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Friday, November 30, 2012

Like the David Bowie song :) It has now been a month since I found out bout my husband affair and he has left me for the other woman. I'm ok today, wasn't yesterday. Sometimes super sad or angry. I'm all over the place. I have reached my weight goal but now I have to worry about not eating. Funny how things changed. I started therapy and was encouraged to buy easy to eat foods. I have no desire to cook or take the effort. I bought some frozen stuff. I can manage to cook an egg but I'm still very upset. ran 3.56 miles yesterday and felt good about it. Today it's raining and I'm going to a new acupuncturist. I only sleep about 2 hours at a time because of all this. I used to be an 8 hour sleep person. I'm sure this has contributed to my craziness. I started looking for new places to live. Credit is horrible but my mom is helping me so there is hope. My house has been torn apart for 4 years and my husband has not wanted to put it back together ( he is a contractor) so I don't see the point in staying in a complete mess without ceiling and much heat for another winter. Things are still a bit bleak but at times I see light :) Hopefully this bad week is coming to an end and there will be a better one. So my goals are to eat regularly, work , and exercise. I have another 5k ( will be my second) on dec 9th. Would love to get my time down. It is still so painful to know that the other woman is a runner and has signed up for all the races I have. She has not shown up yet and I don't know what I will do if she does. Enough said, time to move forward
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    My heart is going out to you! I left a marriage 7 yrs ago, and ventured out to a life of being a single mom. I had relationships after that, which were also abusive, and have had my fair share of struggles. 7 years later and it still has the ability to piss me off, but even worse is at that time I went through the same thing you are going through... I couldnt eat, didnt want to eat, didnt want to cook... And that became habit... Not only habit for me, but it really seemed like an inconvenience to just take out one chicken breast to make a supper for me and my 2 small daughters, so it was a life of open can-dump in bowl- heat in microwave-voila! meals for my children... oh the bad habits I instilled in them :( I knew I needed to eat more, even now, but the actual thought of putting something in my mouth made me feel sick. I basically ate to live... BARELY! Now dont get me wrong, I didnt not eat because I thought I was fat... I was sad and depressed and then it just became habit to not eat. When I found Sparkpeople, the first day I tracked what I ate (which was my normal amount) and found out I had been living off about 200-300 calories a day for a very long time. My challenge these last 2 weeks has been to EAT! Ill figure the rest of it out later...

    Keep remembering that life is all just trial and error... you try, you fail, you try again... in all aspects! I wish you luck and inspiration in the future... Find what you are passionate about and keep it!
    2030 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Sounds like you have a lot of challenges ahead of you. Your husband sounds very inconsiderate of all the time and children you have shared. Hope things improve for you. It sounds like you have a plan, and now you have to work it. You have a new focus now. Good luck.
    2030 days ago
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