Monday, November 05, 2012

I think one of the things that has made me feel like I am in a stasis and can't move forward is fear of failure.

Losing my job.
Not being able to take care of myself monitarily.
Not being able to take care of myself physically.
Being too tired to do something.
If I don't try, I didn't fail.

If our millage passes tomorrow I'm probably okay, but if it doesn't I'm going to be in a position of possibly losing my job come January.

If I lose my job, I won't have enough money to pay all of my bills.

When I was waiting for my neck surgery, and after the surgery, I fell several times and I had a very hard time doing anything. I fear that I will have something like this happen and I won't recover from it.

If I try to work around the house I might be too tired to get much done and then I will have to face my low stamina issues. I have hypothyroidism, fibromyalgia and possibly lyme disease as well, which all sap my energy and strength.

If I don't try anything I can pretend that everything is fine because I won't have any limitations slapping me in the face.

Unfortunately this doesn't get me anywhere in the long run. I MUST give my issues up to a higher power and I MUST do baby steps to get things done. 5 minutes is more than none!
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    "“Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.” -Benjamin Franklin
    2285 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    2294 days ago
    God doesn't want you to live in fear. Turn over all your concerns to Him. He will take care of you.
    2294 days ago
    you can chip away at that fear one millisecond at a time, do very small tasks .then you can go from there. I am sending hugs and prayers for you. I would think talking about it will help . Hugs i do hope things get easier for you
    2294 days ago
    Fear is one of the worst things that can sabotoge you. That and a friend that says one bite won't hurt are the biggest detrement for me. I can honestly say been there done that. So here is a question to pose to your fear. do you like the way things are now? instead of trying to chang your whole life just try changing one thing that is small. Tiny even. holding your head up higher when you walk around. one extra glass of water a day. You do that and it makes sure fear can't win.
    2295 days ago
    "Fear is the mind killer" (Duine by Frank Herbert)
    When we let fear take over our mind it prevents us from acheiving anything.
    You are right, even 5 minutes is better than nothig. Keep reminding yourself of that and prioritise what you need to do then go do 5 minutes of it. You may suddenly realize that instead of 5 minutes you have done 10, 15 or more minutes of it and feel really good that you exceeded your expetation.
    2295 days ago
    I totally understand what you're saying about fear. For me, it's because I haven't worked out in so long that I know it's going to be a struggle. I've gotten through it before and know that I can, problem is that my mind doesn't believe it. I hope that both of us can overcome all of our fears, especially about the uncertainty of the future.
    2295 days ago
    I really do understand how things outside of your control can put you in a position where you just want to curl up and be left alone until these things are worked out. Unfortunately we can't do that because it's not healthy for us physically or mentally. All you can do is the best you can do and take it one step and one day at a time. I know that the Hypothyroidism can sap your energy as well as the other 2 you mentioned on top of that. Just do a little bit of cleaning here and there, say in 10 minutes intervals.

    I hope your job will be safe. If the mileage thing doesn't pass can you start looking for a job in case you don't have a job in January??

    I hope everything works out for you!

    emoticon emoticon
    2295 days ago
    Baby steps are so important. You can do it. emoticon

    I feel for you as I have fatigue from a few sources. The kicker is that if you don't move any, you feel even more tired. Just moving a tiny little bit will help a lot, and then when you are used to moving more, you'll have good days where you can move quite a bit, and not so good days when you cannot move much. The thing I am working on is to try not to feel like I am a failure on the days when my body needs more rest.

    Don't even worry about how much you get done--just do a small task. On better days, I will do a small task once every hour; hence I rest 50 minutes out of 60. I then jump up, do a task, and then run back to rest again. I can get a lot done in those days.

    I am hoping that all goes well for you.

    2295 days ago
    I know how you feel, I have Fibromyalsia, Hypothyroidism and Chronic Fatigue. My doctor (checks my blood every 3 months) also found that I am low on Vitamin D, therefore he prescribed that I take 1000 UI D-3 daily and a complex B vitamin. It has helped me more with depression than any other Rx I've been given.

    I feel better when I do arthritic water aerobics at the local fitness center. It helps to have others to talk with.

    When I exercise at home I start with 10 minutes and usually end up doing more, do things you like to do. I love to dance. . . . . . . You just have to start somewhere.


    I even clean my house by starting with 15 minutes. It surprises me how much I can do in a short amount of time. I love that FlyLady too!

    I'll be praying that your job will not be ending. Blessings on you and your family. Hugs, Rita

    2295 days ago
    2295 days ago
    FlyLady to the rescue again, maybe? "Fear is the opposite of love..."

    2295 days ago
    I can't do anything for your stress or anxiety. I've lived through both at very high levels, I wasn't ready for it and it wasn't pretty. I'm undoing that damage now. As for your thyroid, I have found through experience that soy products, like Vegetable oil, play merry hell with my thyroid function. Perhaps checking the lables of what you normally eat and trading for non-soy alternatives will help you. Good luck.

    You can do this, and you are worth working for. Remember to be patient with yourself, you have a lot on your plate. emoticon
    2295 days ago
    Wow, that's high anxiety, Ashaixim. Have you looked into taking a temporary anti-anxiety med, to help you stomp the anxiety down to a level you can deal with.

    The "eat an elephant a bite at a time" story seems to be popular right now. It sounds like you're overwhelmed and trying to eat the whole elephant in one meal!

    Fibro and Hypothyroidism are rough things to have. Break you cleaning up into small chunks--not even 15 minutes at first, like Flylady suggests.

    Can you look for a job while you're waiting to hear about the one you have? That's miserable!
    2295 days ago
    quote from Corrie ten Bone " Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to an all-knowing God"
    2295 days ago
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