Some guidelines for when you have a head injury...
Sunday, November 18, 2012
I am trying to make light of the fact that I am so accident-prone, so please laugh along with me (it hurts my head to laugh, so I must be a masochist, right?!)
1. I don't have to use spell check as anything I type is going to be messed up anyway.
2. I don't have to be careful of standing up too fast... my head might explode anyway.
3. Tracking my food in advance doesn't work because I REALLY don't remember how good that chocolate frosting tasted last night! (I really don't! But I did eat 2 teaspoons.) So always check your local garbage can for what you REALLY ate!
4. I don't have to take my sleepy-time meds as I am tired ALL the time anyway. Woke up to a UN meeting in my bedroom - oh, that as the German channel on my TV when I briefly awoke this morning! Why was I watching the German channel? Or was Max watching TV?
5. I can't focus on one thing for too long, so when I went walking I got tons of gardening done. I forgot I was supposed to be walking and ended up cutting down more oak saplings from my blueberry bushes. Did more gardening than walking, I believe.
6. It's so funny when I dream that I am talking to Max and he talks back. We had a great philosophical debate regarding boxers vs. briefs in my dream last night. He said he would rather go "commando". LOL
7. When you get caught doing something wrong you can say, "No, I wasn't! I am not even here right now! Oh, I am! how did that happen?"
8. Don't let your family know you have a head injury. They may feel sorry for you and try to get you to talk about it... even though you have forgotten you've had the head injury because you have hurt yourself so many times SINCE THEN! (My hands look like I washed them with a cheese grater.)
9. If someone offers to make you food, take them up on it. If YOU make the food it doesn't taste as good as what they would have made you. Honestly, don't cookies made by someone else taste better because you didn't have to make them?
10. If you make a HUGE mess in your parent's bedroom while they are out of town, make sure you have someone else check the room to make sure it is clean before you announce you cleaned it yourself. I left a BUNCH of paint scrapings on my mother's favorite chair, but absolutely NONE on the floor. Di had to point it out to me this morning. And it was SO obvious!
And just remember - if you can - that just because you have a head injury you are not allowed to be on ladders, as you have clearly forgotten your fear of heights... until you've gotten to the top and have frozen while you look down and say "How the hell did I get up here?"
Thank you all for playing along with me. I am actually feeling a little bit better, but I honestly have not slept this much during the day since last year when I was so depressed I didn't shower for 4 days! But I seem to wake up before the sun rises - except today. The German channel made my head hurt early this morning as I could not understand a word Robert DeNiro was saying, and it was so loud! So I turned the TV off thinking I was in pretty bad shape. When I woke up at NOON, I turned the TV on and the truth was revealed to me... Max WAS watching TV at night!
Peace, Love, and German-speaking Dogs,