Monday, October 01, 2012
it's a new month. three quarters of 2012 is gone. time has flown by. i may not be where i'd hoped to be in terms of weight loss, but when i evaluate all that's gone on this year, i am content. would i be more content if the scale said what i planned? i'm going to guess i wouldn't. if i weighed 20 or 30 lbs less, i think i'd still be struggling with the same issues--am i good enough, thin enough, healthy enough? in all honesty, i don't think i could ever say "yes" to the first two, using my life-long measuring stick. i'm taking this time of stasis to find a NEW way to evaluate myself. that's kinda scarier than losing weight, but i know if i don't work on changing my internal dialogue that i'll lose a lot of the ground i've fought hard to gain. controlling what goes into my mouth is a lot easier than managing what goes on in my head.
this is a journey that i'll be walking for the rest of my life...it's worth it to go into it thoughtfully, carefully and with prayerful preparation.