10,000-14,999 SparkPoints 13,487

It all started with just 1 bite.....

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Right now, I am sicker than a dog (have no idea how that phrase was started) and I caused it all by myself.

It never ceases to amaze me after all the information I have learned about Paleo, after 2 years of having the lapband, and after losing almost 100 pounds that I still mess up big time every once in awhile.

It all started with just 1 bite.....

You see I am a food addict and I'm addicted to sugar. Food is my drug of choice and has been for most of my life. All it takes for me to fall off the wagon is just one bite. I know this and do very well most of the time, but if I ignore the rules about eating excess fat, sugar, and salt, then I'm toast. pardon the pun.

It all started with just 1 bite.....

I had just spoken to a friend yesterday afternoon and told her it was ok to eat a little extra carbs when her body needed them for energy. I meant healthy carbs, of course. Because I know better. Yeah, right.

After we finished our conversation, it was dinner time and I hadn't prepared anything for me to eat. I didn't even have any leftovers. My DH did have some canned salmon patties that I had prepared for him and I thought because it was mostly prepared with the foods I allow myself, I would eat just 1 pattie. (He loves canned over fresh, go figure and I haven't gotten him to change yet).

It all started with just 1 bite....

The only difference in the way I cook it for him and myself is that I put bread crumbs in his and I use fresh salmon for mine. For me, I try to never eat bread or wheat or any grains for that matter, and I hardly ever eat anything out of a can, but I thought just a little would be ok. It couldn't be that bad, right?


Just that one bite threw me into a tail spin. First, it was the canned salmon and after I ate it, all I could taste was the salt. It felt as if someone had opened a box of salt and poured it directly into my mouth. I mean it was nasty.

Then this morning, I was still off my usual plan and began to get hungry before my normal lunch time so I decided to eat a little more packaged salmon and had some light mayo.

What the H***!! Why did I do that AGAIN??? Yuck!! the salt--I never knew that stuff had so much salt in it before I quit eating packages and cans.

After I went Primal/Paleo last year and started eating as fresh as possible, I got all that junk out of my system and now even though it made me sick to taste the salt the first time, I ate it anyway! AGAIN!

Then I was really hungry--the cravings were full force at that point and I ate some snackwell cookies my husband has for his snack stash! Double yuck!

Then, I ate a carmel apple that DH had left in the kitchen....what a sugar rush that was. Then, I ate 3 more slices of carmel that i had left over that were from a kit to be used for more carmel apples.

Then I ate some canned soup and canned corn--oh yeah, the whole can of both!

Now I am so sick and feel so dejected about the whole thing. I have managed, with just 1 bite, to completely ruin about a week's worth of progress plus now I have to get all of this sugar out of my system again which will take a while to do.

My body feels like I have just shot sugar and salt straight up into my veins and I feel like I could drink a lake of water. Plus now I am bloated and swollen.

I just can't take 1 doesn't work that way for me. Maybe other people can eat in moderation but I am a food addict and I must abstain completely. Right now I am kicking myself in the butt for sure. But right after I post this blog, I am going to plan my grocery list and get to the store.

I'll be back on track starting right now.

It will take a few days or weeks to get the sugar out, but I will. You see I have to because this way of eating makes me sick. I don't like the way this type of food makes me feel now. I don't like eating from cans and packages. Eating real food is the only way to feed my body now--no wonder our country is killing itself. It's what most of Americans eat: The Standard American Diet (SAD).

I will probably mess up now and then because I'm not perfect, and there are situations that we can't control sometimes, but I will get right back on track. Why?

It's because I can't stand the taste of salt and sugar anymore! My body can't stand it! has more to do with that then losing weight for me at this point.

Ok, enough.

Now I will pick myself back up and start again. And next time I am tempted to eat something that is not in my plan, I will remember what happened with just 1 bite.

I think I will have a new motto now, when in doubt, don't eat it.

I will feel better tomorrow....

Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sounds like you've got a bad case of 'being human'. At least you are aware and that's a great defense right there. Keep on keepin' on and try not to beat yourself up when you mess up; we all do it. Grab hold of the proverbial reins and get back on track. I've come to the conclusion that I will be in this struggle the rest of my life - everyday must consists of discipline, awareness and tracking.

    You're doing GREAT!! emoticon Pat emoticon
    2063 days ago
    thank u 4 sharing!!It helps to get it out in the open!!I think your food choices were way better than mine would be !!Imthe same way with chips/salt!!I can never have just 1 and if I do than on comes the cravings and vicious cycle of feeling hungry all the time!!hugs and u will be back on track in no time--Crystal emoticon
    2074 days ago
    Great blog my friend. It is a good reminder that just like an alcoholic where they can't have just one drink.

    2075 days ago
    Well Paula. I truly am sorry to hear of this. Now you know why I abstain. It is kind of easier that way. Ok, now it is over and tomorrow is another day. RIGHT?????
    I want you to to count how many pounds you have lost in the year we are Lapband Rulers,
    Count the inches gone, count the sizes you've gone through. That's what you need to think about. Tomorrow is another day.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2075 days ago
    Hugs Paula! I have been there as have many others here. The good news is that you now associate what used to be delicious with "YUCK"!! You're not going to crave it and keep eating it.

    Knowledge is power and you have the power. Now forgive yourself and move on!

    xoxoxo Marg
    2076 days ago
  • ADELE66
    When I gave up smoking - one of the things that really helped me was to remember what the first cigarette after a long haul flight used to taste like - it was VILE! Every time I craved a cigarette, I tried to visualise that experience, tasting the cigarette in my mouth, and remembering my disappointment that it didn't match my expectation.

    Perhaps you can convert this experience into a really positive one. Try and store that feeling you have now - not the guilt - just how nasty that food tasted and how horrible it made you feel. Really concentrate on it, and the next time you get an urge, focus on that recalled memory.

    I wish you very well - and thank you for sharing your story.

    2076 days ago
    Hugs to you my dear friend Paula. I am lending you a hand to pick yourself up and a shoulder to cry on. All will be well and you will be even better for it tomorrow.
    2076 days ago
    I've been where you are, most of us have. The difference is that now we're able to stop, think, reflect, and move on. In the old days, our "binge" would have probably lasted a lot longer than yours did, and would probably have included a lot worse stuff!

    Be kind to yourself and move on.

    Love ya!!
    2076 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear that you are so miserable. I have been there myself before, and I know I likely will be again. You are so wise to have the insight that you do, and I know you will get back on track again quickly. Sending you a hug.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon

    2076 days ago
    "Welcome to the Human Race" again, Love -- you are still a member of our special 'sorority' of compulsive overeaters whose food addictions truly are just that -- as OA always says, "One bite is one too many and a thousand aren't enough (borrowed from AA, of course)."

    One of the magnificent features of being an honest recovering addict includes the HONESTY you share here, and the WILLINGNESS to start over immediately. We learn and learn and learn, over and over, one dang day at a time. You are quick to recognize that beating yourself up accomplishes next to nothing good. A self-hug and a brave step forward -- that what you're showing us with this blunt story of stepping off the healthy path. All that icky salt and other yuckiness -- reading your words reminds me so powerfully how that goes and how long it takes me to get re-tuned to eating wisely.

    Almost (!) every time I slip like this, though, I find it's a bit faster to get back on track -- with renewed commitment. Back on the familiar Good Path again, YES!! The lessons have to be repeated for me ... and I do learn 'em a tad more quickly (usually) every time. May it always be so. Perfection is not in it, ever.

    Seems to me you're still a strong model member of our sorority, my Dear Friend!!

    THANKS for this wonderful blog -- love and admire you much!

    2076 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/13/2012 10:05:18 PM
    You will feel much better tomorrow once you've moved on.

    what would do me in is the corn. that's a no no
    2076 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.