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A friend told me I need to stop losing weight?

Friday, November 09, 2012

I weighed in for my 5% Fall Challenge today - 164.4! 85.6 pounds gone so far!!!!!! I am getting closer and closer to my 5% goal of 162.5. I am also close to my healthy weight goal of 155! At 155, I will have lost 95 lbs total. If I am lucky, I will get down to 150 and have 100 pounds gone. When the time comes, I will make new goals!

I don't talk about my life changes with people in my real life situation unless they bring it up. I don't want to be that obsessed person who criticizes everything everyone else does/doesn't do. Also, I don't want to be the person who won't shut up about my achievements! Only on Spark do I talk about my weight-loss all of the time!

There are a few friends I text that ask for random updates. I texted one today saying I was at 164.4. He said that is too thin & I should stop losing weight. I am 5'6 and the healthy range for my weight is 126-155. I definitely don't think 164 is too thin? I don't understand people sometimes. I didn't want to argue with the person, so I just said my goal is 155 to be at the high end of my healthy weight range... *Shrug* Then I changed the subject! I am not an expert - so I don't have any fancy schmancy facts... but does anyone think I am being unhealthy? I am not starving myself. I try to get in a bunch of veggies & fruits in a day!

I guess I have to remember.... YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE!!!

I really want to be at a healthy weight to be a healthier, happier, more fit person! I am not trying to look good in a bikini. I am not trying to look "hot" to pick up random guys. What I would like is to be a healthy young woman!

The weather is nice out today, and the 2nd half of the weekend is supposed to be nice too! I got offered a promotion at my job. I don't have a college degree (just 2 years of college). I am excited & nervous about it. They will get someone to replace me, and I will be getting new training while training them. I don't know when this will be - but I can't wait!

Although Life is stressful - we can make our own happiness. Good things do come every once in a while. We need to acknowledge the good and the bad!!! Hopefully everyone has a wonderful weekend! Keep Sparking!!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It's not luck that will get you to 155 but it's you taking care of yourself. Great work.

    It's interesting how when we have been obese/overweight people see us as too thin when we aren't necessarily at our ideal weight. I once had someone concerned about me being anorexic at 180 lbs. Imagine that. I think they see us in the light of that heavier person and the change makes us look too skinny to them when in reality we're not too thin at all.

    If you doctor supports your goal then you are doing just fine. Reading your story makes me realize I can do it too. That's important for me today when I wonder if I can really get into onderland. Stuck a bit as weight loss is slowing down.

    2042 days ago
    Congrats to you!! One thing I've's not about what others think you need to do!! It's about what YOU want to do!!! It's all about you!!!! emoticon
    2043 days ago
    Congrats on the promo!!
    If you feel healthy and doc says it is good, then your goal weight is fine. As many others have said sometimes those friends and family have saw us for years at an unhealthy weight. They will have to adjust to the new you. And some are just haters lol, use those as fuel to keep going.
    I like the idea of discussing my WL journey on spark only unless asked. Lately I do feel like I am just constantly talking about it. I will use my spark more as an outlet. Thanks for the ideas and you look great!! emoticon
    2043 days ago
    Sometimes it just isn't worth trying to figure out what people are thinking.

    I say if you feel good, then move on and don't give that friend anymore updates!

    2045 days ago
  • OPTIMIST1948
    Too funny. There is something to be said for not letting the scale dictate how you feel about yourself. But there is also something to be said about "portion distortion" and americans in general are fatter than other countries.

    Congratulations on your many, many, hard earned scale victories!
    2045 days ago
    You are right! You are going for a healthy bmi. Maybe he liked you and spent want anyone else to check you out??
    2045 days ago
    No one gets a say on your goal weight but you and perhaps a GP. People will always tell you to stop because they are jealous. Keep on keeping on!
    2045 days ago
  • MLYN92
    Love your blogs! It was especially nice to read because I am at the beginning of my journey to a healthier me & your story is a great motivator.

    I've lost 11lbs and I feel like I tell everyone all the time, each little goal met is something I blab on and on about. Your blog has reminded me that even though I am proud of my smallest accomplishments the people who love and support me may not need to hear about every pound lost.

    Congratulations on the milestones you have reached along your journey to a healthier you, and congrats on the promotion!

    2046 days ago
    Great job on the promotion and the weight loss!!! Stay true to your goals and remember that sometimes people can behave in jealous and unhealthy ways... You have all the support you need from SP, so lean on it and let the opinions of others be just that -- their opinions!

