Friday, September 14, 2012

Ok, I am gonna whine and play the worlds smallest fiddle. I sucked today...bad. really REALLY really bad. My flight just was shot to the boonies. Couldnt do anything right. My instructor is frustrated with me. Wanted to cry for embarrasement. Ground lesson instead of flying. Ya, I have a pilots license and I cant do a correct approach. I feel fricking worthless. Just the empty type of worthless, you know? Ate two apples extra today. Figures. Went to the gym and worked on the heavy bag for half an hour. After I took the gloves off I noticed blood has seeped through my wraps. Thats good. Huge bruise most likely on my shin from kicking (kickboxing), also good. Friction rubs on my forearms from elbowing it. Awesome. Coming home and realizing that after bleeding, sweating, barely being able to move the next day, blisters on palms, dragging yourself to the gym and trying to eat healthy that your still fat, not awesome. Hec, I am in college and cant even get anyone desperate enough to hit on me. I have been either A) the only female in class or B) one of two females in class for two years now, and the only thing that ever happened was one of the guys I kick around with asked my room mate out on a date. Oooh, figures. Now I get why the boss at the pool told me I was ugly after telling all the others they were hot. Great, now I am about to cry.
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  • BLACK741
    Wow you are on a down hill slope today and going fast!!!!!!!!!! put on the breaks please!!!!!!!!!! first of all I know, it is very frustrating, but you did not gain weight overnight you will not lose weight in one kick ass work out day. Give yourself some props when you deserve them Awesome workout day, you ate two extra apples, you know how many people would love to say all they ate extra was two apples???????? you have a pilots license woot and double woot, that is fantastic, how many people can say that and there are those of us who would love to say that, but don't have the time, opportunity or money to learn. Get that negative guy off your shoulder and out of your ear. kickbox him into the next hemisphere. talk positive to yourself some of the things that you say about yourself you would not say to your best friend, why do you talk to yourself like that? Positive will get you a lot more than the negative. every time you have one of those negative thoughts, kick it out with to positive thoughts. If you are only 1 or 2 females in class you are on an uphill battle with society to get what you want. be proud of that fact that you are not "normal" and willing to fight for what you want fight for yourself
    2047 days ago
    All I can say is, hang in there. You have to give yourself a little break, and a lot of credit! You are doing so many positive things in your life and eventually all your hard work is going to pay off! I know it's easier said than done, but I think as humans we need to embrace the bodies that we are in and see ourselves as beautiful no matter the size. That does not mean that we can't or shouldn't strive to be ever improving, of course we should strive for health! Keep chugging along, baby steps will eventually get you to your destination. As for boys, my best advice is keep doing what you are doing. There is nothing more beautiful than a girl who is happy.... living her dreams and loving her life! I think you are quite amazing young lady!! Keep up the hard work ;) emoticon
    2047 days ago
  • SFREY217
    People I the world can be so cruel sometimes. You need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back in the game. Your are a beautiful gift from God ! And he dose t make junk ! It doesn't matter what the world thinks, it matters what you think. A positive attitude is beautiful, and it shows through to the outside. You can do it !!! emoticon
    2047 days ago
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