Deep Sigh....

Avoiding the Spark, and climbing uphill today. Holidays and dealing with my long standing issues had me off track. I was doing so well..lost at least 5 pounds...(from when I started weighing. )..The Jewish holidays bring so much pressure...emotional pressure that comes from years of guilt that is just to deep for a blog I guess. I am making so much progress in so many ways and truly feel that I will get it together..but something holds me back...and when it hits me it is fierce and I do alot of damage to my program.
I am here to recommit and trying to work it all to the best of my ability. I have so much to say and feel exhausted by the thoughts. Regardless...I am marching on. I am so tired of being heavy...this has to end.