    Keep SparkLing! You can do it!!!!
    2046 days ago
    congrats on the promotion... sometimes when we are taking healthy steps then good things naturally come our way. the new confidence you have is showing through to your employer. btw you look wonderful and follow your goal for your weight!!!!! emoticon
    2046 days ago
  • LAURA123BB
    2046 days ago
    Congratulations on your weightloss. Keep up the good work and you will make your goals.
    2046 days ago
    Congratulations on your promotion - and on your weight loss! It can feel like a put down or like being judged when someone tells us that it is time to stop losing weight! Sometimes it may be that your friend is a bit threatened by your success or maybe he just doesn't see you as you see your self. Either way - just keep doing what you do!

    2046 days ago
    Sometimes I think people are just so used to seeing us heavier that our getting down to a healthier weight can be a bit of an adjustment for them.
    2047 days ago
    Congrats on the promotion! That is awesome! I don't think your goal of 155 is unreasonable or too skinny. Only you know that and you don't seem to have an unhealthy view of yourself or a need to be too thin! I think your response to your friend was good too. Good for you! You are rocking the weight loss and your life!
    2047 days ago
    Congrats on your promotion at job !! Go for your dream weight and don't worry about what your friend said. Be a healthy young women of your dream !! Go for it !!

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    2047 days ago
    Woo Hoo!!! Look at you go, girl!!! This is your journey, you call the shots in it. In life there will always be others who are critical of our decisions and accomplishments. It's only up to you to either listen or shrug it off. We can't please everyone!! You sound like you've done your homework on what a healthy weight is for you, so I would say shrug it off and chalk it up to either jealousy or a strange kind of compliment. Keep up your great work!! You're almost there!!
    2047 days ago
    People are used to seeing us at the higher weights, so although we look better as we lose they do not see the face they used to

    I weigh more that you, am 5 2 1/2 and am told I do not need to lose more
    Of course I know better and keep working at it
    2047 days ago
    Believe it or not, he was probably trying to compliment you! Think about it, everyone who has struggled with weight would want to hear they are too thin! I really don't think he meant any harm by his remark! Take it as a compliment and carry on~you are doing great! Also, keep in mind that your body will let you know when you are optimum and who knows, it may be at 156! lol
    2047 days ago
    Wow...look at all your feed really struck a nerve! Keep Sparkin'!! You have to work it out for yourself!
    2047 days ago
    Only you know what you feel comfortable in. I am also 5 foot six and my goal weight is 140 because I am small boned

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    2047 days ago
    I love your colourful toenails!
    Friends can be strangely discouraging sometimes. I think you just need to do what you did - shrug it off and keep going until YOU feel happy that your body is at optimum weight/fitness/tone.
    2047 days ago
  • BISCO_
    Gotta do what's right for YOU!!

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    2047 days ago
  • SH9719
    I had a very large fellow ref in a locker room tell me I was skinny the other day. I just crossed over from an obese BMI to overweight. I know I am not skinny. I think that today there are so many over weight and obese people that the standards for what is considered skinny have been inflated. I suspect that is part of your friends perspective. It is probably partly due to ignorance as to what is healthy and what looks ok on you. I think your motivation to weigh less for you health is the best motivation.
    2047 days ago
    Well, I don't tell people my weight outside of SparkPeople. I only have maybe two people in my life who know with any kind of accuracy what the actual number is.

    However, when I got to about 240, a friend of mine told me that I really did not need to lose much more...maybe just 10 pounds or so. I am tall and have a HUGE frame size, but no, 230 is not a healthy weight for me. :)

    I took this comment as loving--she saw me as very nearly perfect, even a good 40 pounds from my goal weight. It was quite sweet. The friend who said this probably weighs 110 or so and is TINY.

    The people who really care about us don't necessarily see us with clear lenses, for better or worse. It isn't always easy for them to accept that we are changing or to give us accurate feedback on how we are doing.
    2048 days ago
    Congratulations! On your weight loss that is soo amazing! I am also 5'6" right now I weigh 164lbs my goal is 135 lb. I really don't tell people how much weight I have left to go because people think I am crazy!

    I have been at 140 lbs before, and I was eating massive amounts of junk food, I am not that person. Now I eat super healthy so 135lb should be well with in my reach.

    I think we have gotten soo used to people being over weight now, that "healthy" is the new "twiggy"

    Ultimately you need to do what feels right to you and your body type. As long as your happy others comments shouldnt matter, because there will always be the majority that will tell you how amazing you look, and the few that say "you're too fat" or "too skinny"

    Be happy, Be healthy :)
    2048 days ago
    First of all congrats on your achievements.
    Remember, you are on this journey to better yourself and not anyone else. It is great to have friends who seem concerned, but the only person who matters is you and how you feel. Also remember that sometimes, people can be jealous and or uncomfortable in their own skin so they subtly try to discourage people like us who try to live healthy lifestyles.
    Keep doing you!!!
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    2048 days ago
    Ugh that's stupid. I hate when friends are like that!!!!!
    Is that too negative? haha.

