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When a goal has been met, what to do next

Monday, September 24, 2012

Looks like the last time I was really active on SparkPeople was when I wrote my last blog back in April of this year. Eeeek! This was when I was in my second week of the Bikram 60 Day Challenge. Wow, seems so long ago and it technically was. I actually finished that challenge on May 31st and it was an amazing finish to a long road.

I want to get back to some normalcy and back on track but am having a hard time. A little depression has set in along with some feelings that I remember distinctly 12 years ago when I was weighing a lot more than I do now. So I'm writing this blog today to kind of explain to myself why this year has been an odd one for me in regards to fitness, goals, nutrition, etc. It's been many years, in fact, 12 to be exact, to be at this place that I'm at right now. For the first time in 12 years, I started out the year with no goals or plans set in place which has kind of snowballed for me. We are now into September and I still am not sure what I want to do. I'm stuck like Chuck!!!

I decided since I really wasn't sure what I wanted to do or how I was going to handle this little hiatus I was having, I would get back to some kind of structure. I returned to Jazzercise a little after our vacation to Germany in June with the hopes of at least getting a workout in a few times a week with that structure I long for along with burning some calories. I also returned to power boxing about a month and a half ago. I was on a roll and feeling good. My nutrition was in check and I was getting my workouts in daily, even a few days of run/walking and then BAM, I herniated another disc (did this same thing back in 2008 after my last Oly Triathlon) in my lower spine just bending over for something menial and had to put everything I started on hold.

This little setback has really turned into something bigger within myself. I was already having some of these feelings earlier this year and that is why I dove into Bikram yoga and dipped right into that challenge only a month after I started. I was craving some type of endorphin rush. At the moment, I'm having a little bit of self-doubt, self pity, low self esteem and probably a bit of that demon I call depression that I felt back when I was 230 lbs. I'm not that overweight by any means and this isn't about being overweight. I think I'm just down (which Grace doesn't get this low much) and am having a hard time getting back up. It's a little bit of everything and anything my negative thoughts can muster up. But whatever it is I NEED TO GET OUT OF IT A-SAP! I learned a long time ago, that this IS NOT ME! I don't give up, I don't quit, I never stop doing stuff just because of minor setbacks, it's just not me I tell you. I will get out of it.

I believe I am an endorphin junkie and I need to get that feel back. Hmmm, maybe I'm having withdrawals and just need to get my head out of my butt and get on track! Whatever it is I vow, here and now that I will start something, I don't know yet what it is but it'll come to me when I least expect it. My DH had a good point the other night, he said, do what you love. Well, I love a lot of things but my heart as far as fitness is with TRIATHLON, so I believe that is where I will set my sites to.

For me, it's been more than one bad day but that's okay.

I vow that I will continue blogging just for that feel good feel afterwards.

Thank you to all my SP buds who read this!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Dearest Sissy,
    It makes me sad to see you so down! I know you say this is not you, but don't be so hard on yourself. These things happen and there are so many other things you can do while you are trying to recover from your injuries. I know it's been your life, but maybe it's time to try something else just until you feel better. Give yourself a break until the end of this year and then come in full force in the new year with a whole new set of goals. If anyone can do this, it's YOU! I am still so proud of everything you do and have done in the past. Not too many people can say they've accomplished as much as you have in your life. Set a spell, take your shoes off, you'll come back now hear? And if you think this is a load of crap, just tell me. I love you, Babe! See you soon. I need you to come help me find a house in the Hill Country. That's my goal for the next year! Ha-ha-ha! I love you, Babe! See you soon.
    2065 days ago
    I'm so sorry you are feeling down. Wish we weren't so far away---I mean we've never even met in person---I'd say you needed a coffee---my treat---if you drink it. emoticon

    I hope your mood lifts soon. -- true clinical depression can be hard to muscle your way out of--not that you are there, but it is something to watch out for.

    So you are going back to training for tri's. Do you have a concrete plan, something achievable.

    And I so relate to being an endorphin addict. I think my husband puts up with all the time I run and row because if I don't I tend to get the blues frequently.

    emoticon emoticon

    2067 days ago
    Glad you are blogging about it. emoticon
    2068 days ago
    2068 days ago
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