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We Fall Down...

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

and we get up again! Never gonna keep me down! So, last night was a fall down. And today I got back up again. Last night, I went into a full-blown binge that left me absolutely hurting. I thought my stomach was going to explode. I don't understand it, in looking back. Why would anyone do that? I don't know. I just get started and it does not end. In running the numbers, I think I was a 10 on a scale of 1-10 on my binge alert monitor. Too bad I did not use it...thinking I could handle a "little something." Yep, wrong. Very wrong. So, I just really need to watch it. I need to use my spreadsheet and see how I am truly feeling before eating and correct things before eating if I'm in the danger zone. Seems extreme...but honestly, extreme was where I ended up last night. Really don't want to go there again.

Today, I have had NO desire for food. I was recovering physically all day. I had a banana for breakfast that I didn't really want. I had a soft pretzel for lunch while shopping...hoping the bread would kind of settle my stomach. For supper, I had the veggie soup that DH fixed. I ended up under for my calories for the day but figure that is probably good today...give my poor digestive system a chance to catch up.

I got a new Wii game today...the Abba Dance game. I played it tonight. Pretty fun. I wanted to do "just one more" after doing each that's a good sign.

I've been reading my past blogs each day. Whatever day of the month it is, I go to that page of my past blogs and read all the entries there. It has been helping me as I am working to get on track and stay on track...and I have been trying really hard not to be discouraged by the fact that I am not where I was before. It helps to read about how happy I was in achieving different milestones which were heavier than I am now. I think the one aha I got today as I was thinking about my journey and my success/lack-of-current-succes
s life has changed so much in the past year. I can see that as I read my past entries. I've changed jobs. My income has changed. My car has changed. My co-workers have changed. DD is now living with us. DS is now living in Colorado. I now have a granddaughter and another on the way. I no longer have a Y membership. It's a lot of changes...that have come by one over the past several months. So, my journey at this time, is not the same as my journey at that time. I just need to evolve in my journey to match where I am now so that this can continue to work. So, that's my aha. I know I can do this. I just need to find what works now...where I am...with what I have...with who I now have in my life.

I'll find it. I won't give up. Hope you all are having a good week. Keep up the good work! Thanks for the encouragement! Spark on! emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Great job getting back on track. You game sounds fun
    1986 days ago
    This conscious eating thing is a tricky business. You are getting so good at catching yourself and getting back on track.

    I love your blogs!

    1986 days ago
    I sometimes have those out of control eating days too. It sounds like you made a good recovery.

    I would love to have a wii for the dancing games.
    1987 days ago
    Getting back up is what really matters. emoticon

    emoticon emoticon
    1987 days ago
    Good for you, for getting right back on track. One of my favorite ideas regarding weight loss from SP is "one step back, but two steps forward" is all you need to succeed. I know the binging urge is hard to deal with, but I really do think you're doing quite well with it - your system for heading off binges is really good, and it's just a matter of time and practice to get used to using it every time you need it. Perfection doesn't happen right away (if ever), so don't worry about the occasional setback. Do just what you did - get back on track, keep a positive attitude, and you will definitely succeed!! I love your idea of going back through your blogs to see the victories you celebrated when you were heavier, and the way you've thought about how your life has changed and how you will have to adapt your strategy to suit your changing life. Really thoughtful and smart of you to do that! I'll have to remember to do that myself when I'm feeling down about my own health situation. Thanks for sharing all this - I know it's a struggle for you, but your determination and commitment through it all is REALLY inspiring.
    1987 days ago
    Give yourself a break honey! That's a lot of changes...& change=stress! We all go through it, one way or another...& just know that, this too shall pass! Life's journey is all about ebb & flow. And we're all bound to be effected, one time or another. We all get side-lined & detoured. It's just your time. Keep your head up & keep moving forward. Don't look back & never give up! And know that you'll soon be on that path that takes you toward your goals once more! In the mean time, we're here for you, just keep us posted on how you're doing & how you're feeling! Trust me, we all can relate! And we all understand! No one expects you to be perfect...& so don't be so hard on yourself! You'll see, you'll come out of this stronger & more determined than ever!!! You'll see!

    emoticon Rose

    1988 days ago
    I am proud of you. You refused to give up and even learned from your experience. emoticon
    1988 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Keep picking yourself up and continuing.
    1989 days ago
    I may not binge to the degree you describe, but I'm very familiar with the phenomenon of doing something I'll later regret, and being aware that it's a Bad Idea even when I'm doing it.

    If you can figure out a way to cure that, and figure out how to market the cure, you'll make a fortune.
    1989 days ago
    it helped me to have some days off , planned. not necessarily binging but eat something I really like and want and not worrying about the calories . I can't deal too much frustration and it's not reasonable to think -I'll never eat chocolate or cookies or other things . but that's me so you have to find your own system. you know what they're saying , it's not hard to loose weight , it's hard to maintain. you're in this maintain phase, even if you still want to loose more. so don't give up , it seems what happens it's normal and I know you can deal with it emoticon
    1989 days ago
    emoticon One day @ a time. emoticon It was one day,,, where before you were here it would have been everyday! emoticon
    1989 days ago
    hang in there, sister! we do all fall down, and learning how to get back up is the best thing we can do. it's a new day. a new chance to get it right. "progress, not perfection!"
    1989 days ago
    I gave in yesterday, too. Work was absolutely awful and I knew I was eating emotionally but I did it anyway.

    Happens to all of us. Keep up your hard work!
    1989 days ago
  • GAMMY98
    Good job of picking yourself up and saying I can do this. So much better than staying on the binge and feeling sorry for your self. We have all been there many times. emoticon emoticon
    1989 days ago
    You can do it Cathy!!! emoticon
    You are emoticon
    1989 days ago
  • PATRICIA4472
    Yep! Getting up again is the key. emoticon emoticon Thinking of you!
    1990 days ago
    DON'T GIVE UP! You can absolutely do this! Many times I eat more than I need to, although most of the time I don't binge much anymore. But everyone slips up once ina while. It's what you do AFTER your mistake that matters. Hugs! Keep on going!
    1990 days ago
    I think that is the theme song for many. I know it is mine. But your up again and that is half the battle. keep going you can do it.
    1990 days ago
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