An on-and-off pattern
Thursday, November 08, 2012
Clearly there's an on-and-off pattern in my behavior! It seems that Spark People is the first thing to go when I'm under stress, even though I'm literally desk-tied. You'd think that with being forced to be on the computer all day, Spark People would be my friend. Instead, it looms over me like a slightly disapproving Governess, a Governess I don't listen to.
I could go off for ages about what autism is doing to our lives, and how stressful autism is. It's like having a family member who not only doesn't speak your language, they don't want you to learn theirs and they have no interest in learning yours. However, they DO want you to understand them and give them what they want, preferably NOW. I'm not sure through what mechanism this miracle is supposed to occur, but it's not occurring at my house. General disharmony and discord is, however.
The other big stresser has been the election. Never in a million years did I think I could EVER feel this passionately about an election, even back in 1976 when I was willing to wear a dress in 3 degree weather to go to Jay Rockefeller's inauguration as governor of West Virginia. No, this surpasses even that furor, and left me so upset and so worn out when the count was over and my candidate was down that i woke up today with a migraine that expressed it all.
Well, it has only been through the support of my friends, including Spark friends, that I've made it through these last two weeks. I sure thank you, because every time I think it can't get any rougher, it DOES. I've gained back a bunch of pounds eating from nerves and now have that to deal with. It seems a never ending on-off up-down cycle that I truly long to break.
~~That is all. ~~ back to work now.