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Confessions: I'm on a Break

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Saturday, October 06, 2012

Here's where I own up to it, I'm on a break...from the scale.

Shocking, right? Me, a professed scale lover who weighs in every day, on a break from said maintaining tool. The last time I weighed in was last weekend, and I'll probably weigh in tomorrow, but this week has been a no-go.

All summer the scale has mostly been showing me numbers I don't want to see and that's been wearing at me. I jump on the scale hopeful and step off angry and defeated. This past weekend the number was up three pounds from my maintaining weight. I'm okay with that number, things are still looking and fitting fine. It's the knowledge that at my current daily deficiency it'll take three months to lose those few pounds that is so hard to deal with. If I stay vigilant.

The extra three pounds itself is somewhat easy to figure out. A season of 100-300 calorie daily binging, getting my body up too early in the morning for training and jumping on the scale before I can manage to get in my morning constitutional, the increased sodium intake in delicious fall food, added with TOM and the resultant constipation I could set my calendar by. It's a party of poor circumstances happening at once.

Maybe I'll get on the scale tomorrow and be pleasantly surprised. It would help to know that after I've finally been able to get my mind back in the game, my body is following suit.

But until the weight is gone I can't take a break from counting and measuring everything that goes in my mouth no matter how small, I can't stop increased amounts of exercising at least six days of the week, I can't slack. With the holiday season rolling in that is beyond scary to contemplate. About the only thing I can manage for the sake of my emotional state is to cut back from the daily weigh-ins to once a week. Besides at this point I'm pretty much also on a break from maintaining (and being able to eat more and exercise casually) and actually facing weight loss mode.

Wish me luck that I can be back to maintaining once my anniversary in January rolls around.

I think it is important to note as I mentioned to Bob:
The weight isn't a measure of how I look. I look and feel damn good. The weight is a measure of how well I'm controlling my eating and my addiction. I have been failing at that all summer long. If I sit back now and accept the weight for how I look, soon enough I'll be facing another gain when I lose control over food. I must expect to lose control, because 1) I am an addict, and 2) I can never give up the habit of eating. Gaining the weight back doesn't happen in big jumps, it happens through tiny amounts of complacency. Unfortunately a food addiction is never something I can be complacent with if I want to keep the weight I lost gone permanently.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    well done for taking control
    1993 days ago
  • ROCKMAN6797
    Good choice Tina!
    I truly feel the best indicator of how I am doing is how it fits on me. Is it tight or is it is loose?
    The daily drama is not worth it!
    2009 days ago
    Congratulations on another popular blog! I love your voice and the honesty of your blogs and am really happy that they're getting more attention. Have a great weekend!
    2014 days ago
    2015 days ago
  • SHAZG321
    2016 days ago
  • SHAZG321
    emoticon emoticon
    2016 days ago
  • DARKMOON1025
    You got this!!
    2016 days ago
    I admire your dedication. emoticon
    2021 days ago
    I am sorry you have to go through this struggle. Don't let the little ups and downs throw you off. Look at it as a trend over time. Maintaining is hard and it is easy to talk yourself out of having the ability to do it.
    2021 days ago
    Tina, I just spent some time reading through your blogs from the last month or so, and I know you've been struggling quite a bit. Although I consider myself a food addict and hoarder, I can't begin to imagine how difficult this must be for you, as it seems you are at a much more significant level than me. Please, please do not underestimate how far you've come, and please continue to reach out to friends for support and encouragement.

    I know how important it is to you to maintain, to not let a couple pounds creep on as it may/can/will just lead to more. Sometimes I think you are much to hard on yourself, but we all have our vices and obsessions and I can only offer you a listening ear and words of support and encouragement. And advice when you ask for it. :o)

    In the meantime, hang in there. You've got a lot to be proud of with the 5k this weekend that you've been so committed to training for. I know you'll find the balance eventually.

    Thank you for being so supportive with all I'm going through and sending random words of kindness my way. You have no idea how much it means and how much I appreciate it. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you at any time, and hopefully we can get together very soon. I adore you, and am so thankful to have you in my life.
    2024 days ago
    Me too! I've only be weighing in once a week. Right now, I'm working on trying to weigh in twice a month. I'm so tired of the morning drama of daily weigh-ins and the constant ups and downs that determine my mood for the rest of the day.
    2025 days ago
  • KANOE10
    Good luck with your once a week weigh in. You are right..The holidays are coming and staying on track is a good idea. I also am 3 pounds up..which is the top of my range. I am trying to get it back down.

    2026 days ago
    You are on the right path!!! Remembering that what the scale says is just a number and not the complete picture!!! I found myself being too attached to my scale and the number it showed each week ,so I put it away this summer.... when I drug it back out in August, I was only down a couple of pounds.... just weighed yesterday for the first time since August 30, down two more pounds... However, I feel good, healthier and know that I'm doing what I need to do to live a longer, healthier life, with a few side steps and oops..... but like you.... I keep on keeping on!!!
    2026 days ago
  • BILL60
    Good luck to you and perhaps the weigh-in will result in good news.
    2026 days ago
    Excellent points... thanks for the reminders...
    2027 days ago
    It is crucial to marginalize the scale. Staying within a reasonable range is fine, but daily weigh ins are completely unnecessary. While you're transitioning to maintenance, it's probably good for validation, but become emotionally detached. Find functional and meaningful goals where a strong, healthy body are critical to success.
    2027 days ago
    I just did this. I took a 7 week break from the scale.
    Weighed yesterday for the first time since August.

    I never weighed as I lost sixty pounds in about
    one year. It is just stress I did not need. I
    keep my focus on my eating, tracking, and how
    my clothes fit. That's the better feedback anyway.
    The scales can be so fickle. emoticon
    2027 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/6/2012 2:19:35 PM
    You are fine, just keep telling yourself that.

    2027 days ago
    emoticon Remember th scale is not the only way to find out how your feeling and how healthy your journey is. Feeling great is an indication of doing things right. Hang in there.
    2027 days ago
  • BOB240
    hang on.... what are you losing weight for? You look fine/great......
    2027 days ago
    Yes! At least you've gotten your grip now, before you've spiraled further. You've got this!
    2027 days ago
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