I wish...

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

I wish I could be so many things.


I'm not trying to be down on myself, I swear. I just am not one for inaction, or for settling, and as far as my weight goes, I have been inactive and settling for far, far too long, and that has impacted my life in many many negative ways.

For example, I wish I was more confident. It sounds simple enough, and around my friends, people I trust and know, I am. I can tell jokes and laugh and be amazing like no tomorrow. I know my worth. Trust me, I know I'm awesome. But when it comes to new people, men especially, well, I clam up, self confidence goes out the window and I might as well be part of the paint on the walls or carpet on the floor.

Pretty sad for a 28 year old. At this rate maybe I'll get married...never.

I wish my body would let me exercise at the level I WANT to exercise at and stop being so darn slow! I hate that getting stronger takes so long. I want to be able to lace up my shoes and RUN...or jog at least for longer than 60 seconds. I know, I know, I should be proud of every single accomplishment, but it's just taking SO LONG. UGH.

This is typically the point I begin to fall off the wagon. Because my body doesn't keep up with where my head wants to be. Stupid, slow body.

And see that's the thing. I let my inactivity run my life. I allowed myself to settle for finding comfort in food--not in challenging my body or myself. And these choices are choices I have to live with. And I'm paying for it.

And I've chose the different path. And I don't regret any experience I have gone through--it's all made me stronger. But I do wish I had been smarter and taken better care of myself instead of taking better care of others first.

On the plus side, I know my body will eventually catch up with the goals in my head. I know eventually the strenght training will pay off and my knees will be stronger, my arms will be more toned, and my body will be able to handle whatever I throw at it.

I just wish I was more patient :)

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • _JULEE_
    You're focusing more on "I Can't" than you are on "I Can". Not pointing the finger at ya, honest - We ALL have times where we go through this.

    You CAN run for 1 minute today. Do it. Rest tomorrow, then plant to run for 2 minutes the day after tomorrow. Even if you get a minute and a half, it's more than you did today.

    You'll be surprised at how much your body will give you after a little rest. Rest is every bit as important as work.
    2371 days ago
    Being patient can be so difficult but it makes it really exciting when you do hit those goals. They wouldn't mean so much if they were easy to attain. I remember the first time I ran a full mile and I thought I was AWESOME lol because it took a long time and alot of work to get to that point. Maybe set some short-term goals in the meantime so you're constantly working to achieve something attainable, instead of big long term goals that will take much longer. You can do this!
    2371 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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