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Thursday, November 29, 2012

This site is great. It has been a real motivator for me and it has opened my eyes to many things. I have met a few people on here that I will hopefully be friends with for the rest of my life. In saying that it bothers me to make commitments to losing weight then just to fail or fall of the horse so to say. I keep doing that. Starting out with this I was so inspired and motivated. I was running on all cylinders and doing it. Then a set back here or there and it seemed every weekend was a battle. For those reasons I felt like I couldn't even get going again because the result was always failure or a wall. But even through those times when it seemed the hardest to keep control I was doing better than I ever was, because I was doing.

Lately I commit to doing this or doing that and I feel like in the end I am making empty promises. Like I am letting someone else down and that feeling alone has halted me and kept me from pushing. This last week I have been thinking about all of this and I have come to realize that holding back because of this reason has only hampered others more than let them down. I like to be loud and never shut my mouth and recently I haven't been myself because of the pitiful little person that wanted to hide. I know this is mine to do and that other have theirs to do. It's not easy and in the beginning it was crazy hard but I got back up each day or weekend after "messing up" and got going again. There is a sense of shame that you begin to feel when you tell someone what your going to do and then not do it. It makes you feel like a liar and everyone says that the road the hell is pave with good intentions.

Well I might fail again and again and again but I'm going to get it right sometime but I'm not giving up no matter how many times it takes. Hell with feeling sorry about a week of screwing up or let downs. Giving up is not the answer. Like I said before, I will never give up. I love seeing my friends succeed on here and it makes me want that for myself that much more. I have a great bunch of friends and I love every one of you. I don't mean to make empty promises. That is not the intention but I do make myself a promise. To give my all again and make no promises. Not to let anything get in my way and when I can't control myself, don't give up on me. That is my non-promise to me and letting you guys know it.

There is more out there that I want to do. This weight loss journey is just part of that and the beginning step of where I have my eyes set. Time to take the first step of many and do this again and again and again until its time for another step. I have a simple note care pinned up on my bulletin board in my office that says. What's the next step! If you really think on that one sentence and follow it and never stop then you can build mountains and empires.

Thank you guys for not giving up on me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon giving up is not an option ;-)

    we're in this together for the long haul. there will be good days, there will be bad days, maybe even some ugly days. But we'll get up each day and start again, a little wiser, maybe more (or less) motivated than the day before. As long as one choice is pointed in the right direction of being a better you, you're on the right path and are better for it!
    1986 days ago
    Great post~I think most of us here can totally relate ~you can't fail if you never give up~so keep trying & trying again. The fight is worth it-you are worth it. I had to realize I had to do this for me-no one else-I had to be my biggest supporter & my best friend (which means not giving myself crap when things don't work out or I don't meet a goal etc...) being kind to ourselves is harder then it sounds but very important. I think we'll all feel pressure-even once we lose the weight-we'll feel pressure to keep it off. I had to accept that for me this was not a diet-I gave upon diets-because diets should end & for me this journey of health can't end because I'll be 300+ pounds again. It was about changing my life style slowly. For me I started out taking 1 bad thing per month & replacing it with 1 healthier thing. Little changes added up big over time without overwhelming me. I'll probably always have to watch my calorie range & there will always be a fear (at least I think) that I'll get back to this weight but I just take it each day at a time. Don't let one bad day or a few bad weeks destroy it-brush them off & start again. emoticon emoticon
    1986 days ago
    wonderful post ..i can so relate emoticon its sure been a rough road ..thats for sure
    1995 days ago
    If you didn't feel like giving up and it this were easy, there would be no use for a Spark site. We'd all have model figures and the stores couldn't keep the size XS in stock. The only promise you have to keep with yourself is to keep trying to do better and get better. Like my fav motivational speaker says" a set-back is a set-up for a com back!"