    The problem in the US right now is that overweight is the new normal, but it's still not healthy. You're not crazy, you're doing a good thing

    And, I'm sure everyone has said this, but I like your nail polish job haha... and I couldn't see the scale at first! haha.

    Keep going, you're doing fantastic.
    2048 days ago
    Cute toenail polish!

    I think overall we (The US, the Western World, whatever you want to call it..) has a very skewed perception of weight. Your freind may have a hard time visualizing that number! I imagine the only people that have a good idea of what numbers look like on people are those barkers at carnivals that offer to guess your weight :P We all know how awesomely "accurate" the BMI scale is, but I really do think it's good for ballparking a healthy weight. You have a goal in mind that is not unrealistic, so I don't see anything wrong with it! Whatever makes you happy, as long as you aren't hurting yourself or other people, right?
    2048 days ago
    You're just fine! I'm about 5'9" and my goal is 155 as well. At 162, I estimate my body fat at around 26%, and I'd really like to see it closer to 20%. Anywhere down to about 148 would be fine for me at my height. I think people have just gotten so used to a majority of the population being overweight or obese that it is somewhat startling to see someone at a healthy weight. You have a very healthy attitude, and I think that you will know when you are the right maintenance weight. A body fat measurement can be more useful than scale weight once you start getting close to your goal.
    2048 days ago
    I was losing weight a few years ago when a female friend said "Be careful, you don't want to lose too much." I am 5'2" and at the time weighed 175#. She would have fainted dead away if she got on the scale and weighed as much as 175#. People just say stupid things. Ignore him.
    2048 days ago
    You do what you need to do for you. I had someone on FB tell me that today and I have 26 pounds to lose just to get to my goal weight of 210 which is what I weighed when i did the body building contest. I have to get down to 189 of lower to have a healthy BMI and I'm not sure I will ever be there again but we'll see. I think some people tell you things like that as a way of complimenting you. At least that is the way I try to look at it. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. Than you for all your encouragement and for being such a wonderful SpakFriend.
    2048 days ago
    That drives me nuts. I try my best to ignore people who tell me I'm "too skinny." Congrats on your weight loss and your promotion!
    2048 days ago
    I think men in their minds prefer curvy women but they don't know what that means in reality. I know he's just a friend but I'm sure he's noticed how you look in more than a friend way. It sounds like he's imagining in his mind you as a skinny, bony unhealthy looking creature. I think it was his way of saying "But I think you look great and I'm afraid of change." Do what makes you feel comfortable. Ignore the rest.
    2048 days ago
    It does not sound like you are getting "too thin." I'm 5'5 and the lowest I have achieved on this journey (though trying to make my way back there now) is 158...and it was definitely not too thin. I think the fact that the comment came from a guy might have something to do with it. For a guy to get down into the 160's is thin. They have more muscle and are more solid than we are...and they weigh more. So, maybe he doesn't have a good handle on what women weigh. Keep up the good work! I think you're doing great! Thanks for the inspiration! Spark on! emoticon emoticon
    2048 days ago
    You are doing so great!

    Maybe your friend just thought (this is a guy, right?) that 164 is too low of a number (and usually, for a guy, it is, since with their higher muscle mass they tend to weigh more)

    Congrats on the job offer! You GO, girl!
    2048 days ago
    Ultimately, it is up to you. But just remember, it's JUST about the number on the scale. BMI is just a guideline to follow, it does not account for muscle mass. So if you are happy with where you are RIGHT now, then go into maintenance! But if you think you'll be happier at 155 (because you'll love your body, NOT because that number will mean you are "healthy") then keep going!
    2048 days ago
    This showed up in my newsfeed and I was curious.

    I am just shy of 5'7", and weigh in at 143.5. Part of that is definitely muscle mass. I look healthy. Skinner than some, but no one has said that I am "too skinny."

    So you are JUST FINE. Especially if you feel fine. Just eat right and exercise regularly and don't worry about it.

    Congrats on your weight loss, and way to go for all your hard work!
    2048 days ago
    Congrats!! And ignore your friend! :-) You're the only one who knows how you feel. If you're cold and tired all the time, hungry, having bad breath (ketosis), and growing hair where you've never grown hair, then you're entering starvation mode and you should be careful. As long as you're able to do everything you want to do, enjoy your life, and still feel like you could lose a couple? Do it!

