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A new attitude, a new plan, a new way of looking at the fat me... introducing Myrtle

Friday, November 09, 2012

Ok... before you continue reading... I must warn you that this may sound silly to many of you, but this fun way of thinking about all this is helping me... and perhaps it just might help someone with some of the same issues I deal with... the Why Bother issue, the low self-esteem, no confidence, is it really worth it? ... those ways of thinking... well... this is how I'm going to fight it right now.... Besides, this is MY blog... emoticon So... Here I go......
Aloha! Renee' here again. The real Renee'. I'm a wonderful mom, a terrific wife, healthy, fun-loving, thin, sociable, enjoy outdoor activities. I'm active, willing to try new fun things, including really learning to surf :) ! I can climb a flight of stairs (or several) with no issues. I can wear anything I like, and I enjoy shopping for myself when I need something new to wear. I am smart, I am pretty, I am sexy! I am fun to be around. I enjoy dancing, and creating art, and writing, and going for long walks on the beach... even if they are crowded. :) I have no problems physically fitting in anywhere! I love amusement parks and pool parks! My husband can even lift me up! I love doing things with my kids and husband, I am confident, self-assured, and truely happy and the joy of the Lord is my strength.
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Then there's another "me" she's the one I see in the mirror, the inner fat demon girl who tells me "why bother." She tells me to give up, that I'm not worth it, that no one likes me because I'm fat and that even if I was skinny no one would like me. She tells me I can hide behind fat... use it as an excuse to stay away. She tells me I should be embarrassed to look like this. She tells me I'm ugly and ain't nothing I can do about it... Then she tells me to console myself with food... and lots of it. She says the only joy I can truely have is found in a donut, or in a large pizza or in any food as long as there is plenty of it. She tells me I'm not done eating until my stomach hurts. She tells all the time to just give up the dieting forever, that it does no good anyhow. She tells me to stay at home all the time, so we can be alone with the food. And if we go out to eat, she tells me to eat a lot because we must get our money's worth... She's always telling me to throw in the day since it's often already blown. She tells me I can't go on a vacation, especially to a beach, or to a high school reunion, or to most social gatherings... what would people think of how fat you are, she says. We don't need to be around people. They just see you and think of how fat your are and talk wickedly behind your back. She tells me I actually prefer to lay on the couch and eat, that it's much more fun than ANY exercise I might think about doing. She makes me feel worthless and hopeless. She tells me she is my only true friend and that she loves me, but she truely hates me.
I hate her. I'm going to call her Myrtle.... So it's time to get rid of Myrtle. I have a plan to do it... I'm going to rid myself of her one little bit at a time... like in a horror movie. I'm going to ignore everything she says and I'm going to chop her up slowly and burn all the little pieces. It's gonna take a while, and there may be days where I feel like I just can't do it anymore, but I will find the strength somehow. I have declared war on Myrtle. There will be many battles... small ones that I'm taking one at a time... and I will beat her. Good-bye Myrtle! I am aware of you and I don't like you. I know what you are... soon to be history!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Bye Bye Myrtle!
    We will be supporting our beautiful friend Renee' in getting rid of you, and I'm sorry to say this, but we won't miss you...
    Do yourself a favor, and go out in a quiet and orderly fashion. Leaving with dignity is the least you can do at this point, after all.
    The only other option would be to get with the program and become Renee's biggest cheerleader and supporter. Then, Myrtle, you might be welcome to stay. Underneath it all, you might be nice... If so, this would be the time to let Renee' know!
    2048 days ago
    Thank you so much for sharing your blog..my myrtle needed to hear it!
    2049 days ago
  • MELRON042900
    Awesome blog! emoticon
    2049 days ago
    Awesome blog!!! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!! Good luck with all your goals!
    2049 days ago
    Hmmm !You have to "Exercize" Myrtle. That is one sure way to rid yourself of her. It will have to be a daily battle to assume control from her. She has all the weapons,with the exception of the most important one,Your mind. Wrestle control of this back and you will win. Dictate to her what you will eat,when you will exercise. How You fell about YOU. Let her know you are strong.Don't just tell her. Word swithout actions are just words.Deeds are what gets results.
    Do me one small favor if you will,read two blogs I wrote. They are old but I think you will find them really fascination. One is called," Welcome toThe midnighter hour" and the other is called"Return to the Midnighter hour" You may have to search my blog list. Read Welcome to the midnighter hour first,then the return to the midnighter hour ( like you did not know that)
    Ah! The destruction of Myrtle she will not be missed. emoticon
    2049 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/9/2012 8:48:53 PM
    I'm so glad you wrote this blog. I feel like you peeled back my scalp, opened up my skull and plucked these thoughts right from my brain. I feel exactly like this sometimes, especially when I have really stressful days. I think, what will change if I lose weight? Will people like me more? Will I be happier? Will I feel different? What if nothing changes? Maybe it's not worth it? Maybe the problem is just I'm a terrible person. On and on and on. I'll be following closely to see if you permanently silence this witch because I want to get rid of my own Myrtle.
    2049 days ago
    Good for you! Myrtle might try to fight back but she doesn't stand a chance! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon You got this!!!!
    2049 days ago
  • LIBRA73
    I love it! Myrtle must GO!!!

    Betsy, Dolores, and Myrtle should be very scared!

    2049 days ago
    I love that you named her, I think I may have to do the same thing. Maybe making her more real I'll be able to defeat her easier! emoticon
    2049 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    Myrtle, Dolores and Betsy can just go ..... themselves. Good for you naming her. Here's to getting rid of her one small piece at a time!
    2050 days ago
    DEATH TO MYRTLE! I love it! Yes, that is a great way to look at it. Time to kick her to the curb!

    You are beautiful! You are wonderful! And you are loved and wanted!

    2050 days ago
    Girl, I'm right behind ya! Byebye Myrtle!! It sounds as though we both had epiphanies today!! Live the blog! I know you can do this!
    2050 days ago
  • NEPTUNE1939
    Great blog. LOL - here's to defeating Myrtle! (No offense to my aunt Myrtle) emoticon Excess fat really is the enemy - we just need to learn to stop being a traitor to ourselves and put an embargo on on excess calories. May God bless your efforts, Earl
    2050 days ago
    Good for you. Listen to the first person. emoticon
    2050 days ago
    Yay!! You got this Renee!!! Myrtle will be evicted!! I'm gonna commit and be right there with you!! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2050 days ago
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