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Things are going backwards, trying to stay positive but....

Friday, November 16, 2012

I was off SP for at least a couple of months during my kitchen reno and managed to gain back the 6 pounds that I painstakingly lost. Being a positive person I thought to myself that I had temporarily gotten off track and decided that I would jump back on the bandwagon and start over again. After all, what choice do I have? Either move forward and start again or do nothing and keep on gaining.
Here's the hard part. I was slowly losing when I first joined SP back in May of this year while I had my daily calories set to between 1300 and 1500 a day. It took me 4 months to lose about 6 pounds. I thought to myself that slow and steady wins the race. I was ok with the slow loss as I was making progress. This time I decided I would scale down to a max of 1300 cals per day and it appears that I am actually gaining. I have been getting on the scale each morning and finding that I am up about a pound a day. This morning I am up 3 pounds from my heaviest weight ever! Again, being a positive person, I am trying not to beat myself up. I am asking myself what am I doing wrong? Could it be a particular food that I am eating? I did go above my calorie range quite a bit one day so maybe it's water retention?? Is it that time of the month, no, not yet, I am two weeks ago. Is it premenopause? What is going on with my body? I am such a healthy person. Or am I? Then, I second guess myself. Maybe I'm not as healthy as I think. Maybe I am delusional and think that I am tracking the right portions but am actually eating a lot more than I think. Now that might be a possibility as I am mostly eyeballing my portions.
I can see how easy it is for people to just want to throw in the towel. All this effort, all this tracking and feeling hungry and my weight goes up, not down. I could just scream in frustration. I looked up my height and BMI and I am now officially in the type 1 obese category. I am in a bit of shock as I have always thought of myself as a relatively thin person. This can't be happening to me. This is not me, this is not my body. It shouldn't be so hard. I am sharing my thoughts with you because it feels a little better to get it out and get it out there. I really don't feel like myself. This extra weight doesn't belong on me all around me. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I don't recognize myself anymore. Well there, I said it all.
I don't want to leave things on a negative note and I don't know what's wrong. Like I said, it could be a bit of portion distortion and having said that I will start measuring my food again to see if that makes a difference. I am not giving up. I am going to forge ahead and do my best to make healthy choices meal by meal. I am going to try to be ok with the times that I feel hungry and not panic when I don't have something to eat close by.
Thanks for "listening" and being there. It's nice to know that there are other people on this journey who may be experiencing the same frustrations. I am holding on to the thought that regardless of what I am experiencing with respect to my weight loss today, I am going to find the key to the eating plan that works for me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1979 days ago
    It can definitely be discouraging. Try something different as far as exercise. Tracking food and watching my portions is what keeps me honest. Just don't give up!!
    1982 days ago
    I know exactly what you mean! I had a plateau that lasted for a month - it was awful. But I got through it with the help of Spark friends and patience with myself. I agree with both comments to your blog.
    I have had to readjust my fitness a few times, which changed my calorie range. I got busy in my yard this summer and was getting more exercise than I signed up for. There was a message at the bottom of my fitness tracker that said my exercise minutes didn't match my calorie range. When I adjusted my fitness minutes, my calorie range went down. So be sure your fitness minutes match about how much you are doing.
    Wiping the slate clean could be a good strategy too. Right now you are upset by having gained weight - start fresh. Look at it as the "first day of the rest of your life". You don't need to catch up to where you were in order to be successful. Start a new weight loss ticker - start a new page, if you want to!
    While I was on the plateau, I kept thinking about all my non-scale victories. I have lots more energy, I'm healthier and off one of my blood pressure meds, my clothes fit better, I had done an amazing job in my yard, and, best of all, I really like to exercise. Think about your NSV's. Did you do work on the reno? Are your clothes fitting better? I'm also a slow loser, so I just had to stop weighing every day. I moved to once a week. When it finally did go down, it was 4 pounds! I was so happy, it was almost worth the long plateau.
    Hang in there! That's what makes the difference! That's what makes us real "losers"! Keep blogging and we will keep reading and help you keep your spirits up.
    1982 days ago
    I found that if you go below your calorie allowance, you actually will gain. Your body thinks it`s not going to get more food and hangs on to what it has, called "starvation mode". So don`t torture yourself, stay in your range and maybe do a little longer workout a few days a week. I am struggling also, but I know if I stay in the guidlines I will be fine. Let me know how you are doing.
    1982 days ago
  • MJRVIC2000
    It's time to start a new program and not a do over. Set your goals; know what it will take to get there; then get after it, making lifestyle changes along the way. May you be blessed in your journey! Vic.
    1982 days ago
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