60,000-79,999 SparkPoints 64,265

Face the truth: you're depressed

Friday, November 02, 2012

I sure am. Well, since my weigh in. How can a stupid number change my mood so much?

The last exercising I did was my zumba Monday evening. I didn't go to the gym, walk, swim or jog since then. Wednesday night I went out with my boyfriend, sister and her boyfriend because we had costume concept (pics coming), and I went to bed really late (1 AM). It's been harder and harder waking up every morning, and I got up at 7:10 today. I usually get up at 5:30 or 6:30 if it's not a gym morning. Ugh.

It's like I became blind all of a sudden. All the progress I made is gone in my mind. I feel back to 205 pounds. I avoid mirrors. When I put my Halloween costume on - I bought it at the beginning of September - it was way better-fitting than when I bought it. And yet this only pleased me for a few seconds. Then I told myself "you're probably imagining it."

I know my blogs are depressing these days, but I can't help it. I feel stuck and ashamed. I don't even wanna see my coach next week. What is he gonna say? I feel like giving up entirely. These efforts are bringing me nowhere. I ate junk this week without even caring. I'm pretty sure that if I weigh in next Monday, I'm still going to be at 160 or 161 pounds. Because no matter what I do - exercise or not, eat well or not - nothing changes.

Ugh, just kill me now. It feels like even the spark cannot do anything for me anymore.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Hang in there. PLEASE do not let the number on a scale define you. I assure you that all of your progress is not gone!!!! emoticon
    1996 days ago
    Hugs!! I'm sorry you're depressed. Please keep Sparking...even if you're disappointed, the support here still seems to help.
    1996 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.