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I am officially DONE trying!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I have made a lot of changes and even more this month. I have cut down significantly on bread. (yes, it's 100% whole wheat so don't even try to tell me switching from white to wheat doesn't help because it's not true for everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have completely cut out potatoes! I have swapped by morning cereal for Oatmeal instead. I have been exercising consistently for a minimum of 30 minutes, sometimes I work an hour in. I take my thyroid pill at the same time every day. I wait at least an hour before eating after I take it. I don't take any other supplements so I don't have to worry about waiting with that. I DO NOT drink soda or consume junk food!!! Anyone else who makes these changes loses a lot of weight and it is SOOOO unfair!!!!! People tell me to keep trying but I have been trying for months and months and months now! The endocrinologist is not helping!!! I make the healthiest choices with what I have. What else am I suppose to do???? It's not fair that some people stuff their faces with junk or anything and cut down and lose tons of weight. I don't stuff my face with junk or anything. I eat when I am hungry, stop when I am not. I am so SICK of trying. Like I said, other people have the same issues I do. I don't know what I am doing wrong but every time I see people with the same issues succeeding, I just feel like a failure. It honestly feels like a punishment. I *HATE* Metabolism. I *hate* food and I am DONE DONE DONE trying! I cannot take it anymore. This causes me a massive amount of stress. ANYONE WHO DOESN'T go through it should realize how lucky they are! NO matter what I do, it's not going to help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even know where to find answers anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't even think there are any anymore! Of course I am going to stress about this, weight impacts many parts of life. If I don't worry about it, you know what will happen. I will just get fatter and I am fat enough as it is. People who tell me not to worry DO NOT know what it's like to go through this!!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You have a lot of wonderful, caring and VERY SMART Spark Friends looking out for you. They've given some GREAT advice! I can tell by the way you write that you are a very nice person who cares deeply and passionately about life. I'll bet you are a very loyal, thoughtful and kind friend. So, my only advice to you is to be that same loyal and kind friend to: Yourself...! Give yourself the same love and encouragement you'd give to a special friend. Give yourself a break. For me, it took over 50 years to get here, and it ain't gonna change overnight. It's a life long process. Love yourself enough to stick to it when you can, and to give yourself a break when you go off track. Then give yourself the encouragement to get right back on track again. emoticon
    2041 days ago
    2045 days ago
    I feel your pain. I to seem like even when I make every choice right I STILL have trouble losing any weight. I have to exercise HARD for at least 2 hours a day just to get the scale to inch, that is how I had to do it before, and I think that is what is holding me back from starting to exercise again, I am afraid I would have to do that again and I feel so exhausted right now it seems hopeless. I hope and pray my friend that you dont give up instead go on this journey with me. I care and I feel hurt when you feel this way and I wish I could just make it all better.
    2047 days ago
    Please don't give up! You can rant and rave but we all believe in you! emoticon
    2047 days ago
    WHOA slow your roll sista and get off that ledge!!!! You are completely entitled to rants but YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to throw in the towel. So, get it all out tonight and get right back on that stooopid thyroid horse in the am. This does not define you and we need your voice and commitment. I don't HOPE you can do it, I KNOW you can.

    Come on and sparkle... you know you can!!!! If at first you don't succeed, try try again. Then try some more and lean on your team until you are strong enough to do it on your own.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Fight Fight Fight because it's all we can do until we win.


    2047 days ago
    I'm not sure if this will be helpful or not, but I watched it the other night and was awestruck by the information. Perhaps you'll find the information helpful in some way also.


    As we've established, I'm on a different journey than you. But what we have in common is that we both always have to keep fighting just to keep what we have and not lose ground. If there's one thing I can say for that, when the journey feels too difficult to keep pushing on is a great time to to be kind to yourself. Do something to lower your stress and relax. This doesn't mean free reign for anything, keep up the healthier habits, but be kind. When it feels like the world is dragging us down, being kind to ourselves keeps from making it any worse until we can figure out how to stand back up and start pushing forward again.

    emoticon Unfortunately, there is nothing that any of us will be able to say that will make things okay. We can sympathize and give you hundreds of reasons why you should keep trying, but to be honest it's completely up to you to decide to give up or keep going. You're the only person who gets to choose what you do and how you feel. Things are very difficult for you and it means you have a lot to fight against, and you will have weak moments - every one of us does - but that doesn't mean you can't choose to keep trying. If the only thing you do is eat a few less calories in a day, it is still better than the alternative. Every small thing you do a little better could be what makes a difference in the long run. If what you need is to get out your feelings, please do so. Throw the negative thoughts out of your head to make way for more positive thoughts. Then think about what you can do to keep trying.
    2047 days ago
    Ok, you got that out of your system. Do you feel better now?
    I'm not going to tell you to try harder. You've done that. What I will ask you to do is track your sodium for one week. My husband's cardioligist says to lose weight, you need to stay under 1500 grams of sodium a day. Are you willing to track your sodium for one week, eating as you normally do, and see what the numbers show you? You could just be getting too much sodium and if you can tweek that, you'll see some big improvements.
    That said, I haven't done too well in that department myself but I am hanging in there, tracking it every day and trying to keep it at least below 1800 grams. Once I manage that then I'll work to get below the 1500 grams.
    Let me know how it goes. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2047 days ago
    I'm so sorry. :(

    I can relate to this. I have been trying for a long time too. I finally gave up obsessing about it, and now I'm happier to be who I am.

