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30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 4

Sunday, September 16, 2012

( Questions from TANYAP71's blog:

4. What are (or were) your fears about weight loss?

When I first started out, one fear was that it would be harder than it has been. Unlike many others, I hadn't dieted multiple times over the years. I'd never focused on trying to lose weight ... ever. But I'd had people around me who did. I actually knew people nutty enough to do the cabbage soup diet. I saw others yo-yo, I saw them lose a lot and then stall or regain.

Another fear was that I'd have to surrender to eating "health food". My variation on this is a bit strange, though. I differentiate healthy food from health food. One is simply nutritious things - such as vegetables I've always loved eating. The other is bending over backwards to try to eat just right - such as freaking out if food has sugar or HFCS or adding powdery/gritty stuff to food (bran).

I understand better now why even SP's meal plans throw egg whites in rather than simple eggs, for example, but will never make that my style of eating. Thankfully this fear is gone because I've proven I can eat good food, delicious food, and meet my nutritional needs while losing weight.

Another residual fear is that I have to hit a dreaded plateau. I've somehow managed to avoid one until now. Sure, I've had points where my weight trend flattened out, but every single time it followed directly on the heels of eating more which my tracker showed me clearly. I haven't had a legitimate plateau in which I'm actually "doing everything right" and my body has simply decided to stall.

The next fear is that I won't be able to tell when someone cares about me as opposed to how I look. It's not just weight I used to hide for all these years. I haven't worn a skirt or dress in many years. The heels I bought earlier this year are the first I've owned in a long time. I can't remember the last time I wore more makeup than some color on my lips.

There's another fear behind that one. I lived a really bad way for a little over a year. I knew I had to get out of living that way. Yet there remains a part of me that craves part of that life. I keep that part suppressed most of the time, but it's there when someone pulls over and offers me a ride. I hate the attention; I crave the attention. I'm afraid I'm not normal enough to have real relationships with people. Even my best friend and I aren't "normal" when I let this side of my mind natter.

While I do have these fears, at the point I decided to work to be strong and fit I decided that I wasn't willing to continue harming my body and my future in it over fears. I looked at what the "worst case scenarios" were for each of the fears and realized I'd rather deal with those than with aching knees and clothes that looked dumpy and wore out quickly, not to mention spending more than twice what I "should" on food.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh, yes, fears - not something anyone really wants to face, but important to do so in order to move on & to keep going. You've done so beautifully here & shared honestly. Thank-you.
    2040 days ago
    Very thoughtful blog--TY for sharing.
    2042 days ago
    I'm glad you made the decision to become healthy. You demonstrate in your blogs that becoming healthy has many facets (such as "what is normal?", relationships). I think it's wonderful that you are taking these challenges on along with weight loss.

    2042 days ago
  • NEWMOM20121
    I ask what is "normal"?

    You are doing an amazing job and figuring out what works for you.

    Great job and keep it up.
    2042 days ago
    emoticon emoticon that you have not had the experience of a plateau.
    keep up the emoticon job in your challenge emoticon emoticon
    2043 days ago
    when I was 20 or so I "dieted" big once and lost 60 lbs. I cut out "bad" food exersized till I puked thing unless I made myself sick with it it wasn't exersize. then I hit a platue. and then gave up I lost my musclesand gained it all back. I now relized eating about 1000 calories a day and the "spew" exersize regimene was bad. I thank god that I hit that platue because if I didn't I probley would of killed myself.
    Now my focus is smart eating not eating less. healthy foods not health foods. and basicly not being stupid!
    And if I end up doing something like the cabbage soup diet it is because I realy like cabbage ..... and i do! but as for egg whites most of the nutreince are in the yolf. to me it is like throughing the baby out with the bath water.
    2043 days ago
  • RG_DFW
    2043 days ago
  • CIPHER1971
    Wow - I have some of your fears (and some of my own)

    You are an amazing person, and 'normal' is so overated
    2043 days ago
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