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I'm Flying...... in the wrong direction.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Tonight when I got home from work my muscles hurt too much to allow sleeping. So, instead I decided to put in a little computer time since I usually don't have the time. It just so happens that I have the next two days off and I potentially have the option of 'sleeping in' come morning....I hope. Well, I surfed Facebook a little and then read through some emails and finally ended up here on SP. I've been adjusting my weight ticker sporadically trying to force myself to feel bad enough about the weight I have put on to get serious about doing what it takes to take it off. Wow! That's about all I can say.

My weight has escalated to a whopping 35 pound gain since this time last year. My, my how fassssst it flies on compared to how sloooow it creeps off or at least that's the way it is for this old body.

I keep asking myself and the Lord, WHY? Why do I keep cramming stuff I don't really need in my mouth? I feel really really bad when I'm done eating it.... I know I've failed God and myself. I think about how long it took to lose it this time which was about six years total and I still praise God that I with His help lost 100 pounds and kept it off for three whole years. What happened? I said I'd NEVER be that big again.... One has to really be careful with what one says, I zooming that way quickly.

Well, this one thing I know, God never changes, so I know it is ME. "Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever." that's what the good Book says. I keep praying that the Lord will take this thing, this attachment I have to food or whatever it is away. I've found myself in this place where I have to really take a long honest assessment of me. I also know there has to be a reason I am here just stuck. I don't have the answer yet but I know God is faithful and merciful and patient and kind and loving even though I feel unworthy of all those things. I suppose more than anything I just needed to say these things or "vent" so to speak.

I do feel at this moment a peace that it will be okay. My God is bigger than whatever is wrong in my life. Even if I don't understand, He does and He will never leave me or forsake me. No matter what happens, no matter what the circumstances God is good and my refuge in time of trouble.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." Psalms 19:14 This is my prayer.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I saw this quote earlier this morning and just wanted to share it with you. (by Oprah Winfrey)
    "No matter where you are on your journey, that's exactly where you need to be. The next road is always ahead."
    Just trust in the Lord and know that He has a special plan for you!!! Although we may not know what His plans are, we just need to follow where he leads us. God bless you as you get back on track to kick your weight loss again.
    Blessings and hugs,

    Put the past behind you and leave it there. We can't change it and it has made us who we are today. HUGS!!!
    3118 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/25/2012 8:53:52 PM
    Thank you for the blog. Your story could be that of any one of us and oh so true. It seems to be so hard to take off one pound and how quickly it can dome back on without even realizing. Your heart is in the right place, trusting God to help surely is where the answer is. Again, thanks for writing your story. I believe in can do it again.
    3119 days ago
    Hi Shirley good to hear from you and glad you stopped by on SP again. We are always here for you.
    I think the weight (mine too!!) creeps back on when we're not in the right mindset. You've had lots going on in your life as well as returning to work again - how stressful is that??
    Please just look to the Lord and let Him guide you one day at a time though this phase of your life.
    Why not join in the weekly weigh ins again...only takes a few minutes every week and it's good accountability. Hope to see you there my friend.
    Love Janet
    3119 days ago
    I'm right there with you! I put on about 20 lbs just by mindless eating and not wanting the right thing! I love your attitude about it and I know you will get back on track with the Lord's help!

    Been missing hearing from you neighbor!
    3120 days ago
    Shirley - I understand your struggle. I lost 40 pounds and although it took about 2 1/2 years, I gained back 50. emoticon It is a struggle everyday. I lost 10 pounds earlier this year to get back where I started, but haven't managed to make much progress since. With God's help, emoticon . I've been feeling that I am ready again these past two weeks; that's really what it takes - being ready to start the journey again. Somehow, we both need to find the joy in maintaining after we get the weight off. emoticon
    3120 days ago
    Hey...just docking in....I can identify in a small way....not losing anymore and loving the wrong things to eat....but persevere...we can always get up again when we've not made the grade. Just get up and get David did each time he fell. And boy oh boy..wasn't he a man after God's own heart! So let's be 'women after God's own heart'...persevering in faith and good habits. Be blessed. x
    3120 days ago
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    If you have not done it already you need to start a food journal in which you log why you are eating and when. I found at first I was emotional eating and then I was also eating out of boredom so I needed to fix those issues before I could begin to loose weight.
    Hourly and some times every moment we make choices about food. I would also recommend you watch the movie sick, fat and almost dead. I think you could benefit from drinking green juice.
    There is better road ahead you just have to keep moving emoticon
    3120 days ago
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    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3120 days ago
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