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Big VENTING.....

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I have had ENOUGH. I was in tears...and not special thanks to dh consoling me.

I have had two drs in 7 days in more than enough words make me feel like I am a bad mom. That it is MY FAULT my dd1 was and is still sick.

It is my fault she got bronchitis (sp) because dh and I decided NOT to use tamaflu when she got the flu. It makes her physically sicker than the flu itself. She had the flu twice last year and fought it fine with rest. This time she got bronchitis after the flu. She is on a strong rx and is better, but still has bronchitis and has a YEAST INFECTIONS. Which is MY FAULT because I did not give her ENOUGH probiotics. She was getting physically sick and puking her rx....I had to eliminate things to find out what it was....I lowered her probiotics and mucinex and then took the mucinex away, but I forgot...because I have nothing else in the world to do... to increase her probiotics. Now she has to deal with a yeast infection.

The dr wrote the rx wrong and does not have the...sorry getting crude here....BALLS to call the pharmacists and fix the issue. I had to do OTC ministrant 3 but I refuse to use the vaginal stuff at her age. I called my sister who has had this issue with my niece and I am only using get outer stuff and increasing dd1 probiotics to the max I can give her. My next step is going out to by plain Greek yogurt to put "down there" if the cream causes her pain. I just touched the area and she flew off the bed. I felt soooo bad. But she does not "look" red or sore....just "normal" to me...she needs to do a better job washing is all I saw.

Now, is messing up our order for the kids. Dh wanted to surprise the kids 3wks ago with a swing set thanks to his unexpected raise and promotion he received a few months ago. Well one of three boxes never made it to the store. It was reordered and "rushed" out to the store. It was avail to pick up, but they will not release it in the "system" to the store to give to us. they had it in the store 7 dys ago, but now it is not. They have no idea where it is....I am going to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want my kids SURPRISE!!!!

Then my niece is really sick with her blood pressure and had to go off all her rx. She was on a lot: heartburn med, ADHD, asthma, night time med, stuff....anywho, her bp is still high and she is being really bad with my sister her never really learned who to handle or help her. My sister's solution was to up the meds dr please up the meds. My mom who is not super internet savvy asked me to help with research. I did my best and found out lots of stuff. Stuff my sister knows but DOES NOT PRACTICE. Now I am not a great mom I have been told that by to drs.

I will be first to admit I lack in some areas in discipline. I have a hard time to stop what I am doing with the one or two kids who are being good to direct my attention to the one misbehaving. Most times the child is bad because he or she is not the "center" at the given moment. HELLO YOU THREE KIDS, YES 3 AGAINST 1 NOT GREAT ODDS IN MY FAVOR. So, I have to let things slide. Not all things but the not so bad stuff. However, if I or dh ever acted in the manner the one child of ours does or did we would poster kids for abuse.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My dd1 STILL has bronchitis, I know I said that earlier. So once she is done with rx 1 she has to start rx 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! The poor girl is so tired of rx and drs she will NEVER trust me again. And how do I know she is still ill. I took her and ds to the dr today because they both were complaining about ear discomfort. They have no infection PRAISE GOD, but the dr could still here "junk" in her left lung. My ds is fine just needs a saline nasal spray twice a day to keep things moving. Great and easy. Dd1 needs the saline spray was well and another dose of rx.

I feel so bad for her. I am going to make it and order a few games for the ipad she has been asking for. I got her a new Junie B. Jones book, but we had it so I am going to return it and get one we do not have, but because.

I am sorry for venting, but I have no one. Dh just tells me no more going to our back up drs. I need to find a new ped that is closer for us. I have tried really hard not to change peds for 5yrs. She is great and I love her and her staff. I know it is hard to find people you love how love your kids as much. Who are honest and caring, but I can no longer travel 55minutes from home if I-4 is kind to see her, lately, once a week to twice a week with a different kid. I know she understands. I will find a new ped by Friday morning ENOUGH with the loyalty it is my kids health.

I only pray I pick a ped as great as the one I have had for 9.5yrs.

I wish I could vent to my mom or mil, but they have sooo many other problems and my mom is trying to help with my niece....dh has no emotions and just tells me they are crap drs and I have been doing my best and not to listen to them. He thought I have been over reacting with the kids healthy and is happy I took them when I did and got the help when I needed it feels I have NOT done anything wrong things happen. He feels bad his little girl has to deal with the most uncomfortable thing a girl has to deal with in life short of the discomfort from from ripping while giving birth...we do not need to go there.

OH!!!!!!!!!!! Then dd1 got a quick look when we use the bathrooms after the drs office. I told her turn around but she is a kid and saw I had hair "down there"....she was wondering if she will have hair there too one day. I did not lie and said yes but you will get hair under your arm first. I showed her my stubble and she that it was gross. I said to me it is too but each girl or woman has their own opinions and we respect her wishes for shaving or not shaving. She was cool about it and it calmed her down after she pain from the rx I had to put "down there".

Okay I feel better and no longer want to eat out of emotions must want a soy smoothie before bed.

Thank you for getting to the bottom. If you want to judge me go for it there is nothing any one can say to make me feel worse than I did after the drs office today.

OH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would be believe as of 630pm the dr NEVER called my pharmacist back about the rx. I think I said that earlier. In 6hrs the dr could not take the 5min it would take to call and talk and maybe resend the order to get filled before closing time 7pm.

I love you all and now I am going to get a soy smoothie and just sit in silence and hope tomorrow walmart will have my swing issue solved.

