Etiquette question for anyone and everyone
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Allright. I know there are people of all ages around here, so I'm appealing to everyone to answer a couple of questions on etiquette.
I know you don't put registry information on your wedding invites. That's basically demanding gifts, and that's just tacky. So I'm wondering this:
If you invite people to your own housewarming/birthday party, is it tacky to put on the invitation to please bring housewares instead of birthday presents?
My thoughts are these: if shows a lack of class to demand presents at your wedding, it certainly shows a lack of class to demand them for your own birthday/housewarming. It's further compounded by the fact that you're assuming your close friends--whom you've already insulted by demanding presents from them--can't be trusted to consider that you're eating off paper plates and solo cups in your new apartment rather than get you completely useless and trivial birthday gifts.
In context, I got this invitation via facebook through a friend-of-a-friend (more like friend-and-former-roommate-of-
my-fiance's-sister). I was shocked by the assumption and demand of tribute.
I understand that kids--my age and younger--don't all seem to understand the concept of host/hostess-guest relationships. I've always brought a hostess gift to a party, but I've met a lot of people who don't do that. You have to be prepared for that, because as a host/ess, you are inviting people into your home for a good time. It's not a barter system whereby you provide an evening of entertainment in exchange for gifts. In contrast, my fiance's parents have let parties be held in their house at the request of our friends, but because it was a group of people asking to use their space, everyone brought food or their own drinks to split the cost of comestibles. A party that YOU plan and invite other people to is not the same. You're asking people to come enjoy time in your company, not to buy you stuff and show up with it at a predetermined time.
So that's my question. I'm also curious about bridal and baby showers. Are those registries placed on invitations, or is it the same routine as for wedding registries?