it may be beautiful but some places you really need someone strong to protect you from things like this. I just miss her , I wish i was there to protect her.

Her body arriving in England was not what i expected, i always pictured her with perfect complexion, And a beauty, but taking my parents to see her body when it arrived it was hard, you could hardly recognize her, she was blue and black from what happened to her. Her funeral was yesterday, was a beautiful day i must say. We chose to do a closed casket because of the state she was in. My dad made a beautiful memorial table at home for dear Aithley.

I see there is alot of people that wants me to keep updated on Anja, well i probably go to Cape town in a week or 2 to pick up the things and i can tell you more then. Thankyou for the support you have given to me and my family. Although some people mistake Riley as our surname. It is her 2nd middle name. Our surname isn't Riley. I placed it as a C. for the surname, as i don't know if she told our surname so i didn't want to give out too much.

I miss you Aithley. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thank you for the posting. Please be careful on your trip.
    1929 days ago

    I am so sorry you and your parents had to see Aithley in that state. Just remember her how she was as much as you can. That was nice that your dad made a memorial table for her. She is missed. I enjoyed so much talking with her. She would make me laugh so hard sometimes. My husband always knew when I was talking to her. I was always smiling or laughing. She was great to talk to. I told her it was wonderful that she had worked so hard to become a nurse and then share her time to help others in such desperate countries. Many were very fortunate to have known her. I am glad the men that harmed her and Anji were caught. I hope they are punished in a way to fit the crime they did. I will pray for Anji's full recovery, also. Take comfort in the wonderful memories you have of her. She was a sweet wonderful young woman. I am glad I was blessed to have been friends with her. I will miss her very much!
    1947 days ago
  • DBELLE39
    Thank you for updating, it's still hard to fathom that she's not popping on with motivation, but I know she is looking down over those she loved & cared for so much.
    1956 days ago
    Thank you for updating us. Your family is still in my prayers.
    1957 days ago
    Aithley made a difference in this world. She will be sadly missed by many.
    Thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you and your family.
    1957 days ago
  • BEFIT018
    Oh I wish I had seen this earlier! Thank you so much for coming back and updating us. I lit a candle for her on the website you listed. Thank you for that!

    I can't imagine what you & your family are going through. My prayers continue to be with you all. I'm sorry you have to go to SA to collect her things. If you can, please tell Anja LOTS of people are thinking & praying for her. emoticon emoticon
    1957 days ago
    1957 days ago
    I didn't think it was possible to have cyber friends but, the loss of your sister just proves I have more to learn. She was just a such a bundle of energy and positivity that I am very happy I had the honor of crossing paths with her.
    1957 days ago
    Continuing prayers for your family. As you can see, your sister will never be forgotten. Again, thank you for sharing with us. emoticon
    1958 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    I am absolutely thrilled that you keep coming back to Sparks to fill u sin. You are a wonderful person, I can see where Aithley gets her charm and giving personality. Maybe some day you can pull this spark page up for your parents and let them read how much love was shared both ways here with your sister. We never know how our words and actions will ever affect another person,, you and yours have the privilege to see that in action here.
    If not for Sparks and Aithley joining it, all of these people, WORLDWIDE, would never have been touched by the gift that is your sister. That is the message that I wish to convey to you and your family. thank you for keeping us posted on your family and Anja.. Linda from Michigan, USA
    1958 days ago
    So so very sorry. It is so very hard to lose our loved ones. Prayers for your sister and for Adrian and Aithley's parents. May you find peace.
    1959 days ago
    Adrian, I have to echo all the others that have posted on this blog before me. Aithley has a wonderful brother and family and I know that she would be cheering you for keeping us informed. I continue to pray for her, Anja, your family and friends. Aithley is no longer physically on Earth, but she is very much with all who knew and loved her. As long as one of us remembers, she will never be gone.

    Hugs and Godspeed on your journey to Cape Town.
    Leader of Wave Runners~Changing Tides
    1961 days ago
    I didn't know her until a SparkFriend told me about her and what happened. I can see she was a star to all who knew her and it's because she had a good family. I am sorry you have to go through this, but it proves you loved her.

    I wish you peace and knowledge that she is in a better place. emoticon emoticon
    1962 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/4/2012 9:08:44 AM
    Thank you for the update - we really appreciate you taking the time to do this. We really miss her too. We'll be praying for your family and Anja to get through this.
    God bless all of you.
    1962 days ago
    1962 days ago
    No wonder Aithley spoke so highly of you Adrian, you are just as kind and caring as she was. Thank you for the update. I feel her spirit is still with us and will somehow go on. She made a difference to many and they will always have that in their hearts. Please keep us posted about Anja. Love to you and your family during this difficult time. emoticon
    1963 days ago
    Thank you for letting us know what has gone on. We miss her so much. emoticon
    1963 days ago
    Thank you for your update...have left my candle and a prayer for peace that will spread throughout our world and capture our spirits to prevent any further tragedies.

    1963 days ago
    Thank you Adrian for the update. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We have started a "Random Act of Kindness for Aithley" thread on our team in her memory. She did so much for others that I think she would be pleased we are taking up where she left off.

