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knowing is not always better

Friday, November 02, 2012

To say that this process of recovery is a headache is an understatement . My weight goes up and then it goes down and because I know the answers doesnt make it any less troubling I find.

I have zero tolerance to medications . I am taking Ibuprofen 800 mg or Vicodin 10 for pain just depends on the pain scale. I also have to take a antibiotic to make sure there is no infection set up . I have Phenogren for nausea . These are viscous to my system .

I take the pain meds and that sets up constipation . The antibiotic is good for vomiting or diarrhea. So then I have to take the Phenogren which then dries up everything ... I have to drink a lot of water during the day as to not dehydrate again and that leads to fluid retention because i have zero way of expelling all the fluid i am drinking .

Everyone says dont worry when it is done then you will get back on track easily .. but I am trying not to do any more damage than necessary and when you get up and weigh and that scales says you gained 5 pounds over night well it is just more heart breaking than anything because then I have to say dont panic you know it will be different soon. I dont feel like i am gaining weight but the scale is not being my friend these days . Tomorrow I have to weigh for the challenges I am involved in and I so dont want to hurt the teams standings . I knew this was going to be hard but I sure wish the end was in sight right now. It is so hard when you know you are doing all the right things and the end is not what you want .. I was really hoping to make 100 pounds gone by 1/1/13 but i really dont see that happening at this rate . This morning i just feel defeated and I am trying to hold on to what i know without giving in to my own emotions.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know how you feel! I have the same problem with pain pills and constipation. I can weigh 5 lbs heavier or lighter overnight, all depending on if I am constipated or not. I wish I could help, but I don't know what to do about it either. But like others have stated, I go by how my clothes fit, and how much easier it is to bend in the middle:)
    2058 days ago
    Hey my friend! I wish I was great with words the way you are. You have an amazing ability to word things to always cheer me up and encourage me to keep going. I wish I could promise you that your journey will get easier, that you will not struggle and that you will heal fast and be back up on your feet in a flash. All I can say is I THINK you are one of the strongest, most hard working woman I have ever come across. Your story and your progress has really played a huge part in my continuing with sparkpeople. I had a rough couple of months and really didnt think anyone would notice that I was gone.... but you did. I know that you will be ok. I know that you will work very hard not to let yourself or your teams down. Just allow yourself time to heal. That is what's MOST important. Heal, get better and your spark family will be here to cheer to all the way to your goal weight as soon as you are up and at it again.
    Lots of hugs and well wishes!!!!!

    2058 days ago
  • CYALE76
    Dont let the scale stress you out, you have been through so much lately and have done amazing. Do you know how many people when they can not be on their feet (or even ones that can be up for that matter) still gain weight and a lot more than 5 pounds. I know its frustrating and you want to stay on track and not gain, but you will get there it will take some time in the mean time I think you are doing great and being ahead of schedule with your recovery says alot about your strong will to get back on track. You can do it, just dont be to hard on yourself. emoticon
    2058 days ago
    Don't just look at the scale for results. Measure yourself. Do your clothes fit better? Is it getting easier to walk around? Look at those non-scale victories as a way to gauge your progress too!! You can do this!
    2058 days ago
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