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Article Recommendation

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Great article on Spark today called "Why Do We Beat Ourselves up" by Mike Kramer:

The back half of the article really spoke to me, and while my inner brat hasn't been trash-talking me that much lately, it doesn't mean she's gone forever.

Now, normally, you've gotta understand that I'm definitely not a Stuart Smalley-morning-meditations-in
-my-mirror type person, and frankly, my esteem-challenged, sarcastic, knee-jerk smartass self *did* find it hard to read a phrase like "What's so wrong with reminding yourself how wonderful you are?" without eye-rolling.

But even with that, the article spoke to me, so I'm going to paste those words right here on my blog. That way, if that brat does come calling again, I'll be prepared. So here goes:

"You’re a fantastic person on an exciting journey, in the middle of creating a life that you want. If I were you, I wouldn’t put up with that negative voice in your head. You deserve better. If anything, your self-esteem needs to be built up, not torn down. What’s so wrong with reminding yourself of how wonderful you are? Isn’t that what you would do for a friend who needed a word of encouragement?

Sometimes, this can be easier said than done. Any self-bashing you might do may actually have its roots in something other people have told you over the years. Harsh words can leave scars that never go away. Still, that doesn’t mean we have to carry on the legacy of beating ourselves up.

You deserve to be treated with respect, encouragement and patience. You demand that much from people you know. Demand it from yourself."
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I'm sneaky - I like to self-bash and then laugh it off. But sometimes, I'm really mean. Those are days where I can't figure out what to wear and everything looks bad. I can actually feel the despair welling up in my chest. That's when "You need to tell yourself how wonderful you are!" makes me want to email Mike Kramer and tell him to get his ass over here and prove me wrong.
    2407 days ago
    I enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing!
    2407 days ago
    The problem comes in when my positive self-affirming voice gets rude to the negative Old Me voice. "They" say to talk to yourself they way you would talk to other people (i.e. be nice) but that doesn't get me motivated. So my typical interior dialogue is something like "Shut up b!tch and do it anyway!" Might be offensive to some but it works for me.
    2408 days ago
  • MIRAGE727
    Excellent article! Thanks for sharing!
    2409 days ago
    Thanks for the article rec! I really like the part you referenced.

    Sometimes, when I doubt myself,I hear that little voice that says "who are you to think XYZ?" Who are you to think you deserve it?

    Then, I try and chime in with my other voice and say "Who are you to think you DON"T deserve it???" And that makes me smile!! LIke the little angel devil on my shoulders!

    2409 days ago
    I don't think our inner brat EVER leaves. Really. I'm pretty sure I'll be old and gray, sitting in a rocking chair and thinking "You can't do that, you'll break a hip" or something like that. And I'll have to shake my cane at the inner brat and yell "Get out of my head, you annoying whippersnapper!!"!

    But as long as we can recognize that voice and remind ourselves that we're better than we think we are, then we're all gonna be ok. In fact, we'll be awesome. I'm gonna be an old, gray RockStar and so are you!
    2409 days ago
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