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Bitter feelings

Monday, November 26, 2012

Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing.

It is natural to feel resentment or anger when life does not unfold as expected. We consciously or unconsciously anticipated one experience, and we grieve for the loss of it when the universe puts something else in our path. Most of the time, we work through these feelings and they pass. Occasionally, our anger and resentment do not fade and are instead transformed into bitterness. Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain. Yet as unwholesome as bitterness can be, it is also a natural element of our emotional palette. When we acknowledge that it is okay to feel bitter, we reconnect with our hurt in a constructive way and can begin the process of working through it.

The nature of bitterness is rooted in the fact that the pain we feel provides us with a rationale. We may feel that we deserve to embrace our bitterness to its full extent. And to be bitter is, in essence, to cut ourselves off from all that is positive, hardening our hearts and vowing never to let go of our hurt. But just as bitter feelings can be self-defeating, so too can the release of bitterness be life-affirming in a way that few other emotional experiences are. When we decide that we no longer want to be bitter, we are reborn into a world filled with delight and fulfillment unlike any we knew while in the clutches of bitterness. The veil it cast over our lives is lifted, letting light and warmth touch our souls.

Divesting yourself of bitter feelings can be as simple as truly forgiving and moving on. Even when your bitterness has no concrete object, you can forgive situations too. Healing pain can be challenging but may be easier if you remind yourself that you are the only entity truly affected by your emotional state. In time, you will discover that letting go of your bitterness frees you to initiate the healing process and allows you to once again celebrate the possibility of the more wonderful life you deserve.

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    Bitter feelings are so much easier to hang onto than forgiveness even though forgiving and moving on feels so much better on our souls. This was a very hard lesson for me to learn and it wasn't until my daughter was stillborn and I was able to let go of the feelings of hate and anger that came over me following the experience that I realized how fulfilling bitterness and all of the other negative emotions truly were.

    Each day is a gift and we owe it to ourselves to not shroud ourselves in negative feelings. Move forward and let the past stay there, in the past.
    2001 days ago
    I'd have to agree with every one of you. Remaining bitter over something someone has done is only detrimental to ourselves. In being wronged or feeling we have been wronged the other person may never even know and are totally oblivious that they have trespassed on our egos and moved on with their own lives.
    2006 days ago
  • DIANE7786
    The interesting thing about bitterness is the person holds on to negative emotions for years, even a lifetime, even though it wrecks havoc on their emotions and can cause physical problems. The person they feel wronged never feels badly about what they did, often because they see the situation differently and don't think they did anything wrong.
    2006 days ago
    The Christian apologist and writer of much of the New Testament put it this way in his letter to the church in Ephesus : "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." And the writer of Hebrews says : Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled..."

    I've heard it said that our difficulties can make us bitter or better - the difference is the letter "I" - when we become self-centered and selfish instead of taking a different perspective.

    I prefer to make lemonade when the world hands me lemons! Shel

    2006 days ago
    We become what we are constantly exposed to so harboring bitter feelings can o0nly result in becoming a bitter person. Sure, sometimes bitter feeling are the only answer but they must be put aside as soon as possible so that we can think good thoughts and get on with our lives, after all, this is a day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!

    Make Today a Great day!
    2006 days ago
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