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Where oh where did my motivation go?

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Motivation is a funny thing. When you feel as if you've 'got it', you're rolling along and your journey can seem fairly smooth. But when you've lost it, you can feel stuck, frozen in place, unable to move forward. Not only did I fall off of the wagon, but it's rolled over me, and I've been stuck for awhile now. Falling off of the wagon is something that I thought would never, and I mean NEVER happen again. Boy, was I wrong!

I thought that I finally 'got it' about making myself, and especially my health a priority. Wrong again! It was a gradual thing as I slowly started moving myself further down my priority list. Suddenly I was missing workouts and not staying on track with my food choices. I was skipping breakfast and sometimes lunch, eating a late dinner, and then dropping into bed. Any wonder why the weight started to pile on and I felt like a SLUG! Stress became my new companion, along with it's evil cousins - insomnia, migraines, and teeth grinding. The more pressed for time I felt, the less I took care of myself. Huge mistake!

We're not on this journey living in a bubble. Life happens and you're sometimes thrown a curveball from time to time. It's how you handle the challenges in life, WHILE taking care of yourself - that's the lesson. If this was a test, I know that I've failed. But it's okay because I learned from it. I see everything as a learning experience, and I think that now I'm a bit more aware of ducking when a curveball is headed my way. Stress is no longer my daily companion - I've kicked it to the curb!

So here I am, starting over - yet again. I beat myself up about this for most of the last year, feeling defeated. What a total waste of time and energy. Trying to get my motivation back has been tougher than I thought it would be. I've learned that I can't just sit here stuck, waiting for my motivation to find me, as if it would magically reappear. It hasn't! It's up to me. I realize that I alone am responsible for every choice I make. Therefore, today I choose to make a new priority list, one that my health and well being are at the top of. I choose to recommit to this journey - not tomorrow, or on Monday, but TODAY!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Never feel bad about starting over. I'm starting over, too...after a couple of years of sheer hell...but hey...why should the steamroller win, ... right? Haha. One day at a time, we'll get our OOMPH back. Is that a word? Haaaaaaa Do something good for yourself every day and by Christmas, you'll be feeling a whole lot better! That's my plan, anyway. You hang in there and remember, you are not alone. xoxoo emoticon
    2043 days ago
    Well, realizing that you have to go out and find / get your motivation and that it's not going to come to you is half the battle right there. Sometimes the wind just gets knocked out of your sail and your left figuring out where it went and how to get it back. Don't berate yourself over water that's already under the bridge because you can't change it. You are back on the right track now though. Just be sure to take it one step at a time so that you don't get overwhelmed. emoticon emoticon
    2090 days ago
    i loved this blog thank you
    2092 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Stop beating yourself because I am right there along side you. Did I ever need to read this blog today. Could have easily written it myself. Let's both move forward and beat this thing instead of beating up ourselves. Today is the 1st day of the rest of our life. emoticon together! emoticon emoticon
    2093 days ago
    Well Dor, sometimes life just kicks you in the a$$ and dislodges all the things you've put in place to do the right and smart things to help yourself. And although some Sparkers will no doubt just think this is a whiny excuse, some among us are not hardwired to stay driven 24/7 and stronger when things are tough. If it was that simple none of us would have gotten fat in the first place.

    Structure your re-boot in attainable goals that build on each other and give yourself credit for what you do, don't penalize yourself for what you didn't do...that will only mire you deeper in defeat. Be sure to let your great sense of humor drive some of these life improvements!

    Glad to see you blogging again my friend! Hang in there! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2093 days ago
    I can really relate to your struggle. When I am motivated...nothing can stop me, but one minute it is here and the next it is gone???? Where does it go?
    Lately I have been telling myself in weak moments that I am doing this for me and only me. I have to stop living according to other peoples rules and do what I know is right for me.
    2095 days ago
    Good job kicking stress to the curb - hope its evil cousins left with it!
    Some of the best advice I've been given for trying to get myself to a better place is to "fake it 'til you make it" - in other words, act like you are motivated until you find that you actually are motivated again.
    emoticon emoticon
    2096 days ago
    Realize that you nor I are perfect. We are going to fall at times. It's very difficult to get back up, but you are strong. You will get through this. Just start making some small goals and work toward them. Hang in there. emoticon
    2096 days ago
    Good for you, go get em!!

    2096 days ago
  • 13610511
    You are on the right track!

    Thank you for your blog, it is what I needed.

    I am demotivated, and will just pretend that I have some motivation. You are right, it does not appear magically, but if I act like I have some motivation and hopefully it will appear.

    2096 days ago
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