The constant struggle of negative self-talk

Friday, September 21, 2012

This is my second Spark People account. I deleted my first because it was too depressing to see all of those failed attempts at a "new me"; I needed a fresh start. Because this really isn't about a creating a "new me." My old me is just fine; I just need a little tweaking. I really find it frustrating, though, to constantly cut through all of my negative self-talk. I'm constantly catching myself saying little things like "this is just like all of those other times... you'll never do this" and I actually find myself physically rolling my eyes at myself. I know that I need to get over that crap before I can actually move on and get on with my life. The problem is that I just don't know how. I try to combat those thoughts with positive responses, but I just keep getting more and more jaded.

Does anyone out there have any advice at getting over this damaging and frustrating practice? Any tips, books on the subject, etc?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I remember being told that whenever I have negative self-talk to ask myself if I had a friend who were going through the same issues, would I say these negative statements to them? I know I wouldn't say those statements to my friend, so why would I say it to myself? Also, maybe placing positive statements around the house might help. emoticon
    2101 days ago
    It has helped me in the past to have a substitute for my negative talk or obsessive thinking. Sometimes I'll say "blessings be", or "may you walk in beauty" when I'm thinking negative things about myself or another. Once when I was struggling with a bad breakup I would tell myself over and over "may he walk in peace". You gotta have backup words or sometimes just say very loudly in your head NO!, or STOP! When I quit drinking I was always telling myself I could not drink just for today. Now I gotta tell myself that about food. Good luck and may you walk in beauty.
    Donna in Montana
    2101 days ago
    I faced this very thing today. It's hard I know. I wish you all the best. I have been learning that I can't 'outrun' this talk, nor though, am I willing to wait until I no longer hear it (never happens) One of the things that helps me is to treat that negative talk 'like a person'. I am the adult, and I talk to this 'person' respectfully, but as if they were a difficult, wounded child. I might say something like, 'I hear you, and I feel saddened that you think this, but I am the adult and I shall be doing this anyway. I would like you to come with me.' Or, 'Actually, I think you'll find I CAN do this. Don't be frightened, and watch. You'll see that it's okay.'

    I am learning that I am the adult and this negative talk no longer serves me, but sabotages me. I am learning to take back control, respectfully and carefully.

    It may not happen everyday, and this wounded, difficult child might scream and spit self-hating words at me. But day by day I am being more the adult, and living regardless of what it says.

    Will be thinking of you. Good luck in the re-sparking! My tip? Get yourself a structured routine of your daily essentials (including your wellness programme) stick to it as much as possible, and fit your to-do list around it. This has become my rock, my life-saver.


    2101 days ago
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