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I've lost the spark

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

So there I was....having tracked everything I had eaten for the morning. Getting ready to go for a walk outside since it wasn't really THAT cold outside...excited to do a few sit-ups even. Then it happened- an emotional trigger. I knew what it was, but that didn't stop my immediate reaction...I ate...a lot. I went to McDonald's and snuck in two cheeseburgers and a small fry. And then I wanted to cry. I don't understand why I can't get it through my thick skull that things like this are going to happen. I can't let negative comments and feelings get me anymore but they do.

I haven't been doing as much as I could on this challenge, and I know it. I was really trying for a jump start yesterday, and it just blew up in my face. I'm feeling lost, and I know I've lost that spark that really motivated me at the beginning of the challenge. Everyone was so supportive of everyone else...it was so nice! Now I'm feeling bitter and thinking of quitting...I'm not really helping my team members. ugh! I haven't even been following my team that much lately because I feel worthless compared to the others that have been doing so great. Not really sure what I want to do anymore.

Things that I know:

1. I don't want to weigh as much as I do anymore.
2. I don't like the way I feel in my body. I feel sluggish and tired (part of this is b/c of my job).
3. I want to feel healthy again.
4. I want to be around for my kids when they're older. I want to be the mother my mom never was for me.
5. I've seen that I CAN do it...but I'm lacking motivation.
6. My mind is my own worst enemy.

I think the most important one for me is number four. I can do this, but I really need to find some motivation. I'm waiting on a call back from my insurance company to find out if I can get a discounted gym membership, and then I'll start pushing myself to go after work. I would love to hear feedback from others on how they got over the slump...I think I need a big push in the tush!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    hi my love you are not letting the team down at all you can only do that if you quit which you are not going to do,right.now that is said lets get on with it and go out with a bang for the end of the challenge,you can do this love afterall you are a woman and a viking at that.we can do this together.i am also struggling at the moment with being ill. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1999 days ago
    Michele, I've been through some ups and downs myself and the one thing I've learned is that when I am discouraged that is when it is most important to Spark. Hang in there my friend, emoticon
    2003 days ago
    Thank you, everyone, for the great advice and words of encouragement. These comments really got me through yesterday, and I even got up and went for a walk yesterday afternoon. My inner fat kid was screaming the entire way. I'm going to start with the basics again and work my way back to where I was. Thanks again for everything. emoticon
    2003 days ago
    emoticon emoticon keep believing in your self and don,t let the crabby days get you to lose your strive recollect your self before your mind continues to make you have doubt here on spark we are all working towards the same goal that is to get fit and healthy it may not be easy but your worth the struggle emoticon
    2004 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/30/2012 9:37:57 PM
  • SAASHA17

    this was me last week but u know what this is a challenge and eveyrone has their ups and downs...u need to find the motivation...dont let one trigger pull u down..u have come this far and u have to finish this..so keep pushing...u can do this....ya...

