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No Progress Is Still Kinda Like Progress

Thursday, November 22, 2012

My weight hasn't changed much since August. I've actually gained a pound or two. I'm still not weighing myself, but I did catch a glimpse of my weight at the doctor's office last week -- I was 150 while fully clothed and after eating a couple of meals. I haven't been exercising as much, and my eating hasn't been so great either, so I'm not expecting big results until I really buckle down and change my diet.

However, I am excited about one thing -- my size is stable for the first time ever. I haven't bought "nice" clothes in years and I always have multiple wardrobes in varying sizes in order to accommodate my yo-yo dieting. This is embarrassing to say, but until this past year, I had never worn the same size clothing for more than three months straight. I've almost never worn out a piece of clothing. I always get rid of my clothes after not being able to get into them for a while. From a very young age my weight fluctuated a lot -- I was ALWAYS either gaining or losing. It's actually kind of nice to be stable, and I'm close enough to my goal that if I buy certain styles of clothing I know they will still fit me even if I lose 10-15 lbs.

I am slowly getting over my anxiety over shopping at stores that don't have a plus-size line. Even though I am well aware of my size, I imagine that if I buy clothes from (or even enter) a "regular" store, that somehow I'll magically gain 50 pounds in five minutes and nothing will fit. I'm probably five pounds too heavy to get into a size 8, so this anxiety is getting a bit ridiculous. I bought some size M tops from Victoria's Secret and they fit nicely! I can't weight to get more clothes without feeling compelled to shop at thrift stores or Ross because I'm worried I won't be able to wear my clothes for more than three months.

I'm still 15 lbs above a healthy BMI, and my body fat, while lower than one would expect for someone my height and weight, is still higher than I would like. I may not be able to get all the way down to 130, but I should be at a healthy body fat percentage in the mid-130s.

I'm getting there slowly, but I'm okay where I am.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CATS_MEOW_0911
    Yay for maintaining a stable size and getting to shop at "regular" stores!
    1992 days ago
    You're amazing! You've come so far and you WILL get this DONE. Enjoy the journey! Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.
    2001 days ago
    that's awesome that you are maintaining for a couple of months now as oppose to before, that is a big improvement. emoticon
    2001 days ago
  • BILL60
    Hang tough and "Do It".
    2006 days ago
    I have a great wardrobe right now because I've been around the same weight for over two years... but I would like it to get too big! ;)
    2006 days ago
    Happy Thanksgiving Juliana!! You can do this!
    2007 days ago
  • EUEK098
    emoticon , you can shop without the fear, you worked so hard to get to the point you're at, try your best and you'll be used to your new body in no time.
    2007 days ago
    I think maintaining like that *is* a really good progress step. Especially if you've been dealing with injuries like you have!
    2007 days ago
    You will get there!! WE will get there!!! Happy Thanksgiving! emoticon emoticon emoticon We can't give up! We HAVE to emoticon !
    (Yes, I needed to pep-talk myself too) :)
    2007 days ago
    I know I am having a lot of the same issues right now. I walk into stores and I don't feel like I belong there. My first time in American Eagle, I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack! I swore the sales people were looking at me questioning if I belonged there.

    I still haven't had the courage to buy anything from a "skinny" only store. Most of what I am wearing now has come from places with mixed sizes, but that is also because I don't want to spend a lot of money since I still have about 25 pounds more to go.

    I think you are doing a wonderful job!

    The change in the weather (At least in Pennsylvania) has made my daily bike rides few and further between and I now find myself going to the gym a lot more. Don't worry, you will find an awesome groove that works for you!

    Keep up the awesome work!!!!!

    2007 days ago
  • ZRIE014
    you can not let it get you down. keep with the goals and keep working to meet your goals emoticon
    2007 days ago
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