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jokes and rules for met to live by

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Rules for me to live by
1 exercise first thing in the morning except for non workday then can do it later in the day
2 find one thing to be grateful for everyday
3. sparkcoach after exercises except for non workday
4. facebook only after I do my exercises and spakcoach except for non workdays friends are importasnt
but so am I except if I need motivation to do what I need to do then all bet are off
5. check in with all my group once a week if not checking in leave the group
6 have fun
7 have fun
8 enjoy you guys
The Women's Rules
1. The female always makes the rules
2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
3. No male can possibly know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects the MALE know all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. The male must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
8. The female may change her mind at any time.
9. The male must never change his mind without the express written consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The female must, under no circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.
14. Any attempt to document the rules could result in bodily harm.
15. If the female has PMS, all the rules are null and void.
16. The female is ready when she is ready.
17. The male must be ready at all time.
18. The male who doesn't abide by the rules can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
So a woment went to the husband store to find a husband
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
Oh, mercy me! she exclaims, I can hardly stand it!
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
To avoid gender bias charges, the stores owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.
The 1st first floor has wives that love sex.
The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.
the 3rd,4th, 5th and 6th floors have never been visited

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