Monday, September 10, 2012
Well, I've been slacking in the workout dept since we started back to school. I've been a little depressed. I started my new job, scouts is back in gear, one kid is doing tae kwon do, one is doing soccer. I have also been downing 1-2 cans of pop a day. Naughty, I know. My excuse was that it's been too terribly hot to drink coffee. But, honestly, I have been addicted to the sugar rush it gives me. So, starting today, I am giving up pop. I'm going to put reminders all around me. I'm going to start drinking tea instead in hopes that the continued caffeine boost will help me break this addiction. When I have the opportunity, I'll be doing one of my workout videos. When that's not an option (since the only working dvd player we have right now is in the living room), I'll hit the treadmill. I really want to be down 15 lbs by my cousin's wedding in the middle of November. I know I'm going to have to work extra hard, but I've already lost 6+ lbs. (I didn't show it on my ticker, but I was between 211 and 214 for a while this summer when I was feeling my lowest. Which, of course, means I was eating my feelings - stress, disappointment, unworthiness...)
Working has already brought my weight down, but I have some serious work to do. Just last night, I saw myself walking in a mirror, and there was just way too much jiggle going on. It was an awful sight. Along with the pounds, I have a lot of emotional baggage to work through. I've been doing a poor job of dealing with my issues. I have just been stuffing those feelings back down with just enough comfort food to keep them quiet. It's an awful cycle I've fallen into. Motivated - work hard - lose weight - get comfortable - get discouraged - get depressed - eat myself silly - get tired of the issues - start all over.
I know I can beat this. I haven't so far, and it's a little discouraging. Okay, very. But I can do this! I know I can! Deep down, somewhere, there's my can-do and my will-do. I just need to dig them out and keep them out. I want a healthy weight and a healthy body. I want to be strong. I want to be one of those fun girls that runs all the fab 5k's - glow run, zombie run, color run... Once I get enough weight off, so I can prevent another knee injury, I'm going to start running. Can I do this? You bet I can! Will I? Let me show you. (Because we all know by now, that my words are just words most of the time.) Let's see some action, Suzie!