Sabotaging MY SUCCESS
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
I have found I must watch what I call my negative or stinky thinking. It seems a pattern that everytime I am on a roll toward healthy habits and weight loss I seem to go for a cookie jar or something equivalent that is no good for me or the goals I am striving for.
I know it seems like an excuse but stress is the fault and I must come to terms that life is always going to be a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs its goods and bads. I need to get real with myself since I am dangerously courting serious ailments. Last Sept. when I had that mini stroke which only 1/2 my face was paralyzed which was in line with my emotional state of emotional paralysis concerning my situation at that time I was blessed to have the feeling come back after 3 months but that was an awful time and scary.
With all that my threshold for pain is so high from my life's traumas that I am better but still do things that are not good for me...go figure. I can no longer leave my body unprotected like in the past when I ate mindlessly to get through these traumas.
My body need to be protected at all times in the future. Even if the event or circumstance is valid the body can not take being abandoned without disastrous results. Luckily I eat healthy in general but excess or even occasional bouts now seem to have bad results on me especially at this weight. I need to be present for myself at all times and realize I have not been a best friend to myself putting everyone and things before me. This must change.
I am in severe discomfort through all my waking moments and have painful sleepless nights. Without elaborating on the negatives in my health situation I need to stress to myself that the gratitude's are that I do not have a Terminal Illness or taking gobs of medicine but I am so close to falling apart.
I am praying today for God to give me additional strength to heed all the warnings my body is giving me and instead of tolerating these conditions correct them and don't feel overconfident when the movement I am making is so small.
I am coming to the realization that food has been my comfort, friend, reward, love child and filled too many voids. It must end and I must live in Discipline and Gratitude of what I have today and not ruin my tomorrow's. I must get stronger so no matter what comes I am ready for it.
Conclusion: EXCUSES OF ALL KIND BEGONE