80,000-99,999 SparkPoints 80,370

T Minus 87

Friday, October 05, 2012

I'm still waiting to get fired up. I'm doing little things, but no where close to the zeal with which I had in August.

My computer crashed as it's wont to do with Windows 7 *mad face* and I lost a lot of data in a fitness spreadsheet I have that goes back to 2005. But I realized the important stuff just need to be reformatted. So, since I had to fuss around with that for awhile, I took a look at my weightloss trend over time. I've done this before, but this time I took my highest and lowest weights for each year and determined the average.

The little dip in 2006 and 2007 was because my husband almost died in 2006. I don't know about you, but tragedy kinda kills the appetite. Over the next three years, I just kept growing and growing. My husband stopped moving and so did I. In 2011, I took advantage of a health coach service through my employer. It took a month, a few more pounds, and an introduction to Sparkpeople before I got serious.

I'm happy to be trending in the right direction. I need to be more patient with myself and learn to live life. I'm in a rut because my mind is stuck on the same track. I need more in my life than this constant focus on weightloss. The BLC team challenges aren't fun, they're tedious to me. I'm not connecting with the team. But I don't want to be a quitter. I took a leave when things got busy last season. I almost didn't get on a team this season because I took that time off. And now I'm struggling to stay active. I feel horrible to contemplate dropping out now. I'll stick with it, but it's likely I may finally come to the realization that the structure with these team challenges is actually demotivating for me.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow, that's crazy to hear about your husband. Personally, I tend to eat more around tragedies, to stuff myself trying to not feel the pain...
    2022 days ago
    If it's not working for you, it's not. That doesn't make you a quitter, it makes you smart for recognizing the truth. Always do what's best for you...the good stuff will follow! You've got this!
    2022 days ago
    Wow, it's amazing how I can totally relate to your blogs. I just wrote in my Oct. 1 blog about needing to stop thinking so much about food, weight loss, fitness. Sometimes it just seems to take over my life and I have to step back. So that's what I'm doing. Not tracking food for now, still trying though, and I've been experiencing less guilt. I LIKE THAT!

    I feel the same way about the challenges. They just don't seem to fit me and then I feel overwhelmed and want to quit. And yes, I keep going but it is very tedious and causes me stress. So no more challenges for me after the Rock It challenge ends in a few weeks.

    Sorry to read about all you've been through with your hubby. I didn't realize he almost died in 2006. I know his diabetes has caused many challenges for him, and therefore to you. God bless you both!

    Wishing you a low-stress, happy, rest of October! Take a deep breath, and let go of anything you are able to! You've done well before with getting healthy, you'll find your way back (as I will!).
    2022 days ago
    So true! Find something you love or try new things until you do. Motivation is a battle, sometimes it's easily won and other times it's the hardest thing you have to do that day.
    2022 days ago
    Find something that works for you! Keep pushing! I know you can do it!
    2022 days ago
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