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Does this happen to you?

Monday, September 17, 2012

I certainly don't need reminders that I'm overweight, but I get them all of the time. Sometimes I feel as if I have this big target on my back, just asking to be kicked. Well, on Saturday night I got kicked again when we met two other couples for dinner. The six of us sat at a booth, and despite the fact that I DID FIT, one of the men asked ONLY me if I would like to move to a table! I stared at him at first, then in my most matter of fact voice asked "no, why would I want to move"? He didn't answer.

This is not an isolated occurrence, it happens most of the time. It makes me feel different from the other people at the table and not normal. But most of all it hurts!!! Anymore, when we go out with other people, I just wait for the crappy comment, and I'm rarely waiting for long.

About once a month my husband and I get together with his cousin and the cousin's girlfriend for brunch. If the cousin gets there first he gets a booth, and yes, I DO FIT into the booth. However, it doesn't stop our cousin from asking ONLY me if I have 'enough room'? It's so predictable that I just wait for him to say it every time. I respond with a very curt "I have plenty of room". Needless to say, the cousin is a chunker as well, but I've NEVER said a cruel or hurtful thing to him! I've tried to out-smart him by arriving 20 minutes early and getting a table, thinking that now he has nothing to say. Wrong. He has even asked me while I'm seated in a chair that I PULL UP TO THE TABLE, if 'I have enough room'. I looked at him like he was nuts, and asked him 'why'.

We traveled with them ONCE, and believe me, that's all it took for me to tell my husband - NEVER again! He agreed. We went on a Canadian, New England cruise, which left from New York. Since we all live in Florida, we all had to fly north first. I booked a window seat for myself, only to be told by the cousin that I won't fit because I'm TOO WIDE! Yes, you did read that! He suggested that I get the aisle seat like him because I'll have more room. All I could think about leading up to the trip was - oh PLEASE let me fit.. I kept my window seat and I did FIT! Take that you jerk!

I don't know WHY people feel the need to do this. It makes me feel like I'm not like everyone else. I sometimes feel like I'm trapped in this fat suit that I can't wait to be able to unzip, and step out of. I don't want to feel like some target that's being scrutinized and judged. I'm tired of being hurt by insensitive comments and made to feel different.

Does this ever happen to you???

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Yeah, people can be insensitive, can't they. I don't let it bother me, I simply see a booth and run the other way. What? I need indigestion with my meal because the booth is cutting off my airflow? Thank God I don't have big boobs or I'd have to hang it up all together..haaaaaaaa. I'm fat and sassy...I like to spread out. Give me a big fat table anytime. I need my space...I'm a lefty...hahaha. Yeah....reminders are great, aren't' like...mirrors or store windows...but at least they don't talk back...or do they? BUHAAAAAA. Have a happy day, you! emoticon
    2043 days ago
    Oh Sweetie, What a jerk is right! I would freak out if someone did that to me. I never sit in booths. I hate them. My feet never hit the ground. So they dangle and go dumb. And I don't fit so good either. I would be temped to corner him with no one around and flat tell him if he every tried thinking for me or have a problem with my size again it would be his last. One warning then he would be out of my life. I do not do well with people being mean ever. I would rather deal with it head on. And either destroy it or conquer. I am surprise that someone at the table has not put him in his place. The greatest revenge you could do.. is when your at your goal turn those nasty comment back to his chubby self. Gee I don't sound like a nice person do I. Well mean people tick me off. Let me know how it's going? Maybe a good kick under the table might do it. I know where I would kick him.. Your Nutty Spark Friend that really does care. Velvet
    2061 days ago
  • PRINCESS1309
    I understand how you feel. I am very sensitive about my weight. People generally don't say anything to me but I make it hard on myself because I imagine what they must be thinking.

    We have to just enjoy life and forget any negativity.
    2068 days ago
    Hang in there.
    2077 days ago
    UNICORN212 took my answer!!

    Remember that the best defense is a good offense... No need to be rude, just get the point across decisively.

    I hope that you are able to find some better eating/traveling companions!!

    2077 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    I get the looks, the conversations that happen around me as if I am invisible. I feel your pain!
    2077 days ago
    I think they only do it to make themselves feel better. Unfortunately the closer you get to goal weight it doesn't get any better. The thin people join in because (as I've been told multiple times) You make them look bad.
    2077 days ago
  • UNICORN212
    When he asks if you have enough room, calmly look at him and say "Yes, I do. Do YOU have enough room?"
    2077 days ago
    Oh wow..... sounds like he has issues. I would too be very sick of it but at least you know its coming and you can prepare yourself (somewhat ) for it ! I do hate some booths. I have in the past had some trouble with them being too tight but since I've lost some weight its been so much better. How his word do STING !! Is there not some nice way of saying " hey hey..... YOur words are not too kind ,,, could you maybe stop saying this all the time ???? and smile sweetly ??? If your husband cannot bring his attention to it then I would just definitely ignore all invites for eating out and do other things and or avoid him altogether. I'm so very sorry that keeps happening to you . Keep your chin up and move on..... shake it off ... becouse it's his problem....

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2078 days ago
    Not usually, but that's because I say it enough for everyone. Now I would not say I'm a huge chunker but I do see myself as though I am in the fun house mirror.

    Though I having a good day and feeling good about myself, something will happen that will suddenly make me want to just shed all of my excess weight. Whether it be when I look down and realize how much room my thighs are taking up or I suddenly get a side view in the mirror of myself that takes me off guard.

    We have to love ourselves in our own skin. Because if we can do that, then he can say whatever he likes and you know that you may not be a super model, but your more beautiful than he will ever be.
    2078 days ago
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