40,000-49,999 SparkPoints 46,335

a suddenly ruined life

Saturday, November 03, 2012

After reluctantly moving half way across the country because of my husband's selfish decision to take a job 1000 miles away, AND then finding out he's cheated on me, I AM STUCK IN HELL, with friends far away and no family (mother died and rest of male family well they're busy).
My kids were taken out of a wonderful town and amazing school, where my youngest had incredible help with his academic struggles.
Here my kids are a number in an overpopulated area and overpopulated school.

I need thousands of dollars to move everything back …. thousands to start our life. My husband (but i guess it's me) has thousands of dollars in debt on credit cards that he fraudulently opened with my name and SS number. Bonus.

All I have our my wonderful kids and the love I try to give them everyday. All he ever had was love for himself.

I am stuck in this asbestos apartment with the narcissist because he refuses to leave and what am I going to do, go sit on the street with my little boys?

I really don't know what to do and am trying to hold it together for the kids.
Really sad when I would rather be one of the homeless on the east coast, because at least I know some people there.

extra bonus is all the stress that led up to this move and piled the pounds on me, I have no other explanation. I have done everything but be able to de-stress my life. I am so overweight now that I have severely pain in my feet and am too ashamed to meet people.

Life can only get better? Im not too sure. I'll see if it ever happens.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MYAN1959
    So sorry to hear all of this, my prayers are on your side that it will all get better for you. You have a lot of friends here, if you start feeling down just come on here and your spirits will lift guaranteed. xx emoticon
    2311 days ago
  • HI-NRG
    You need to stay strong. Just like the SP name you choose. You have to think of yourself first. I know that is hard and sounds selfish, but listen. The words do not mean "above all else", just first. Your boys are the most important thing right now but you won't do them any good if you don't take care of yourself FIRST. You have an opportunity to be the biggest thing in their life that they can look up to and aspire to. Take baby steps.

    I haven't been down this path, so other than the non specific advice above, I am not sure what you should do next. Maybe you should talk to someone that you can trust, perhaps a pastor or minister of a local church. You need to start somewhere.

    Please let us know how you are doing.
    Just write a quick note everyday about some good things, like something your boys did. It might help you bring a small ray of sunshine into your life.

    Keep on going. You can do it, you've been a member here for quite some time so I know you know about perseverance.
    2320 days ago
    In order for you to place your name in the "win" column you're gonna have to get rid of the "loser" in your life. If you put yourself first (health, weight loss, etc.) everything else will eventually fall into place. And don't you DARE feel guilty about doing that! Your children need you; getting healthier will help ensure that you will be there for them. It definitely works wonders on releasing the stress! Please keep us informed...and know that we are here for you :)
    Wave Runner Chick
    2331 days ago
  • MISSG180
    Take your kids and go back home. Don't worry about the stuff--it's just stuff. Stuff is easy to acquire, and no one ever went to their grave thinking, "wow, it's too bad I didn't have more stuff to drag around with me." Your kids in the car with the basics of survival should only cost you a few hundred dollars to take back home, where you have friends and a support group.

    Then get a good lawyer and divorce him. Go after him for everything you can get. With that kind of malfeasance, the court should give you a generous child support award. Also talk to your lawyer about getting your credit cleared of the fraudulently obtained credit cards.

    I know it's scary to think about just packing up and leaving, but the sooner you do it, the better for your kids. The stuff we think is so important is really ephemeral--ask all the people who lost their homes in Sandy. Or imagine that you lost it all in Tropical Storm Cheater. Don't let it keep you from doing the right thing. Honestly, it will be a lot easier getting help from your safety net of friends if you are traveling light.

    I wish you the best of luck.
    2331 days ago
    WOW - I really feel for you.

    Are you able to have your husband charged for forgery? - "debt on credit cards that he fraudulently opened with my name and SS number." I would see a lawyer (some don't charge for an initial few minutes appointment but you will have to phone around and ask, OR ask some Community Service Bureau That will wipe your debt, if you can, and make it easier for you to shift back.

    We are here for you - unfortunately we can't help in the physical sense.

    Kris xx
    2332 days ago
    THANK YOU so much for all your comments, they all mean so much right now.
    2332 days ago
  • ZIGGY122
    Okay, you got lemons.... show you kids, how to make lemonade ~ Take one step at a time... show them how to be a loving Mom, take care of yourself, loose the weight, pray, stick it out things will get better don't stoop to your husband's level and give up show them what a loving strong mom they have. ~ you have friends here.
    2332 days ago
    You might think about calling one of the 3 credit reporting agencies (Experion, TransUnion, and Equifax) and see what advice they can give you regarding these new credit cards of "yours." Best of luck with EVERYTHING. Hugs.
    2332 days ago
    I am really sorry to hear all that you are going through. I really hope that you are able to get that monster out of your apt. Is there any way you can sue him for the money since he opened those cards in your name?

    If you need anyone to talk to please feel free to message me.

    Remember you need to join this weight loss band wagon for yourself and to feel better and we are here to support you. :) *safe hugs*. I will keep you in my prayers.
    2332 days ago
    Dear Wallstrong,
    I can empathise with you; I know how helpless you can feel over
    1)Being overweight
    2) a husband who is not acting as he should (my husband did not cheat on me, but he definitely has problem behavior)

    People like your husband often do things like that because they feel like they can do whatever they want, because if you are overweight, you won't risk leaving them.
    As I lost weight I was able to see that I had more strength than I thought possible. I was able to do things that my husband opposed, and I was able to choose (but REALLY CCHHOOOOSSEE) what I was willing to put up with, and what not.

    You are the only one who can take charge of your life. ONLY YOU.
    -You can choose that you will not let HIS actions get you off track.
    -You can choose to go to a social worker and see what options you have.
    -You can choose to find new friends, or stay in contact with the old.
    -You can decide what things you are willing to live with, and which you will see as a "red light" that means that you will get out, come what may.
    -You can choose to learn a skill you may need to support yourself (if the need will arise), get a job, find outside interests.
    -You can choose to see yourself as a worthy, wonderful person,
    Maybe this is not a ruined life, but a chance for you to stand up and love yourself.
    2332 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/3/2012 4:31:25 PM
  • LYNNA1968
    I'm so sorry, are there any services that the school or state/local government can help with? Try to picture Bob kicking your "husband's" butt. That should bring a smile
    2332 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

More Blogs by WALLSTRONG