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The Best Group Ever?

Thursday, October 11, 2012

emoticon I couldn’t believe how nervous I was about this meeting. Don’t ask me why, I just was. In fact, I was nervous eating all day (didn’t over do it at all and was well within my calorie range for the day), got a lot of work done and even made sure I had my directions to the hospital printed out. Since the class was getting out around 8pm, I wouldn’t be able to run but I could definitely get on that fitness bike so I came to group in my workout clothes. emoticon

Overall, the group was very warm, welcoming and supportive. I’m the youngest in the class with everyone being late 40s and over. They wanted to know all about me, all about my struggle and even wanted to come to my next show. emoticon Although I was pretty nervous, and still am about going to group every week I am going to continue to go. My hesitation is mostly because I feel like being in a group setting is a double edged sword. On one hand I feel like it will help me quite a bit but on the other, some of my fellow group members are experiencing grief so fresh, it’s terrible to watch. My grief isn’t “fresh”, it’s old and old grief takes a toll. This isn't to discount their "fresh" grief, but it might not help me if I've been dealing with grief for over 7 years. Make sense? Some of those people have lost people in the year or so, and their pain is so evident. Can I handle watching them suffer each week? Will my story help them? Only time will tell.

After the group was done, I chatted with one of the women who recently lost a husband and who implored me to continue coming. Our group meeting was kind of intense because of another member's personal problems, and I guess she didn’t want me to be too scared to come to the group. I told her not to worry and that I’d definitely be back. She told me, "This is a really great group, I promise!" emoticon

Later on, I did my cardio emoticon and pilates emoticon to combat all of the sadness I was feeling. It was really overwhelming, but in a positive way I think.

“This is the best group ever!” says one of my grief group members.

I think this is going to be a good thing. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yeah, I see what you mean with the double edged sword. But sometimes listening to the problems of other people makes us see ours in their true dimensions.

    It happens to me all the time. I'm nervous about the university and I hear that a person is sick. And immediately I come into my senses and set the right priorities about what is more important: health or a stupid course exam?

    I can't really understand how it feels to lose someone so close to your heart, I am really lucky since this hasn't happened yet.

    I would continue going and see how things are... You can be there as long as it helps you... emoticon

    2072 days ago
    I def think you should keep going too. I'm sure you all can help each other. Best wishes. :)
    2074 days ago
    Congratulations on finding a group that is dealing with grief. And it may be a great thing for you to witness the freshness of the others grief, perhaps it will bring you back to a place you rushed through and didn't say the good byes properly. The stages of grief are sequential, but sometimes they back up and you have to go through a step over and over again to really feel at peace with a loss that is deviating. I think you wisdom and "oldness" may just be exactly what some of them need to see, that there is survival and life goes on. Hand in there and let the feeling be acknowledged and not shelved.
    2076 days ago
  • PICKIE98
    Oh, I am so happy for you! Ripping that scab off is the painful part, you are an intregal part of that group, will grow and watch others heal along with you. Go for it!!
    2076 days ago
    emoticon You will always find one or a few that overwhelm a group like that. It's part of the process for them I think. emoticon Good for you for going and for planning to continue. It is so worth it. emoticon
    2077 days ago
    Good for you!!! You're doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. HUGS
    2077 days ago
    2077 days ago
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