Well I have really screwed up these past few months. On the 23rd of September I weighed in at 228.8 and today I am at 239.8. That is 11 pounds. I am not happy. I have been so stressed out and depressed over family matters lately that I have been eating any junk food I can get my hands on. I have been miserable and lashing out. I need to get myself under control and stop letting my youngest daughter get under my skin because of her actions. I have to believe in me and get back on track. I found myself putting Christmas decorations away that I had gotten out last week to put outside. I found myself sitting in a chair crying and feeling sick of what she has done with her selfishness. I am to blame as well as I let her do this to me. My granddaughter came into the room and asked me why I was putting things away. I told her I had lost the Christmas spirit. She gave me a big hug and kiss and told me we would look for it together. I LOVE HER SOOO MUCH. We got other decorations out and started putting them up. I can do this and I will believe in myself and move on past this.
THANK YOU SEAWILLOW I KNOW I CAN AND I AM TRYING ONE DAY AT A TIME TO BLOCK OUT THE THINGS THAT ARE DESTROYING ME. IT IS GOING TO BE A HARD JOURNEY AS I AM RAISING HER OLDEST A BUEATIFUL, SMARTER THAN HER YEARS 9 YR OLD GIRL. MY OLDEST DAUGHTER HAS HER 2ND AND 3RD CHILDREN. A BEAUTIFUL 6 YR OLD GIRL AND VERY HANDSOME 7 YR OLD BOY PLUS SHE HAS HER OWN 18 YR OLD AND 14 YR OLD AMAZING GIRLS. SEEING HER CHILDREN SUFFER BECAUSE OF HER ACTIONS IS HURTING ME BIG TIME. ALL I CAN DO NOW IS BE THERE TO HELP THESE CHILDREN KNOW THEY ARE LOVED AND BE THERE FOR MYSELF. 1971 days ago