100,000-149,999 SparkPoints 144,296


Friday, November 09, 2012

After a few years of up and downs….. I got it right…. Eating healthy, exercising, feeling good about life. Lost 65 pds so far and going strong. Had absolutely no trouble turning down desserts, junk food, I prefer the healthier foods. I was truly enjoying the person I have become….. a few incidents occurred, Mom in hospital a month, dealing with father in law developing Alzheimer's, it did not matter. Everytime, I reached for those cut up veggies in the refrig instead of a cookie or ice cream. I was strong… I was very close to achieving my goals…. Heck… I was so much in control of my life, on November 2, 2011, I posted a blog NO LONGER AN EMOTIONAL EATER…. Nothing could stop me now…
I was wrong….
July 17, girls night out. Triangle friendship of 3 best friends for 42 years. Dorie, Rosie and myself.
Rosie complained she could not eat any appetizers, had hard time swallowing.
Went for test…. Stomach cancer.
While we waited for Doctor to decide best action plan to get rid of it, we focused on pleasant thoughts. How we were going to have play dates with our grandchildren next summer, as Rosie was waiting on her 1st grandbaby to be born. Talked about her daughter should be getting married next year since her boyfriend from high school is getting ready to get his doctorate degree in May 2013. Just kept positive happy thoughts.
On the 3rd try with radiation, she was admitted in hospital. Never came out. Died Oct 3, exact date I lost Dad 21 years ago.
Day before she died, she was still able to look at us and say “Love you guys”, “Love you too Rosie…”
She was a very private person. She would not let us tell any of our school friends that she was sick. That was so hard to do, but we had to respect her wishes.
Been over a month, still very surreal to Dorie and me.
As of last week, I have tried to get it back under control. I wrote up a list to remind me why I MUST move forward and stay on track:
1) Rosie would be upset to know she is the reason I am gaining weight back.
2) I love telling people about Sparkpeople when they asked me how am I losing the weight.
3) I feel better eating healthier foods.
4) I love having more energy for my 3 year old grandson Sam.
5) I love the way I am looking slimmer in pictures.
6) I loved being in control of what I eat.
7) It was great getting into my size 8 pants after so many years.
8) I believe in the words I write to SP new members. “YOU CAN DO IT”
9) I truly don’t enjoy sugar as much, I love taste of healthy foods.
10) Weight gain won’t bring back Rosie.

I am doing better, but truly one of the worst chapters of my life.
One last comment:
SPARKCOACH SPARKCOACH SPARKCOACH I truly believe I would have done a lot more damage if I were not a member of Sparkcoach!! I love my Sparkworld, but I am so grateful for Sparkcoach. They would encourage me to try to do better each day. I had a Coach send me a personal message that she is keeping me and my friends in her prayers. That meant so much to me! No matter, if I had 3,000 calories a day, or 1500 a day. THEY WERE THERE WITH ME cheering me on when I did okay, and reassuring me I can do better the next day when I had a bad day. Never negative, always positive. A great feature of SPARKCOACH, I can go back into previous programs and listen to them again. I WILL BE DOING THAT! I know with SPARKCOACH keeping me accountable, I will not give up. I will soon be totally back on track and I will reach my goals.
I love my Sparkworld, very grateful for my Sparkcoach, and feel very blessed for all my Sparkfriends.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    So sorry to hear this! emoticon I know you will get right back to doing what is right to take care of yourself. This was a blip. You are strong.
    2035 days ago
    Becky! I'm so very sorry for your just goes to show that we need to LIVE every day we can because you just never know what is around the next corner of life! You will prevail, my friend! You're my hero!!!! Stay strong - you are right - your friend would be very upset if she knew that she caused you to gain it for her!
    2045 days ago
  • JOYFUL711
    I am so sorry for your loss.

    I am also am emotional eater, and even though I have lost a whole lot of weight, that aspect of my personality will be something I fight for the rest of my life. It is so easy to fall into unhealthy habits. God Bless you dear, and may your heart heal.
    2045 days ago
    Hang tough!

    Emotions are a tough thing to deal with. I'm sorry to hear about your friend...cancer sucks!

    I've been eating my feelings for over a year now and I've gained so much weight that it's not funny. I'm trying to make a turn around get my evening eating under control. I hope that you can do the same.
    2045 days ago
  • DEE797
    So sorry to read of the loss of your friend. Sending thoughts, prayers, and emoticon to you, your family and your friend's family.
    2047 days ago
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