    Anyone can correct me if I'm wrong, but don't they say that stress can add to your weight gain? The more stressed your are about it, the less likely you will probably be to lose.

    I'm not really sure what kind of exercise you like to do... whatever it is... keeping going! The important thing is that you are living an active life. Have you tried yoga? Maybe it'll help you get in some good exercise and de-stress.

    My mom struggles with her weight and thyroid problems as well. But there is always hope. Where there is a will there is a way.

    2047 days ago
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can relate. I have people in my family that eat horribly, never exercise and don't seem to gain much weight and as soon as they swap a water for a soda, they drop weight. Meanwhile, I have to work my ass off and eat very strictly and healthy to see the scale move even a pound. But... the important thing to remember is that it isn't just about the weight. It's about making better choices and living a healthier life.
    Their choices will catch up with them. We just have to deal with it now. If you keep pushing, you will succeed. Not everyone sees results right away.
    Just remember that you cannot ever GIVE UP. Keep going. Fight the urge and fight those inner demons that tell you that you can't. When you start to believe in yourself and change that inner dialogue, you'll notice a huge difference, too. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2047 days ago

    I appreciate your feeling of aggravation, I do, but giving up sure isn't going to give you success either. Don't look for fairness. This is your hill to climb and you CAN get all the way up to the top if you don't give up! emoticon
    2047 days ago
  • SYZYGY922
    I just saw the comment below about insulin resistance. I have insulin resistance because of PCOS. It's likely genetic because a lot of people on my mom's side have it, and my mom was diabetic so she probably had it, too.

    Given some of the things you have mentioned, I suspect you are also insulin resistant. I know I mentioned that to you before, but I'll mention it again. When I was at my highest weight, my fasting insulin levels were 51. Anything over 5 is undesirable, and anything over 10 indicates insulin resistance. If you have high insulin levels, you will be virtually unable to lose weight at all, and you will probably continue gaining. There are diets to control it but it would be VERY low-carb. I seem to recall you had a bad reaction to Metformin, which is usually what they prescribe.
    2047 days ago
  • SYZYGY922
    I'm so sorry.

    I don't want to give you a bunch of advice because I've been where you are (actually, I'm feeling kind of crummy and I think I'm having more metabolic issues AGAIN...ugh). I wasn't a soda drinker either, so I know how annoying it is to see diet tips like "Stop drinking soda and lose 10 lbs in six months!" I haven't eaten a cheeseburger since 1996, but I literally doubled in weight from 1997-2003.

    I actually eat MORE now than I did when I was 250 lbs. I also exercise much more intensely (which did help me lose weight...I guess I have an abnormally high heart rate so the machines at the gym were convincing me to exercise at a lower intensity than I really needed).

    Anyway, I wish I could sprinkle you with magic thyroid-function dust or something. Something will eventually work out for you! I had problems for 14 years before I got real help, and after a couple of years, I got sick AGAIN (mostly because of PCOS -- I even had to have major surgery) and it took a while to sort out.

    Just take care of yourself the best way you can.

    2047 days ago
    Life's not fair. That's all I have to say.
    2047 days ago
    I dont know anything about your situation but I know that my aunt has thyroid problem and she had almost no success in losing weight and she then discovered that she was insulin resistant. She had to go to her doctor and ask for a specific insulin resistant blood test. Once she was diagnosed with insulin resistant the doctor put her on a special pill for it and she lost 4 pounds in a month without dieting. Maybe you could try and check it our for yourself. But dont give up you may not be losing so much weight but you are becoming healthier. one day your body with catch up with the weight.
    2047 days ago
    Hmmm...sounds like a blog I've written before. Boy, do I know the feeling. You know what I did? I stopped obsessing about it. Now the weight seems to be coming off. I keep eating healthy, drinking water and walking (although I haven't been in a while.) I have put my focus on living life. Now I'm so busy doing other things that I don't have time to obsess about the weight that I'm not losing. I went to the doctor and surprise, surprise. 2lbs gone. emoticon What the heck? Give it a try cause I know from experience...stressing about it causes more weight gain!
    emoticon emoticon Whatever you do...DON'T GIVE UP!

    Update: I just read your page. Your health conditions will definitely make it a bit harder. I have a health concerns as well (lupus, RA). Remember, our health comes first, the weight loss will follow. Take care.
    2047 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/16/2012 1:03:43 PM
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