PS ~ I am so ready to take my kids out of public school to prevent them from being sick like they have been this year. I mean almost TWO MONTHS!!! I know we will through this but Dear Lord I am almost broken again. I know homeschool is not an option at this time. My mom said it is part of having three kids in school they will bring home all kinds of stuff and now I am three times as likely to have viruses in the house.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I just saw this and wanted to add my *hugs* to the other comments. None of this is your fault, and any doctor or doctor's office staff that implies is an idiot.

    I hope things have improved now!!! Bless your heart (and your daughter's). I'll keep you in my prayers.
    2010 days ago
    It seems to be so easy for some people to point their fingers and tell us that we are bad mothers. (Most of them don't have kids and can't relate to us anyway) I was told that I was a terrible mother several times - once by my own mother and brother and several times by my daughter's ped. It turned out that my daughter was ADHD. It really had nothing to do with me after all but that didn't stop me from feeling like a failure. From reading all of your blogs, I would say that you are a GREAT MOM!!! You do things for and with your kids that many mothers don't bother to do. Please don't take those nasty comments to heart. You know in your own heart that you are a loving mom.
    2013 days ago
    Oh, my, Becky!!
    I am so sorry you are going through all of this! Do NOT EVER let anyone make you feel like a bad mother! You devot your whole life to your children.
    As far as the tamaflu thing- Andrew has had the flu years ago- was hospitalized and never given / offered it. In fcat, up here- i don't know anyone who has even been offered that as an option- so do NOT feel bad for not doing it if it made her sick. And, I SEIOUSLY doubt that not giving her that medicine made her get broncchitis. I have had broncchitis every year for the last 10 years (except last year) and it had nothing to do with the flu or not taking a medicine.

    Andrew gets croop every year....if fact, Monday he was just at the dr's and dx'd w/ upper repiratory infection/croop...and you knnow what- he was on antibiotics twice in the last 6 weeks for an ear infection- neither caused/nor helped w/him getting sick this time. It comes from the cold virus and settles in the lungs....So right now he's on predisilone (steriod cough medicine) to control the cough and gets nebulizer treatments if he goes into a coughing fit- tylenol to keep him comfortable. No antibiotic this time since he was just on 2 and it's the beginning of the cold season. To call back if not better in a few days.

    As the CRNP we saw this time at his ped's office said- 'Tis the season- it's fall, back to school and change of weather- this is to be expected. Plus she said last year up here was so mild we got away without alot sickness going around- not so much this year. She said the office has been packed with children & adults with the same thing for weeks now- upper respiratory infections, croop, broncchitis, sinus infections, etc....

    It is NOT your fault & if your dr's office is suggesting it is- then it is certainly time to get a new doctor.

    2014 days ago
    I feel sorry for both you and your daughter. I used to have the same problems growing Trust me. My mother was the most caring, wonderful mother in the ENTIRE world. She would follow a doctor's orders to a tee and I still got bronchitis (and then yeasties from the antibiotics). You are NOT a bad mom. Kids get sick. It sucks. You tried to do the best thing for her. I hope she feels SO much better very soon.

    It is great that you vented instead of ate emotionally. That is a really great thing to do.

    Keeping you and your family in my prayers.

    2014 days ago
    I'm not sure I could handle all you have on your plate right now. Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.
    2015 days ago
    yep you are such a bad mpther that i would leave my kids with you anytime love.back up dr´s don´t know you or your daughter,they don´t have all the information in their computers about the childs medical history etc like your normal dr would have.i personally think you are a great mom and like i said would trust you with my kids anyday which is sonething i don´t do often because of their health issues.would you believe i once had the police at our door as someone reported me of neglating and starving my kids.the police had to follow it up.what had happened we were out in a playpark and some kids were eating biscuits that zakariya wanted also to eat which he couldn´t because of his allergies.because i wouldn´t let him he made a scene in the pkay park screaming all over the place he was hungry(even though he had a big dinner 30mins before)he just wanted the biscuits as 5 year old do,lol.anyway i invited the police in(good job i had just tidies the place.i had just backed bread and a chicken cassorole was baking in the glad of that i tell you.i just showed him my calender with all zakariyas dr´s and specialist and theraphy appointments.(then it was about3-4 each week)and said if my son was mistreated or neglected don´t you think one of them would have noticed.i also explained because of his allergies he couldn´t eat everything and my kids are always hungry even if they just that second finished eating, your daughter still having bronchitis when my kids get it they can have it up to six weeks or more because they have weak lungs.know you are a good mother.hope this helps.take care and keep smiling. emoticon
    2015 days ago
    Awwww I am so sorry! Great big hugs to you! You are an amazing Mom and you do what you know is best for your kids.... Stupid Dr's! I had a similar situation happen to me this week too.... A dentist yelled at me in front of my 16 yr old. Blamed ME for not supervising his toothbrushing.... thus causing all of the problems in his mouth. I was in tears!

    Hope you enjoyed your smoothie and hope venting helped! It always does for me. Take care and I hope the whole house gets to feeling better soon!
    2015 days ago
    Oh you poor thing!! You are not a bad get sick all the time. My husband tries to blame me, when my kids get sick...but I have learned to ignore him!! I hear you about picking your battles with your kids as I have 3 boys myself. I had to laugh about your comment about the poster for child abuse...yep me too!! Hope you enjoyed your smoothie and got a chance to relax!! Sending healthy vibes your way. Kim emoticon
    2015 days ago
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