    When I was in college I got down to 145 in an unhealthy manner. But the reason I gained all that weight back (and more!) was because my boyfriend started making fun of me, calling me a bag of bones, I no longer was pretty to him, etc...Of course NOW I realize that was all his problem! At 5'4" and seeing my pictures from back then, I was not too thin at all, I just should have gotten there a better way!

    Only you can know what's right for you. Just do that and the rest will follow!

    Have a great weekend!
    2048 days ago
  • LYNSEY723
    Don't listen to what anybody else says about your weight loss as long as you are losing weight in a HEALTHY way, you are doing nothing wrong! Now, if you were starving yourself or doing month long juice fasts I might say you need to rethink your approach, but you are being smart about weight loss and just working to get to a healthy weight! You are doing fantastic - don't let anybody tell you otherwise!

    Have a great weekend!
    2048 days ago
    I am so proud of your accomplishments Kimpy, both weight and promotions. Keep it up. Sometimes our worst enemies are the ones who are closest to us. I'm so glad the 5% goal challenge is working. Can't weight myself to weigh in this week. I was doing well then went on vacation and gained what I lost plus then some. Now I am trying to lose it again. I will be happy if at the end of the challenge I weigh one lb less then when I started. I am 5'5" and my goal weight is 135-145. So I agree with the others. TELL YOUR FRIEND TO SHOVE IT!
    2048 days ago
  • NEWNAC304
    What does your doctor say about your weight? I think if you feel good and want to keep losing then go for it.
    2048 days ago
    Congratulations on your weight loss and promotion. Keep up the good work!!! emoticon
    2048 days ago
  • JACKIE542
    You know what you are doing. You know the saying you can't please everyone so you got to please yourself. You look healthy and feel good and that is a plus.
    Congrats on your promotion! You have a great weekend! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2048 days ago
    Is your friend overweight? Just wondering because jealousy could react like that... if not, then who cares what he thinks. I think 155/150 sounds great on a 5'6" frame. I'm an inch taller and I want to be 145. Acutally 138 is the MIDDLE of my healthy weight range.
    Awesome job on your loss!
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    2048 days ago
  • STODD251
    I think 155 is a healthy goal. I'm 5'7" and my goal is 145. However, I think healthy is about way more than a number on the scale. I've been 145 before and it was unhealthy. All I was eating were cucumbers and chocolate milk. This time around, I am eating well-balanced meals and exercising regularly, so if I get to 145 again, I will still be healthy. However, I'm also taking one day at a time and perfectly willing to consider that I might be healthy at 155 and able to stop there. I think you're doing the right thing. 155 is a healthy sounding goal and you did choose that number for good reasons.
    2048 days ago
    I agree with Alicia - tell your friend to shove it!!!

    I don't know why people feel compelled to throw their 2 cents in. Sounds like this person may be jealous.

    Actually, years ago I took aerobic dance classes (Jacki Sorenson), and the instructors had to stay at an acceptable weight to keep their jobs. They would have weekend conventions before the start of each new session to weigh in and to learn the new routines. Anyway, the definition of acceptable was this: 100 for the first 5 feet of height and 5 lbs. more for each additional inch. Partial inches were rounded up, and I have NO idea how strict they were (i.e. did you lose your job if you were 1 lb. over your acceptable weight). One of the instructors told us that they would weigh in at the beginning of the session and spend the rest of the weekend pigging out.

    I know I am rambling, but I recently saw that criteria recently in some other context. For me, at 5'10", that would mean 150 lbs., which may not be doable. For you, at 5'6", that would be 130 lbs. So it would seem to me that 155 as a goal is definitely not too low. Of course, I have never met you, but you look pretty good in your pictures, so I would think that 155 is reasonable.

    You are right, you can't please everyone, so you have to please yourself (from Ricky Nelson's "Garden Party").
    2048 days ago
  • SLEE103
    Congrats!!! and as far as your friend saying that, the ONLY thing you should be concerned about is your health and your health alone so if you've been losing it in a healthy manner, and it appears you are, than end of discussion. and congrats on the promotion too! emoticon
    2048 days ago
    You pick what you want for a healthy weight and leave it at that. You don't have to explain that to anyone!
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    2048 days ago
    Tell your friend to shove it!

    I'm a firm believer in going by how one feels in their own skin. Your ideal weight is the weight at which you feel your best. The number isn't the same for everyone, and it may not be within the "healthy" range on a chart. Every body is a unique organism.

    Do you feel like you should lose a bit more to be healthier? Than yes, you should keep losing. Your body will let you know when you are in the right place!

    And CONGRATS on the additional loss! WOOHOO! When does the 5% challenge end? You are so close!
    2048 days ago
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