    Godspeed to you in your upcoming travels.
    1963 days ago
    Thank you Adrian. I will continue to pray for Anja and all of you! Peace be with you! emoticon
    1963 days ago
    Adrian, thank you for the update. I am keeping Anja in my prayers along with you and your family.
    1963 days ago
    emoticon adrian i can only imagine how hard it must have been for you writing this.thank you for the information it os much appreciated.i will check out them links later as i have to pick my son up from nursery.keep our family still in my prayers . emoticon
    1963 days ago
    Adrian thanks so much for posting the update for us ! We are so glad to hear from you and know that your family is in our prayers and wish I could hug you in person !


    1963 days ago
    Thanks so much for keeping us updated. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
    1963 days ago
    My prayers are with you and your family.

    Your sister's memory continues to inspire me
    and keeps me from giving up.

    She truly made a difference for me.
    I will always remember her.
    1963 days ago
    Reading your posts, I hear your voice and kindness and pain. Aithley was fortunate to have you for her brother. You are very thoughtful to come here and keep us informed.

    if you ever wish to join SP in your own right, please give us your name. You will have many friends from the moment you join.

    1963 days ago
    Thank you Adrian, for taking the time to update us. I still think of your sister daily and wish I had had a chance to get to know her better. Many people on two of the teams Aithley was on commented on how positive, upbeat and motivating she was. We miss her too.

    I'm sorry you have to go to Cape Town to gather Aithley's belongings. I know that it will not be an easy thing for you to do but I'm glad you will be going and not your parents. If you get to speak to Anja while you are there be sure to let her know that there are a lot of people whom don't know her that are thinking about her and hoping she'll recover.

    Please know that all of us who knew Aithley are keeping you, your parents, family and friends in our thoughts and prayers. Keep coming back whenever you want or need. We are all here for you! Thank you again for updating us! I hope that you and your family will be able to find some peace!

    Sending you and your family lots of emoticon
    1963 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/3/2012 5:09:42 AM
    Adrian, thank you for your blog. Again, our thoughts are with you and your family. Myself, I work in international development and I am fully aware of these types of very, very, unfortunate accidents. Please feel free and share with us at any time. emoticon
    1963 days ago
    I am glad you are here and checking in, we miss her as well. You and your family will continue to be in our thoughts. Please do keep us updated when you can.
    1963 days ago
    Please have a safe trip! Once more, may God provide strength, peace & comfort to you and your family, especially during this holiday season! I lost my sister 20 years ago and I completely understand how you feel! Again, take care of yourself & be safe while you go to Cape Town! Safe journey & may God's precious angels watch over you!
    1963 days ago
    Adrian - you and your family are in my continued thoughts and prayers.
    1963 days ago
    Adrian dear.
    Thank you so much for taking the time to let us share this terrible part of your sisters last journey..
    Yes, Sparkpeople is a amazing site and not only do we share our weight lose journey we also share our lives..
    Many of us have wonderful friendships that we have made in the years we have been traveling this road .
    We are such a supportive lot and I am sure we can be of some support to you too ..
    It must be a horrific time for you and your family and I and many others are with you in spirit ..
    Thank you so much for sharing your dear sister with us ..
    Take care on your journey to Africa and I hope Anja is improving..
    Know that our hearts go out to her too ..
    Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1963 days ago

    Comment edited on: 12/3/2012 1:30:09 AM
    Adrian thank you for taking the time to post another entry. I am so sorry that this horrible thing has happened in your lives. You, your parents and friends will be for ever changed.
    Some times we try and look for the good that might come from such a tragedy. It is early days but I hope that something good comes out of this. Perhaps medical equipment could be donated in her name or books etc for the children. Some thing that would honour her memory. Then Aithley could be remembered for her life and the goodness she spread and not the way she died.

    If you would just bare with me for one moment I just want to share something. My parents died when I was rather young. Dad when I was 7 and mum when I was 12. I had to move almost 90 miles from my home to live with relatives. In the years to come I met my husband. If my parents had not died I would never had been in London, I never would have met him and had our three children.

    I hope that you can feel the affection through Spark People and know that our hearts go out to you and yours. Travel safe and perhaps you can give us another update on how you are doing, your parents and of course Anja.
    Best Wishes from Ann B.
    1963 days ago
    Hugs to you - and safe (albeit difficult) journey to Cape certainly have tough days ahead of you! If Anja is awake while you are there, please tell her she has thousands of people around the world pulling for her!! What a tough road she has ahead of her!! I hope her clinicians are gentle with her as they bring her up to date.

    So many prayers and positive energy to all of you!!

    Thinking of you often -

    17 Day Diet Team
    1963 days ago
    emoticon I can only imagine what your family is going through - you sound like an amazing brother too emoticon
    1963 days ago
    Thank you, Adrian! You sister's passing is still on many of our minds and we speak of her often. We started a thread on the 100+ First Step Club this month about doing Random Acts of Kindness in her honor. It's been fun reading what people are doing.

    Thank you for updating us! And may you find some peace in all of this turmoil!

    1963 days ago
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