JUDY106
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Back on track after the munchies ATTACK last nigh.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

This morning I woke up full. (LOL) I should of been. I got up about 2:00 AM, 3:00 AM, and then too sleepy to tell you what time, but another time and eat food all three times. The food was good healthy food, but it was out of control eating. It really had been a while since I had done this. So, I was so disappointed in my self. When I was eating I didn't know why I wanted to eat. It had been an average food plan day and I didn't need the food physically. I just could not make myself think of all the tools that I had used before and stopped the surge to eat off my food plan.

I got up at 6:00 AM with NO sleep and started getting ready for exercising classes for the day. If I was doing it at home, there would of been no way that I would of exercised. While getting ready I didn't want to start my day off with my breakfast meal (wasn't hunger). So I made myself drink a protein drink so my body would start up and I would burn calories while I was at the classes that I did not feel like going to. (too sleepy) I had no intentions of blowing my day by still over eating. I have worked so hard the past five months that I was going to do everything that I should do for the day.
I wanted to do it ,but everything I did was a little harder to do because of the eating all through the night The slip was not worth it!!! I felt like a person who went out to party , spent all their money and had nothing left to show for it. My energy level was so low compared to what I had been having.

I was thinking what on earth caused you to do this. I thought back on my day and then remembered talking to my daughter about her health and her extremely overweight problem. She is in denial BIG TIME !! She can see her self ,but there is always a reason why she is overweight besides the reason that she is eating unhealthy. There is always a reason why she can can't move her body to lose weight. Then, I see her do these and almost kill herself because she wants to do them so bad. This does not happen often,but I see she can move if she wanted to badly enough. Oh, well enough of her. When I thought about now upset I was that she was not accepting that she could do something to help her self that's when I knew WHY I got out of control on my eating. Crazy!!!! I was over eating because she wouldn't try to improve her eating and get active enough to help herself. So, OK we both would be in the same boat if i continue to let this effect me.

It is SO. crazy how we go about trying to, "fix"something and all we are doing is hurting our self. I have got to let this go and let God. I refuse to keep hurting my self over her not take care of herself. The way things are going I might need to be in good health to take care of HER. I won't give details but she is really in bad health and getting bigger everyday. I hope she never reads this, but if she does it is the truth.

Well, I am glad to say, I let God have it and I went about my day as I should of. I have been successful so far and it is 10: 50 PM. I need to end my day soon and get much needed rest.

I feel good about my day that I had. ai completed the exercise classes. I "Sparked", on and off all day. I know what it was that caused the out of controlled eating. I let go and let God. I can now go to bed with that question answered. So, I should be able to have my normal night's sleep. Thanks everyone for the supportive comments. emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo YESCURLYCAN
    I am glad that you were able to get back on track, and be sparked. Also that you had a bit of introspection to discover why you were doing it in the first place. In regards to your daughter, I think we all know that change doesn't begin unless we want it. No one can want/wish it for us unfortunately. God willing she will want that change before its too late.
    Keep up the great work emoticon
    2089 days ago
  • SUSANS706
    The only thing that matters is, we keep trying. I too have two daughters who have weight issues. I realized the more I say something, the worse it gets. I am trying to set a good example, and let it go. They are both adults now, and need to be accountable. I cannot fix them, heck, I am having a hard enough time fixing me!! I have had a rough couple of days with overeating, nothing to do with being hungry, everything to do with being worried and stressed. But I get up everyday and start anew, hoping this will be a "good" day. Getting strength from my spark friends. Striving for more good days than bad!! Good luck on your progress, and letting go, I know how hard that is!! It is hard to see someone you love hurt themselves.
    2098 days ago
  • WONDERFUL2BME
    Sorry you had the night of eating. Maybe your daughter will do something about her weight as she sees you getting healthier! Just keep at it and it will work for you.
    2098 days ago
  • SH9719
    It is unfortunate that you have to consider that you might need to take care of your daughter. But, we all know what we will do for our children if we have to. You could look at it another way. By losing weight and getting in shape you will be setting an example for her to follow when she finally realizes that fat is not an ok option. I know it is tough, but you cannot let her problems derail you. You will just end up with 2 people off the track. Good luck.
    2098 days ago
  • LOVEMYBODY2012
    I recognize the eating to numb pain event you are describing here. Good for you for getting up and eating well and going to exercise class. I hope your daughter finds her way to better health soon. You are doing a very positive thing by modeling taking care of yourself!
    2098 days ago
  • DIET_FRIEND
    I never get up in the night so late-night binging isn't my problem. What's done is done. It's great that you went to your workout. I hope your daughter one day sees the light. I know it's hard to see loved ones do self-destructive things. Keep on sparking!
    2098 days ago
  • KES74754
    Good for you for getting back on track! I like that you did a self analysis to see what caused you to eat.

    I have a similar situation, my daughter too is overweight. I want to help her but she is an adult and old enough to make her own choices. I have found out through experience that if I bring it up to her then it only makes it worse. So I wait until she brings up the subject and I just try to be supportive in a very non-committal way. I just pray that she makes the decision to live a healthier life one day.
    2098 days ago
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