    We're in this together and giving up is not an option! Happy Healthy Friday Friend!
    1998 days ago
    I'm glad YOU'RE not giving up on you. Just keep trying, because I know you can do it : )
    1999 days ago
    We will never give up on you. Ellis! Take one day at a time. Small changes when they become a habit are easier. Walk the path, but realize that it may re-route you. We will be here for you!
    1999 days ago
    Everywhere I go these days I see walls, walls, and more walls. But like a good little trooper, I am trying to climb over each one every day. So take baby steps. Focus on what you are eating for a week without exercise. Then the next week focus on what you are eating and add a 15-20 minute exercise every other day. Then the next week focus on what you are eating and add 25-30 minutes of exercise every other day.

    And don't be afraid to rake leaves and count that as exercise. Or play with your kids outside or toss a ball. Make the exercise something fun. Heck, you can even vauum the living room for your wife and do some lunges while you vacuum (be careful.. this lunge business is harder than it seems!).

    I guess what I am trying to say is that I am getting bored with my current routine and I need to shake it up some. Plus, I am finding it very difficult to exercise after it gets dark - so after 5:30pm, which used to be when I was ripping and roaring to lift weights or end my day in a walk. So I have to shake it up to make it fun again, and you need to do the same.

    Just remember baby steps! You aren't meant to conquer the world in 7 days, so just add one little obstacle each week and it will end up becoming habit for you. I truly hope this helps you out. I just stare at my balance ball and give it a dirty look. I need to do that in the mornings as I know that once the sun goes down and the temp drops 20 degrees that I am not going to want to get up and do it. It's a simple fact that I can't seem to get my head around until I miss the exercise again. But I am workin gon it!

    Hang in there, kiddo! You will be just fine!
    1999 days ago
    You got a keep on keeping on Ellish. We are all rooting here for you, through all the ups and downs. Yes, and we all have them. I don't think this health stuff is ever easy even the maintainers tell you that. So yep, dust yourself off, and get up and go. Do what you can and if you can't well give it a try next time. We are not judging whether you succeed or fail, we just want you to keep on trying and believe me one day it will click for you. I just know it! Take it one day at a time and remember the past is just that past. Today is a new day, and it is yours to take on! emoticon
    1999 days ago
    I have felt exactly the same way before and I am sure a lot of others have too.
    Remember, this journey isn't about perfection. It is about progress. As long as you are trying, you are NOT failing. We all make mistakes and that's okay as long as we continue trying and moving forward after we fall. Nobody is ever giving up on you and
    I am glad you aren't giving up on yourself. You CAN do this! You WILL do this!
    Don't be so hard on yourself. Don't focus on what you aren't doing right or where you are falling. Focus on the things you are doing right. You are still here on sparks so you are going in the right direction. Remember to celebrate the successes and learn from the stumbles.

    Good Luck!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    1999 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/29/2012 10:24:04 AM
    I will never give up on you. I will be here thru every struggle and every success. We all will be. We all in this together.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1999 days ago
    What it the next step? I like that very much. We are all cheering for you, nobody said it would be easy. My advice would to take baby steps. Make little changes that are easy to stick with and go from there. Keep with Spark People as there are great people to help and motivate you. Have a great day.

    1999 days ago

    There is nobody here even remotely considering 'giving up' on you.

    So you shouldn't even consider for a heartbeat giving up on yourself.

    I read a really inspirational blog not too long back by On2Victory. He was writing about his struggles with training and keeping his momentum going for completing an ironman (which is his dream.) He said something along the lines of the most difficult promises we break are those we make to ourselves. Each time we slack up, or slack off, or simply ignore the promises and commitments we make to ourselves we're all pretty good at beating ourselves up over it.

    Worse still, for some of us it only takes making a couple of those slight slips and we're falling downhill.

    We all do it.

    We all struggle with it.

    I hope in the future you learn to be both kinder to yourself and that you find the strength to keep up your journey in every way you want to.

    So proud of how far you've come! emoticon
    1999 days ago
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