"AAHHHHHH, Please STOP!!!!"
Thursday, September 27, 2012
That's what my brain and body we're screaming at me today about halfway through the first day of couch to 5k. How depressing is that? I've already done this and was up to running several miles a day but I just let it all go!
I think that I'm definitely in the worst shape of my life at this point and I could really feel it during my run. I have a feeling I won't be able to walk or in general just move around a whole lot by this evening!
So what has started this redo of my fitness?
A friend of mine was killed in a car accident last week and right now the suspicion is it was intentional.
I had just talked to him that day after a depressing post he made on facebook and found out that he had quit his job, was facing divorce and basically felt that he had nowhere to go. I had never seen him that low before in his life and even though I told him I would help him with whatever he needed, including where to live, money, etc, it didn't make a difference.
I feel like I should of done more that day and maybe he wouldn't be gone. But I'm not sure what else I could have done, there's just that constant feeling of guilt in the back of my mind telling me I should have done more.
Ever since I found out about his death, I've been motivated to write and get the emotions out and this morning I needed to run. I haven't felt the physical need to run in quite some time. In fact, I stopped running last year right around this time because of the physical pain it was causing me. I will find out if the physical pain comes back again now that I've finally recuperated from my illnesses.
My friends death has also given me some clarity on what I want with my life. I'm going to begin working towards some goals of mine now and quit making excuses.
Happy Almost Friday Everyone!!!!