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No its not the easy way out!!!

Sunday, November 04, 2012

over a year ago i had a rny gastric bypass. and i loss so many friends over it. i had tried everything else. i was at deaths door. the thought of even walking to the bathroom with out my fiance 2 steps behind me scared me. i was a walking death trap. i had so little blood flow through my heart but no plaque or blockages. i did not look as heavy as i was. i have always stored my weight around my organs and i was killing myself one pound at a time. my organs were being suffocated. strangled, heck even smooched. when i woke up i had a new life. but a very difficult one. many set backs. to this day i still have set backs at time. but the biggest obstacle i face is people that still do not understand that just because i am not standing in a gym 24/7 it does not mean that i took the easy weigh out. bariatric surgery is one of the hardest things in life to do and succeed at. and its no joke. i fear failing everyday. i have no friends. no one comes to visit. no invites anywhere. and i am alone. its just me, my fiance, my son and my mom. all in all..each day of my life. i live and breath a surgery that was suppose to ave my life but instead it sheltered me more. but you know what i would not change having it for anything in this world. cause i make my son smile when i can put him on the bus. i make him smile when i surprise him at school. its worth it. but i can not say that fighting to lose this weight is not hard. and having no support anywhere. no one to call and take my mind off things for a moment. or drive to me or anything. it breaks my heart. so i have returned to sparks...along with my other sites. and hopefully i will maybe at least find someone to tell me good job from time to time. cause at this point. a world of silence is all i know. and if this was the easy way out. i don't wish this silence on anyone.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I am with you on being alone. I too have no friends. Over the years I have lost them. It can be such a lonely place to be. But you have done so much. Write a list of the all the things you have gained, and what you have done to get where you are now. I think it is amazing and I hope your list is a long one. Then when you feel down take the list back out and look at it. emoticon emoticon
    2052 days ago
    It is far from the "easy way out"

    You look great!

    Yes, it is a struggle every day, and unless people have gone through the same thing, they don't know.

    When people tell me that, I just smile and ignore their comments - come home, and rant and vent on my blog and the Gastric Bypass Sparklers team

    2055 days ago
  • CHYNNA81
    I can see how it can get lonely. Glad that Spark is a positive tool in your life and you are right. If you are looking for someone to root you on, Sparkpeople is just the place. Keep up the great work and welcome back to Sparks.

    I am only 19 days post op. I am sure there is a lot I could learn from you. Looking forward to your updates and sucesses.

    Chynna emoticon
    2056 days ago
    I was touched by the loneliness you expressed in your blog. Looking at your page, I can see that your transformation is remarkable. I don't really know anything about the gastric bypass procedure, but I don't think you would have done something like that lightly. Having any kind of surgery and dealing with its aftermath is certainly not taking "the easy way out." There may be many reasons you have lost your friends, but you have your son, your fiance, and your mother. You are a good mom, wanting to be there just to see your son's smile. If you are dealing with depression, things may look worse to you right now. I have heard that there are support groups for gastric bypass patients. Have you explored anything like that? Hang in there! As Kim said in her comment, there are lots of people at Spark here to support you.
    2056 days ago
  • KTREK32
    Don't let others get you down I had gastric bypass the beging of August and I can say also that this has not been the easy way out. Not at all I struggle every day to make the right decisions on what I eat. The surgery helped with the physical but did not fix my head and the emotional eating that I fight every day and to keep myself motivated to work out every day. Give yourself a pat on the back every day for what you did for your self and if someone says to you oh you did things the easy way know they do not know what they are talking about. Keep doing what you are doing and when ever you feel down there are lots of people on SP that know what you are going threw and are here to support you.

    take care
    Kim emoticon emoticon

    2057 days ago
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