The Right Time for Me
Tuesday, November 06, 2012
Rats! I failed to log in yesterday, thus ending my streak of 6 or 7 login days. Today is the First Day of the Rest of my Streak!
Last week I asked another SparkPerson a question in an email, and she gave me her phone number and said to call her. Is this a great group of people, or what! I was actually intimidated by the thought of talking to a person, so I didn't call her back until today. Like so many things in my life, I feel I need to wait until the time is right to act. I am more willing to act or react quickly when I am feeling emotionally strong, and stay in the status quo or drop back a little when I am feeling weak. So, I look to all of you SparkPeople to lift me up emotionally.
I love blogging - I feel like I have so many pent up things to share with all of you. But one thing that scares me about blogging is reply etiquette - seems like when I have left a comment about someone else's blog, the author has written back. I have this ridiculous idea that there are scores of you anxiously awaiting my next blog, ready to deluge me with comments. Haha. Sounds overwhelming. I will do the best I can.
I had a good thing going last week - I was on the exercise cycle four days in a row, and was eating pretty well. One of the problems I have dealt with in the past was binging - ice cream and cookies. If there was ice cream in the house, I would eat it, all of it. Sandwich cookies (the usual kind in the house because I have long since abandoned baking - a serious binge there) - I would eat a dozen or more at a grab and not think anything of it. My husband's biggest complaint, other than the shear volume of what I was consuming, was that I would eat the ice cream directly out of the carton. I would anticipate my husband going to bed or off to work or outside so I could eat without him seeing me. I would dwell on restocking the supply, replacing the carton of ice cream so it didn't appear I had eaten most of the previous one. Or, if I had a particularly stressful time of things, I planned a soothing eating fest, and buy "my own" stash in anticipation of satisfying my "needs".
Last week it dawned on me that I was changing: I don't binge, I don't buy, I don't spend time thinking about the treats. I don't know what has brought on this change in me, but I am very thankful that it is happening, and I hope it continues. I'm not a perfect eater by any means. But (and this is really amazing to me) when I am sad and stressed, I'm no longer comforted by my old favorite binging foods. In fact, it doesn't even taste that good to me. I certainly have eaten sweets that have tasted absolutely scrumptious to me, and fortunately there wasn't enough of it to test if I would eat enough to make myself sick.
Eating well and healthy is probably like other things in my life - the time has to be right in my life for it to happen. I keep trying, keep looking for ways to help myself to change, and eventually change happens. I don't know what role SparkPeople has played in this. I just know that I can keep coming back, and I will be welcome as who I am, where I am in life, and there will be a path for me to follow, whether it is a well-traveled path or one I plow out, just for myself.
It's a Great Day for SparkPeople!