Time for thinking

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Well, it's been some 12 days of this virus and I'm definitely still not 100% better but it's a lot of progress in the past couple days. Still having some coughing, some wheezing, and some congestion - but it's getting better slowly but surely.

I've had some time to think about my current "balance" - I've had a lot of time since any time not spent trying to get through work or clinicals is pretty much idle on the couch trying not to hack up a lung. Somehow this winter semester I need to find a much better balance of health, physical activity, nutrition, and stress reduction/control.

So my nutrition is pretty good. I need a bit more variety to it though. The complete gluten free style is definitely agreeing with me. Trying to avoid the majority of preservatives and additives is no easy task but is becoming easier. I'd like to learn some new recipes that are "whole" foods and clean eating. A girl can only eat chicken vegetable soup and spinach salads for so long.... I'd like to get a bit more away from pop. I still find my blood sugar feels like a "drop" mid afternoon even if my calories are good. But I also find that feeling when I'm stressed or fatigue and I've trained myself that a cold, sugary beverage "helps". I need to deviate away from that.

My physical activity was much improved until I go "busy". Then I made excuses. If I worked, I didn't work out. If I did a clinical shift, I didn't work out. I have to remember that the level of activity required for working is what my body is used to. I'm not going to get the happy hormones or benefits from it. I got my gym membership, now I have to use it! Obviously not right now while I'm having problems breathing but once this is passed - no excuses, get my ass to the gym at least 3x per week!! And although it's bitter cold already, a quick walk outside always does the body good.

My stress level is really a tough one. I'm seeing a counselor/therapist and that's helpful. I'm doing a lot of self-help reading which is good too. A mix of Christian books and psych books like Joyce Meyer's Be Anxious for Nothing and then a psychiatrist's book The Chemistry of Calm. It's about balance. About learning my triggers. About not having fight-or-flight when it is absolutely unnecessary. I'm learning a lot about the impact of nutrition, exercise, herbal supplementation, and relaxation techniques and I want to keep applying those appropriately and accurately for the best results.

My hormones are still a bit out of whack. I've been flushed and having cramps for a good 2 weeks. I think my Depo wore off sooner than expected. I might need to consider doing it a bit earlier. I take it for progesterone level control - not birth control. I don't like using such a brutal chemical in my body but the hormones are one thing I have yet to learn how to regulate normally. I tried this summer with bio-identical hormone therapy but that landed me in a state of utter depression, panic, anxiety, and a hot mess. So for now, it's the answer. But I think with improved diet, activity, and balance - not to mention weight loss - i might be able to turn this around too. I pray so!!

I have lost 20lbs now since the summer. It really makes me feel good. My clothes look good on me. My body is happy with me. I just want to keep up the momentum. But it's not all about one thing - it's still about balance. I still have to contend with school for the next 8 1/2 months. I need to keep working while I do class and clinicals. I still need a life of some type. I'd like to see my friends and family more without being utterly exhausted. There's lots of "me-work" left to be done and I have complete intention to keep at it. There's no excuses - well, no good ones anyways! Even when I'm sick, there's places I can be tweaking, adjusting, and re-balancing. Hoping to create the ultimate balance and the ultimate level of health!
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