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Chuck Norris comments and I feel like Shattered Glass (better to skip this)

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Chuck's comments on Kayla Harrison, Olympic Gold Medalist in Olympic Judo:

=== Beginning of quoted segment ===

Kayla's journey to Olympic gold, as well as her triumph over tragedy, models a path that victims of any form of abuse or past entrapments can take to attain recovery, freedom and their dreams.

Here are a few of the lessons that her life and actions teach us:

1) Don't let being a victim define or paralyze you any more than it already has; rather, use it as a catalyst to grow, overcome and fuel victory.

The U.K.'s Guardian retold how Kayla said everything in her life — the good, the bad and the ugly — was used to help her overcome and reach her goals: "Kind of just reflecting back on my life. Everything it's taken to get here, and everything that I've gone through."

Kayla reminded me of a critical fact in personal growth: Your past can be the fire for victory in your present; it doesn't have to paralyze and enslave you. Triumph over trauma can be our greatest achievement because it helps us in myriad ways. In her own words, Kayla said her journey "is proof that you're only a victim if you allow yourself to be. Nothing can stop you."

Read, learn and grow. As PAVE Inc.'s website notes, "education and awareness are essential to both prevention and healing."

2) Surround yourself with people who will push — and sometimes even pull — you toward health, wholeness and your goals.

=== end of quote ====

I'm not allowed to quote all of it...

So anyway this is an issue I'm still struggling with.

I'm still kind of paralyzed in parts of my life... still have a tendency to just go numb and not really feel....anything.

I remember when I was 18 or 19 and finally out of the house, I felt powerful. But I guess there were some things I didn't fully understand about family dynamics, about dysfunctional relationships, about personal boundaries, about what exactly is "respect" and what exactly is "honor"... things like that? When do I "honor" the abuser just because of their seniority or because of the relationship dynamics, who they are relative to my place in the family. I read where I'm to honor a person but not respect what they do. And when I reached out to try to stop and was not believed, and later on, the others in the family overreacted and now the family is spread to the four winds, so I don't even feel respected by the siblings who were not affected. Not sure how to put Humpty Dumpty back together again...because she, well, me is just not altogether there. Now I have problems hugging my own child, for fear that I will turn into the same monster (statistics claim that the abused grow up to be abusers. I know statistics can lie.... I also know statistically the abused are more likely to become obese...).

Why do I feel so down when I'm trying to look up to a better example? Where does the forgiveness come into play, and still care for elderly family members who didn't stop the pain when they could have?

I'm the only child that still lives in the same area, still mains any contact with my elderly relatives.... The other siblings essentially have nothing to do with me, with each other, with their elderly relatives... (I've no idea if anyone on SP knows me and my family personally... a few have met "at" me but I wouldn't say they know my family, other than my DH and DS.).

So sorry.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BERRY4
    As always, I would believe there is more to your story.... just maybe not the platform to present all the "good, bad & ugly".
    -- At different times along my own journey, I have felt the need to talk to a neutral party (ie. counselor) or someone that isn't entangled in the strings that have knotted around me (ie. NOT family). I have felt that it is difficult for me to "see the forest because of the trees" and that is where someone "outside" can provide guidance for me to find a path to walk that is healthy. (because we don't always know what that looks like; often it feels awkward)

    There is a need for personal respect and boundaries, and often in abuse those lines have been blurred so badly, that we can't, by ourselves, figure out what is healthy and what is not. I would encourage you to find someone safe to talk with to be a sounding board and provide feedback as to how to walk, and how to deal w/ family, and what to do about care situations, etc.

    ...just a few thoughts from someone who has been there. I KNOW there are people who have suffered far more than I. Nevertheless, some of it shapes you and it is a challenge to figure out how to change it--for the better.

    Best to you in your journey... emoticon
    2075 days ago
  • MICHELLE6468
    2086 days ago
    emoticon Glad I didn't skip this. Focus on yourself and your immediate family - your child, your significant other. Do what you can for yourself and them first. Then worry about everything else. Take care of yourself.
    2087 days ago
    emoticon from another in that same boat..........I'm very glad I did not skip this.
    2087 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/6/2012 7:51:51 PM
    2087 days ago
    emoticon Love yourself !!! Let yourself be happy ! Take care of yourself ! emoticon

    Make your family your focus ! Your children will be loved, protected and listened to.

    Don't blame yourself for any of it -- you were a child. Forgiving someone is hard to do especially if they don't admit to any wrong-doing. However, if you can forgive it will help you to heal.

    2087 days ago
  • 3G1RLS4ME
    We are in a likely boat I wrote a blog about it this morning I don't know either
    2087 days ago
    2087 days ago
  • NEPTUNE1939
    Remember young lady "you are unique". Each day is special as it is the start of a new beginning, May God bless your journey and Spark on, Earl
    2088 days ago
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