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Why I Stopped Blogging on SparkPeople...

Saturday, November 10, 2012

About two years ago I was on top of the world- with myself. I was losing weight, feeling great, and it honestly looked like I was going to finally hit my goal. Then I had a huge set back and BLAM, all my hard work and focus flew out the window. And when I finally got out of my haze I was heavier than when I originally started. Now try looking at a great new, smaller, more fashionable wardrobe with a big, frumpy body all over again! I was devastated and with that came the shame, embarrassment, hurt and anger.

Because my circumstances were so different from when I was succeeding I could not come to terms with what happened. All my blogs became depressing, angry, blameable, and shortly after, they stopped all together. Then life, then more eating then more shame and the circle continued.

SparkPeople has been here for me like no other. It has been my solace, my source of joy, my place of challenge and knowledge. So when I stopped reaching out I spiraled in. Into a bad place of regret, condescend, and misery. Until now.

So I am back. Even though I am starting at the heaviest I have ever been, one thing I've learned from SparkPeople is never give up. So I am blogging again. The good, the bad, and life.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • JIBBIE49
    Glad ur back.

    Listen to Richard Johnson M.D. give a lecture on YouTube. He wrote "The sugar Fix" I recommend reading his book.
    2995 days ago
  • SKINNYSTRUMMER
    Wow, what strength! Take it one day at a time and try to forgive!
    2995 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13152755
    I love the blogging feature, even it it's just to post my workout notes. I put something there just about every day and I change my status.

    I've found some really great motivations SP friends by blogging and I don't know what I would do without their motivation.

    I know it sux to be back at square 1 (ok beyound) because I'm right here with you. And will be here for you whenever you need a friend.

    Come on, emoticon and we can push each other.

    Looking forward to getting to know you!

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    2995 days ago
  • PURPLELVR7
    Welcome back, glad you are back

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    2995 days ago
  • HDHAWK
    I am exactly where you are. I started Spark in 08, lost 33 lbs. and kept it off for over a year. I've gained it all back plus more. I keep starting over and failing, but I haven't left spark. I just keep trying. You can do this. You're not alone in losing and gaining. Don't feel bad, just learn from it and keep moving forward. emoticon
    2996 days ago
  • BOBOBOBBI
    Welcome back! SO proud of you!!! You got this!!! :) :)

    Best of luck on your journey!!
    2996 days ago
  • 1_AMAZING_WOMAN
    The same thing has happened to me; the negative blogging I mean. But, for me I notice that when I am spending WAY too much time on the computer I become more and more negative. After all, all that time on the computer means I am giving up a whole lot of meaningful things in my life, especially time being active. But, I am also giving up books I really want to read, getting out more socially, getting re-involved in hobbies I once loved etc.

    So, for me, I am going to turn away from Sparks somewhat, and turn towards those things. And, journal privately, where I can really ferret out what I need to change in my life.

    For me, I will be MORE successful at my program if I spend LESS time on Sparks.

    Amber
    2996 days ago
  • CROWLEY123
    You are my hero! I aspire to be as strong as you are today.
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    2996 days ago
  • REFFIE1
    This is the first step and now you are on your way to bettering your health.
    Congratulations on having the courage to come back and welcome. emoticon
    2996 days ago
  • KAREN608
    Glad you came back. This online community is the best!
    It was a set back but so many of us have them.
    Never ever give up!
    2996 days ago
  • GOPINTOS
    I can so relate. But we are here now and we can do this thing together!! So sit down and buckle up for the ride!!!

    Thanks for sharing!

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    Smile and Enjoy the Rest of Your Day!
    Melinda (gopintos)
    Perfect Health Diet Team
    Country Living Team
    Dr Oz Show Fans Team
    Wheat Belly Team
    2996 days ago
  • -RUBIES-
    I'm sooo glad you are in to win it! You can indeed lose the weight. You have the tools, the support and the know how. Keep pushing! Go ahead, make it happen.
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    2996 days ago
  • CRISSA1669
    Hi, I can honestly feel/hear your frustration with yourself and I completely understand. It has got to be very overwhelming to think of doing this all over again.......so.......don't think about it anymore. You probably devoted enough time and energy to that...so now here you are on it again only difference is you already KNOW you can do it because you've done it before. So whatever worked for you the first time around...do a replay...except for the falling away part...I bet you have learned what to do and what not to do when LIFE/STRUGGLES/STRESS etc come your way. This really is a lifestyle change so while you are implementing the changes in your life to get fit and healthy and strong for yourself and your family, the weight loss comes along with that. I have been at this for 19 months, my starting weight was 273 and now I'm down over 100 pounds...if I let myself think about it too long I'd feel stress about gaining the weight back....BUT in reality, I have made the life changes of portion control and regular exercise so I really don't concern myself with ever going back to 273. So be encouraged, put on foot in front of the other, make more good choices than bad, move your body regularly and you'll get there again!!! Lord bless your journey! :)
    2996 days ago
  • CANDIK48
    Welcome back to taking control and setting yourself to working toward your goals! I have faith you'll get where you want to be! emoticon
    2996 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.