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Sabotaging MY SUCCESS

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

I have found I must watch what I call my negative or stinky thinking. It seems a pattern that everytime I am on a roll toward healthy habits and weight loss I seem to go for a cookie jar or something equivalent that is no good for me or the goals I am striving for.

I know it seems like an excuse but stress is the fault and I must come to terms that life is always going to be a roller coaster ride with its ups and downs its goods and bads. I need to get real with myself since I am dangerously courting serious ailments. Last Sept. when I had that mini stroke which only 1/2 my face was paralyzed which was in line with my emotional state of emotional paralysis concerning my situation at that time I was blessed to have the feeling come back after 3 months but that was an awful time and scary.

With all that my threshold for pain is so high from my life's traumas that I am better but still do things that are not good for me...go figure. I can no longer leave my body unprotected like in the past when I ate mindlessly to get through these traumas.

My body need to be protected at all times in the future. Even if the event or circumstance is valid the body can not take being abandoned without disastrous results. Luckily I eat healthy in general but excess or even occasional bouts now seem to have bad results on me especially at this weight. I need to be present for myself at all times and realize I have not been a best friend to myself putting everyone and things before me. This must change.

I am in severe discomfort through all my waking moments and have painful sleepless nights. Without elaborating on the negatives in my health situation I need to stress to myself that the gratitude's are that I do not have a Terminal Illness or taking gobs of medicine but I am so close to falling apart.

I am praying today for God to give me additional strength to heed all the warnings my body is giving me and instead of tolerating these conditions correct them and don't feel overconfident when the movement I am making is so small.

I am coming to the realization that food has been my comfort, friend, reward, love child and filled too many voids. It must end and I must live in Discipline and Gratitude of what I have today and not ruin my tomorrow's. I must get stronger so no matter what comes I am ready for it.

Conclusion: EXCUSES OF ALL KIND BEGONE emoticon
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  • no profile photo CD12756725
    You are in my prayers dear God Bless!
    2724 days ago
    Yvonne, it is tough! There is no doubt about it. You've done the really hard thing of identifying some of the challenges for you. I could give you a whole laundry list of things you "should" do, but I bet you already know what they are, right?? So, get rid of the cookies, put your big girl panties on, and go for it!! You will be amazed at yourself and your progress. You have already proven what a strong woman you are about so many things, so I'm very confident you will succeed with this, too! We're here to help and give you a hand, but the real work comes from within. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Love you!!! Jeannie
    2724 days ago
    An amazing blog you wrote, with much deep awareness and insight. And Jill also spoke the hard truth about many of us. It is good that you acknowledge what is there, release it and let it go. I am sorry about your pain, your sleepless nights. I pray that you may find healing soon and feel better. I support you and bless every step you take towards wholeness. Love, Jackie O
    2724 days ago
  • JILL313
    For most of my life I took my good health for granted. I pretty much ate what I wanted to and rarely exercised. As a result of not taking really good care of myself and gaining a 100 pounds the last 15 years I am not a healthy person anymore. I have several health problems that I probably could have prevented had I eaten right and exercised. But, hindsight doesn't help me now as I live in pain and my nights are sleepless. We've both have had warnings that the time has come to stop making excuses for ourselves and work hard to lose our excess weight and exercise more. I don't want to live with anymore regrets and end up in a nursing home down the line. So sweet Sister the time has come for us both to get off the dime and do what we have to do to remain healthier. We both can do this. Thinking positive does help. Take Care.

    Hugs & Love,

    2724 days ago
    Very insightful blog you wrote. I especially relate to the line " It must end and I must live in Discipline and Gratitude of what I have today and not ruin my tomorrow's." That's great.

    Have a great day and don't let the negatives rule!
    2724 days ago
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