This morning I woke up full. (LOL) I should of been. I got up about 2:00 AM, 3:00 AM, and then too sleepy to tell you what time, but another time and eat food all three times. The food was good healthy food, but it was out of control eating. It really had been a while since I had done this. So, I was so disappointed in my self. When I was eating I didn't know why I wanted to eat. It had been an average food plan day and I didn't need the food physically. I just could not make myself think of all the tools that I had used before and stopped the surge to eat off my food plan.
I got up at 6:00 AM with NO sleep and started getting ready for exercising classes for the day. If I was doing it at home, there would of been no way that I would of exercised. While getting ready I didn't want to start my day off with my breakfast meal (wasn't hunger). So I made myself drink a protein drink so my body would start up and I would burn calories while I was at the classes that I did not feel like going to. (too sleepy) I had no intentions of blowing my day by still over eating. I have worked so hard the past five months that I was going to do everything that I should do for the day.
I wanted to do it ,but everything I did was a little harder to do because of the eating all through the night The slip was not worth it!!! I felt like a person who went out to party , spent all their money and had nothing left to show for it. My energy level was so low compared to what I had been having.
I was thinking what on earth caused you to do this. I thought back on my day and then remembered talking to my daughter about her health and her extremely overweight problem. She is in denial BIG TIME !! She can see her self ,but there is always a reason why she is overweight besides the reason that she is eating unhealthy. There is always a reason why she can can't move her body to lose weight. Then, I see her do these and almost kill herself because she wants to do them so bad. This does not happen often,but I see she can move if she wanted to badly enough. Oh, well enough of her. When I thought about now upset I was that she was not accepting that she could do something to help her self that's when I knew WHY I got out of control on my eating. Crazy!!!! I was over eating because she wouldn't try to improve her eating and get active enough to help herself. So, OK we both would be in the same boat if i continue to let this effect me.
It is SO. crazy how we go about trying to, "fix"something and all we are doing is hurting our self. I have got to let this go and let God. I refuse to keep hurting my self over her not take care of herself. The way things are going I might need to be in good health to take care of HER. I won't give details but she is really in bad health and getting bigger everyday. I hope she never reads this, but if she does it is the truth.
Well, I am glad to say, I let God have it and I went about my day as I should of. I have been successful so far and it is 10: 50 PM. I need to end my day soon and get much needed rest.
I feel good about my day that I had. ai completed the exercise classes. I "Sparked", on and off all day. I know what it was that caused the out of controlled eating. I let go and let God. I can now go to bed with that question answered. So, I should be able to have my normal night's sleep. Thanks everyone for the supportive comments.