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I got to be me

Thursday, September 06, 2012

We grow neither better nor worse as we get old , but more like ourselves " May Lamberton -Becker

Lately for some reason I have not felt fully me. Or maybe I should say as happy of me as I should. I have been hypercritical and a real bully to myself. I have been on a stay-cation. And I have spent to much time on the stay part. My husband has been helping his dad all week on short notice and since I don't have many friends I have spent a lot of time alone and not happy with it.

But that all changes today we both went to the beach my favorite place. Since it is a season ending time we had a lot of room to ourselves. We had a brunch on the patio of a hotel and I found myself to be more open and not as shy as usual.

Then we sat outside and marveled at the ocean waves and I read a good book. My husband went and put his chair in the water but I was fine where I was and just sat there and reflected.

Later we went on two walks my favorite thing to do at the beach and if I lived closer I would be walking every day I so love it.

While we were eating our picnic lunch the husband went and got me a drink at the hotel bar. He comes back with a daiquiri for me. Lol, I just told him last time I was here I did not like that drink. lol he forgot. Then a couple hours later he comes back with an amaretto on the rocks and said he didn't want to get me a beer because he didn't want to mix my drinks. I laughed hysterically at this. He does not know me at all.

But I was so glad I went to the beach because I got to know me better. And from what I saw of me or in me I ain't that bad. I mean I was liking what I was seeing. I talked to a few people there and made them laugh. I was kind and tipped generously. I even did not take my husbands head off for getting me the wrong drinks after being married for 23 years. I seem to mellowing with age and also am more open and caring.

I plan to spend some more alone time so I can think of the things I really love to do besides writing that is. My daughter will be off to college next year and the husband just bought a small boat and we will spend less time together .I need to find fun things to fill my time. Hopefully if I continue to be open and caring I may find a friend some day to fill up more time.

As I get older I would like to be more like myself and totally know me and like me as much as I like each one of you my friends here.I am sure this new me will eat better and get more exercise and am sure I will because I always have my friends here to remind me of just who I am.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I found out that the older I get the more I accept myself for being "me". An I do like me.No longer do I care what other people think of me.As long as I like the person that I have to see in the miror everyday.
    Have a great time discovering the "ME" youu are getting to know.
    and have fun doing so !!!
    2056 days ago
    The time spent alone is a perfect time to examine
    and reflect. Love yourself for who you are now. I
    am sure the time you and DH spend together may
    not be as much as you would like but it is still good
    to have time alone-for both of you. HUGS!
    2056 days ago
  • KELPIE57
    Maybe as we get older we are less concerned about who we think we ought to be, and more concerned about who we actually are.....good luck on the voyage of discovery!
    2056 days ago
    It is good to get to know yourself and love who you are. As your journey to better health continues you will notice more change and come to love yourself even more. You are a wonderful person and deserve to be loved no matter where you are right now on the journey to better health. emoticon emoticon
    2056 days ago
    Reflection is good and looking ahead to quieter times makes for planning for ... what's next inevitable.

    My girls are getting older and I have no partner in my life for now so I'm finding that I too will need to look at setting myself up to do things to keep me busy and fulfilled.

    Like you I love the ocean... would LOVE to live near one so I could walk it every day...
    2056 days ago
    It sounds like you are getting in touch with yourself. I too like me time, but I find that I need to find time for the "us." My husband and I try to do one thing a week just to reconnect. With four kids, the oldest is a high school senior, we know how fast time goes.

    It's good that you both have or are looking for interests, but don't forget to spend time together. (Like you did in your blog.) It is true that a woman always should have friends as they are the ones that will always tell it like it is!
    2056 days ago
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