    2004 days ago
    If it wasn't hard it wouldn't be a challenge! You signed on for 12 weeks and absolutely we were all on fire at first and now just past mid way MOST are feeling sluggish and less committed so that is the time to kick it up, change it up and rev it up. Reach out (you just did) and dig in! Participation not perfection. Your team DOES depend on you and are there for you too. Reach out and find an accountability partner. Text each other. Spark each other. Challenge each other. Together we CAN and WILL! There is always someone here 24/7!
    2004 days ago
    Mchele we have all been there, where you just lose your Mojo, but the key is you can't give up. I know that sounds so cliche but it's the truth. You're only defeated when you stop trying. You're gonna have bad days, not so good days and good days. It comes with the territory. Everyone has given you some great advice. I don't know which will work for you but you owe it to yourself and your children to try. I just want you to know that the Pink Vikings ae here for you. Whatever I can do to support you I'm there. Don't quit, surround yourself around others that are doing the things you want to do as well. Birds of the feather flock together. We're good for each other.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2004 days ago
    I can relate to your blog. If only weight loss worked in such a way that we can forego one trip to McD's and see an immediate, and substantial change on the scale...but it doesn't work that way! After a hard to at work, all I want to do some nights is have easy, comfort food. I don't want to log it, limit it or think about it. However, I have to tell myself that, in the bigger picture, I don't want a life that is all about sitting in bed with the TV remote and a plate of food! Try and hold on to the good feelings you can generate by letting the good decisions and non-scale-victories add up...one by one. We CAN find ways to soothe ourselves without food. We CAN take baby steps in the right direction. Quitting BLC, giving in to your every craving - that will feel free and good for the time it takes to stuff the food down, and then it will feel lousy. Take a deep breath, and start down that path to health and fitness...one baby step at a time!
    2004 days ago
  • PRIZM96
    There are so many great comments and awesome advice already here. :-) For me, I approach it with a "Fake it til I make it" type of attitude. When I'm in a slump, I don't feel like exercising first thing in the morning, but I sluggishly get up, dressed and push play. If I didn't put my all into it, then so be it. At least I did something. If I don't feel like eating healthy while my family eats pizza, then I do something like eat 1-2 pcs, then LEAVE. I know that may sound weird, but I have been none to just up and go til they're done eating. LOL I fake my way through the motions, until all of a sudden I've got the spark back that fuels the motivation.
    I like what JENGOJENGO said above: "It has to hurt more to stay the same than it does to make a change before you can do it." If you are still going to McDonald's to get those cheeseburgers and fries ON A REGULAR BASIS, then you are allowing your immediate gratification take over. (McD's doesn't have to be cut out entirely, ya know!)
    It's all so very hard.
    It's hard to lose weight
    It's hard to gain weight or stay at an overweight status
    It's hard to be healthy
    It's hard to be unhealthy

    .......Choose your hard You've got this!
    2004 days ago
    Making the right choice is always the hardest. You have all the reasons to make the right choices. I think you should rearrange your list and move the "I don'ts" to the bottom of the list. When you thinking of making the wrong choice, pull out your list and ask yourself if you really want that "cheeseburger or whatever."

    I always find the reminder of why I am making the changes is the best weapon against the unwise choices. Hang in there! You are not alone and we have faith in you. You can keep moving forward.

    emoticon emoticon
    2004 days ago
    Take it one day at a time. This is a lifestyle change. NEver, ever give up. Take everything in small chunks so it won't be so overwhelming. emoticon emoticon
    2004 days ago
  • LADYK1294
    Hang in there we all have our moments but emoticon
    2004 days ago
    I know you don't know me, I saw your blog on the side of the BLC challenge, but wanted to say emoticon Don't give up, I'm sure your team wants you to stay and do your best.

    2004 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/30/2012 10:32:57 AM
    Sweetie I really know how it gets sometimes it is hard to stay focus on some days
    2004 days ago
  • AELI2468
    I just got through a slump and have been back on track for a week. here are some things that helped me:
    -MAKE A PLAN- even if you don't meet the plan 100%, keep making the plan. Eventually it will stick. It took me almost 2 weeks of making a plan before I finally was able to really stick with it.
    - GET INVOLVED with your team again. People who post more seem to stay on track more
    - Force yourself to walk for 10 minutes each day. Just to get the habits started again
    -Write down everything you eat: the good, bad and ugly! Just doing that, even if you are choosing less healthy food will help.
    - Journal: clearly you are having some emotional stuff go on. Journalling may help get those feelings out so you don't feel the need to eat (much easier said than done).

    2004 days ago
    Some days are diamonds, some days are stones. I used to be addicted to BK Jr whoppers. I'd reward myself with one for walking a mile to get it, then I'd walk home. Things are changing here. You've already had success. When I first started SP I'd say to myself, if I just do what they say I should, I'll be where I want to be. I made myself a follower and them the leader. Kinda shifted some responsibility that way I know but - it helped. Best wishes! emoticon
    2004 days ago
    Bad habits are hard to break. Forgive yourself and start over Today. You have to just take one day at a time and focus on those things that are important to you.
    Don't give up. You are NOT alone in your struggles. emoticon
    2004 days ago
    Great blog!! Just remember that we are all here for you!! emoticon
    2004 days ago
    I can really relate to what you are going through. It is part of the process. It's like any addiction--you have to hit a low before you are ready for change. It has to hurt more to stay the same than it does to make a change before you can do it. Think of that day as a starting point! It can only go up from there :)
    2004 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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